#maybe because I was desperately lonely or bored or some other third thing at the time
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#happened to wake up at 4am and my first thoughts are of our fight#and my mind starts to play out him ending our friendship like some kind of intrusive thought#and just the idea of him leaving me is enough to damn near send me into hysterics#my chest is tight and my throat hurts and Iâm pushing back the tears#we havenât even gotten to that point yet and we may or may not ever get to that moment#and yet Iâm having this horribly visceral reaction#I just had a breakdown like two days ago for other reasons so why am about to break again#is it the shame and the guilt making me think like this?#all I want is to go back to sleep but my body wants to turn into a wreck#I somehow turned into my mother and thatâs killing me too#I watched her make these same stupid mistakes in real time and I made so much fun of her back then#and now Iâm ashamed because I just became another version of her doing the same stupid shit#I knew better from the beginning but I let things happen anyway#maybe because I was desperately lonely or bored or some other third thing at the time#and now I just feel so foolish because look what itâs all turned into#sometimes I wish heâd never come into my life at all because look at how heâs changed me and fucked me up#but Iâm stuck so deep now because heâs everything to me#heâs my best friend and he knows so much about me and heâs entrenched himself into my life#Iâm just so tired of shit like this happening#Iâve learned enough lessons to last a lifetime#when can I have something real that can actually be mine?#Iâm tired of going through this#Iâm tired of pain and longing and sorrow and depression and anxiety and stress#Iâm tired of all of it#sometimes I wish I were just dead instead of stuck dealing with this shit all the time#I guess if he left I wouldnât have to keep guarding this stupid secret so closely#Iâd be free in a sense and could just open up and tell whoever and get my closure in that way#itâs going to be a very long day it would seem#personal
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hey, could you do a neil perry x fem!reader where he (and maybe the boys) comfort her..maybe sheâs ill/period or even just a nightmare.
itâs okay if not !
Sick Days
Pairing: Neil Perry x FemReader
Warnings: fluff, mentions of being sick, language
Summary: Being sick is easily the worst thing that can happen at Welton but at least you have the absolute best friends in the world to make it better, especially your caring boyfriend.
word count: 1.1k
Masterlist
Nothing is worse at Welton than being sick. Being sick was guaranteed to put you behind in classes, get other students to avoid you at all costs, and keep you from spending time with your boyfriend. On top of all of this, you also had your period. Nothing was more demeaning than being the sick girl at a mainly boys school with your time of the month tagging along. So even though you werenât a very emotional person you had found yourself softly crying in your dorm bed after the nurse had told you to stay on bed rest for the rest of the week. What a load of crap.
The other bad thing was if you missed classes absolutely everyone knew. You were more than likely the talk to the school by third period because absolutely nothing else of excitement ever happened here. So while you were locked away in your dorm room everyone got to gossip about your absence. Which was how Neil had found out. He had confirmed the information with your roommate who had been given permission to sleep in another dorm until you had recovered. If he knew you like he thought he did you were no doubt heartbroken that you now had to die of boredom alone in your dorm. Youâd rather go to class and that was saying something.
So with this information he devised a plan. One his friends help set in motion considering they all loved you just as much as he did. They snuck out of their dorms often for Dead Poets meetings in the old Indian Cave so what could it hurt to sneak out and hold a very silent meeting in your dorm. Neil knew youâd be awake, upset and bored to death from having to spend the entire day alone with piles of homework dropped off in your dorm. So itâs no surprise when he opens the door to your dorm and your head lifts from your bed at the small creaking noise that came from it. âNeilâ
âHey baby, howâre you?â he whispers out, heart aching for you and how sick you look. Your covers are wrapped tightly around you and your face is quite pale. The bed infront of you is covered in the homework you mustâve been actively working at, desperate to keep yourself ahead even if you are sick. He doesnât miss the way your lip quivers at his question and he feels guilty for asking. âOh honeyâ
Neil doesnât care about getting sick, he sits beside you in the bed and pulls you into his arms. It was his job to comfort his girl after all, so he kisses your head, and holds you while you softly cry into his chest.
âI hate being so secludedâ you tell him with teary eyes and his eyes soften towards you as he uses his thumbs to brush them away.
âI know, itâs the worst. Which is why weâre hereâ he tells you and your eyebrows furrow in confusion as he says weâre.
âDid the boys come too?â you ask and Neil chuckles and nods before pressing one more kiss to your face before he gets picked on for doing so.
âThey didnât want our best girl being lonely eitherâ he says as he stands and goes back to the door. Your heart clenches from him leaving your side, needing him close to you. He opens the door and youâre met with the smiling faces of each of the boys who file into your room, some sitting on your roommates bed and the others on the ground.
âHey guysâ you smile widely at them, the whisper falling from your lips.
âHey doll, feeling better?â Charlie is the first to respond, his signature flirty smirk on his face.
âI am nowâ you tell him as Neil comes back to sit at your side, arm wrapping around you.
âOur first silent meetingâ Neil whispers to the group and the boys whisper hoot and cheer which has you giggling lightly into Neilâs shoulder.
âShould be easy for Toddâ Knox teases and you all silently laugh at the blonde boy whose cheeks have now burned red.
âImpossible for Charlie thoughâ Cameron adds and Charlie kicks the boy with his foot from where he sits on the bed which instantly has the red headed glaring at him.
âAlright, settle down gentlemen. Letâs take a look at our refreshmentsâ Meeks says, reaching into the pockets of his coat and pulling out mountains of snacks him and the boys had collected. Your stomach grumbles at the sight, thinking of the chicken broth and crackers you had been brought for both lunch and dinner. You were practically starved.
âOh Pittâs, please pass me a cookieâ you call out and the tall boy obeys, plucking a cookie from one of the snack piles and leaning over to hand it to you. You smile thankfully at him and stuff half the cookie into your mouth.
âSomeone seems happy?â Neil teases as you finish the cookie and you smile at him.
âSo happy, I wish I wasnât sick so I could kiss you right nowâ you tell him and the boys quietly ooh which has Neil waving them off.
âIâll be waiting the moment you get betterâ he tells you and you smile softly at him, wishing you could show him how happy he has made you. You vow the moment you are better youâll kiss the shit out of him.
âOkay lovebirds, letâs get this meeting startedâ Charlie says a touch too loud with the clap of his hands and the boys instantly shush him. He holds his hands up in defense and Neil chuckles before pulling the book out of his jacket. You watch him fondly as he reads the opening statement and when he finishes you place a kiss on his cheek.
âWe can leave if you ever get too tired or donât feel goodâ Neil whispers to you and you shake your head, looking fondly over each of the boys.
âNo, stay. I want you all to stayâ the happiness of the others surrounding you being the only thing to make you feel better all day.
âEven if Charlie reads a stupid poem?â he asks and you chuckle and nod.
âIâd actually prefer itâ you tell him and he grins, eyes also glancing at his friends who were so good to come and help cheer you up. The only girl he has ever loved.
âThen weâll stay, until you feel betterâ and you nod, content with that answer and content with the friends you were so lucky to have.
âI want you all to stay foreverâ
#neil perry x femreader#neil perry fic#neil perry fanfic#neil perry x reader#neil perry imagine#neil perry#neil perry blurb#neil perry series#neil perry smut#dps imagine#dps au#dps fanfiction#dps headcanons#dps boys#dps fic#dps fandom#dps#dead poets society imagines#dead poets society neil perry#dead poets society series#dead poets society fanfiction#dead poets society#dead poets au#dead poets fandom#dead poets fanfic#dead poets headcanons#charlie dalton#knox overstreet#todd anderson#steven meeks
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New Room Who Dis?
Chapter 11 of Be My Guest now up on AO3
In which nothing much happens and that annoys Tav a lot.
The House of Hope fills up again with devils fast. Tav sighs about it and complains to Haarlep but there is of course nothing to be done. One Hell is conquered â that leaves eight to go. Raphael also hasn't made good on his promise to repeat their intimate encounter at a more leisurely pace.
Tav managed to steal fleeting touches and a few kisses, but the answer is always the same: soon. They wonder if the devil will draw this out so long that they will again be reduced to such hunger that a minute was all it took.
It is a mean-spirited thought but Tav has second-hand memories they want to experience first hand. So they visit Haarlep instead who is optimistic as ever.
"Five out of eight arch devils offered allegiance and tribute to our dear cambion already," the incubus muses. "I wonder how many he will accept. At least for a while."
Tav doesn't have to ask any longer if Raphael would go back on his word and invade an allied level of hell. He can't fight them all at once, so divide and conquer it is, if piecemeal. Also, one of the arch devils is Mephistopheles and he has to die.
"What do you want to do when this is over?" Tav asks. "What do you want to do that is not sex," they correct immediately after.
"I don't know."
"You don't know? There has to be something."
"I never thought about it." Haarlep shrugs. "It isn't important."
"But, supposed you get out of here. One day. What will you do? Open a sex club?"
"You have the best ideas." The incubus' eyes light up. "Dark and damp, full of greed and unbridled desire. It will be delicious. Of course I have to be careful about the bodies. Can't have them connected to my club."
"Life is easier if you don't kill people," Tav agrees.
"But also boring." Haarlep throws themself onto their back in a theatrical gesture.
Tav wants to argue, but they find themself suddenly armoured up. "The third in as many days," they sigh. "Somebody is getting a little desperate. You'd think they'd learn."
"Not a chance." Haarlep sits up. "Like your precious self, every adventurer counts themself the exception. Unfortunately for them only you are."
"You say the sweetest things." Tav laughs. "Maybe I'll send one your way again. Raphael may be too busy to notice."
"Whenever you're ready. My lips are sealed." Haarlep winks and Tav strides to the foyer.
The killing isn't so bad. Word got around that The Tav Themself was guarding the door and the strategies were wonderfully entertaining. And after a party of five came through with blazing weapons and spells, Raphael granted Tav command over a handful of cambions that they can call on in the blink of an eye.
They were not the most efficient lot and they refused to agree to anything resembling practice, but they did draw fire. Plus, they came from a different hell so killing them just made them pop back into existence a little later a lot angrier.
Today it's a lonely halfling who considers invisibility sufficient to sneak around.
"Really?" Tav asks as they block the incoming blade. "Sometimes I am tempted to send some of you back only so you can tell the other to come up with something challenging."
But of course they cannot do that. Raphael will throw a hissy fit. And nobody wants that. A minute later the body of the intruder sails over the nearest balcony and Tav returns to their room to armour down.
The only thing that annoys Tav about Raphael barraging in when they have their trousers halfway up and their shirt still open is that he doesn't immediately close the door behind him. It takes a very pointed look for him to get it. Maybe because he wasn't looking at their face much.
Tav pulls up their trousers but stops halfway closing them. With their hands lingering at their crotch, Tav tilts their head at the staring devil. "Something I can help with?"
Raphael takes two long steps into their personal space and runs a finger from their stomach up to Tav's throat. "Very much so. Unfortunately, you will have to come along."
With a sigh, Tav finishes dressing. At least they get to manhandle the devilâs hand for a moment. "Lead the way."
They follow him down the corridor and past the library where a new staircase leads down to the dungeon. While it is nice not having to climb a slippery ladder, Tav doesn't know what they are supposed to do down there. Does Raphael have new prisoners? And if so, what has that to do with them?
But the dungeon is not a prison any longer. A cavernous room stretches out towards a throne that looks tiny at the far end. Four door are set at both sides of the long walls and seating accommodations are scattered in the hall. Tav spies no less than five new portraits of Raphael, and once again none catches his actual countenance.
"It may seem a little grand at the moment," Raphael says, "but once I rule all nine hells, it may well be too small. Let me show you around."
With his hand at the small of their back and one wing carefully draping around their shoulders Tav has little choice but to comply. Not that they wouldnât agree to be toured through the hells themselves held like that.
"A council chamber for war council and a staff of advisers," Raphael explains the first door to their left. Opposite is a room with tables and chairs for refreshments and networking. Next to the throne a smaller study is furnished with a central desk and shelves laden with books and scrolls. It is made to look intimidating and with a devil occupying the imposing chair, it may as well. Tav is not impressed until Raphael discloses that, naturally, all rooms are soundproofed.
"For obvious reasons," he adds pouring oil on the fire of Tav's imagination. "And lastly," he throws open the door right of the throne and Tav stops in mid-stride. It doesn't do anything because they are in the firm hold of Raphael who simply moves them inside.
Because that is what it is. There is a fireplace (fire already burning) comfortable chairs a few book shelves and a desk. The window opposite the door looks over a balcony and to their right. Tav swallows. Out of the line of sight from the door, the room expands into a bedroom with cupboards, chests, a stand for armour and everything one might want for personal use.
The bed is at least as big as that in the boudoir, sheets of a darker red like died blood. Tav takes hold of one of the four posts raising a blood-red canopy and scrambles into the middle. There is noway they can hope to touch any of the edges from their position.
Tav looks at Raphael who stands back, waiting for a reaction. As if climbing onto the bed first thing wasn't one. They shake their head. "I like it. Spacious." Also, gilded within an inch of free space, but that is just the devil's taste. "Suits you."
And soundproof. Tav bounces the mattress tentatively. The devil approaches slowly, a question on his face Tav hadn't answered yet. The human looks around trying to find clues.
"Your armour is not here yet," they say the first thing that comes to mind. "Is it in maintenance?"
"That stand is not for my armour," Raphael replies.
It takes an ungodly amount of time for the words to sink in. "For me?" Tav almost squeaks. "You want me to move in here?"
"I will be spending a lot of time down here," Raphael replies. "I will like having you near when you are â resting."
It makes sense. Tav is most vulnerable when they are sleeping. The House of Hope is already full of devils, soon it will be overflowing. "Does it have a shortcut to the library?"
"Not yet." Raphael considers for a moment. "Anything else?"
"No more visiting Haarlep in my shape." Tav folds their arms. "I get up in the middle of the night to kill intruders, I get to get up in the middle of the night for sex. You wanna fuck me silly, fuck me silly. Got it?"
Raphael raises an immaculate brow, but a smile plays on his lips. "My, my. You are possessive, are you not?"
"Maybe you like memories of Haarlep getting ravished in your shape to linger all over you all day long," Tav snaps. "I do not. And since you are going to do the ravishing, I don't see why I shouldn't get to be actually ravished."
"Be careful what you wish for." His eyes strip Tav naked, barely stopping before the skin comes of. "And Haarlep will be disappointed."
"I will deal with Haarlep," Tav grins. "They like me."
"If you believe that." Raphael shrugs but his smile is indulgent. "I leave it to you."
With that he turns and leaves Tav alone in the vast room. Sitting in the middle of the huge bed, they feel inexplicably lonely.
#bg3#bg3 raphael#raphael x tav#bg3 fanfiction#be my guest#chapter 11#mel writes fanfic#sleazy second-hand car dealer
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Haikyuu!! Fic Recs
I love reading fanfics, and I have so many bookmarked that I want to share. Hope you all enjoy and give these writers all the love. All of these are completed works, and they are a mixture of one shots and multi chaps.
Kagehina
where the night goes by bigspoonnoya (M)
Summary:
When their bond loses the immediate context of volleyball, they're left to consider why it's still so vital and important.
Meeting again, by chance, six years later.
Somewhere to Belong by Esselle (E)
Summary:
Once a year, all the villages that follow the way of the sun offer up one of their own to be taken to the sun god's divine temple. Kageyama Tobio, an orphan and loner, never wanted to be chosenâand until the sun god appeared, no one ever wanted to choose him, either. All Tobio wants is to find a place he fits in. What he actually gets is another story entirely.
by this time next year by reeology (T)
Summary:
"I got offers from two universities," Kageyama announces, pointing at his chest with his thumb. "I'm going to play volleyball at Keio this spring."
"You still have to pass an exam, even if it's an easy one," Takeda-sensei hurries to add, although he is beaming and bursting with pride at his fluffy little crow chick taking off to play volleyball at a university level.
"I'll pass," Kageyama says with the same kind of confidence he uses when he tells Hinata he'll get the toss to him. He looks straight at Hinata, and Hinata jerks and turns red, wondering if maybe Kageyama knew he was daydreaming about something as stupid as the way Kageyama talks to him during a game. But then Kageyama just points at him and says, "You'd better get in, too."
Hinata, stupid, naive, idiot that he is, grins wide and nods and says, "Yeah!"
He doesn't know what he's in for.
Not Alone by seconddaysea (E)
Summary:
"I'll visit you," Hinata says. "So you're not allowed to get lonely, you got it?" He turns so they're facing each other, hands warm against Tobio's back. "I'm already lonely," he replies quietly, and he presses his face against Hinata's heart, squeezing his eyes shut, because if this is a dream he doesn't want to wake up.
maps, from me to you by tothemoon (T)
Summary:
This is a (non-chronological) account of the memories they make out of millimeters.
Iwaoi
we can do better than that by spaceburgers (M)
Summary:
Oikawa and Iwaizumi go on a road trip during the summer after their high school graduation. It doesn't go as expected, but maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.Â
we shine like diamonds by whiitemists (T)
Summary:
Oikawa is nine when he first hears the word. The boys on the playground whisper it like it's dirty, like the way they daringly mutter the word fuck and then look over their shoulders to check their parents hadn't heard.
"You know Abe-kun from class?" they snicker, hands cupped around their mouths like they're passing along a filthy secret. "I hear his older brother is... gay."
here comes your man by newamsterdam (T)
Summary:
Iwaizumiâs left his cell phone on the bench, and while Suga keeps his gaze away from Iwaizumi the phone lights up with a new message.
Iwa-chan, it reads, Have a good day today! Good luck! <3 <3 <3
Suga chokes. Itâs hard to imagine anyone calling the scowling and fierce Doctor Iwaizumi âIwa-chan.â But marriage probably comes with all sorts of liberties.
Mrs. Iwaizumi must be quite the doting wife, Suga thinks. Delivering hand-made bentos and sending along loving messages.
No one really knows much about the new surgical resident, Doctor Iwaizumi, other than the fact that he's married. Suga's determined to find out more, and make a friend of him in the process. Â Â Â Â Â Â
just hear me out by loveclouds (T)Â Â Â
Summary:
To stimulate Japan's low birthrates and take most of the guesswork out of dating, a beeper system was biologically developed in people's wrists, an audible confirmation to show romantic compatibility.
Iwaizumi's beeper has been going off for Oikawa since they've been kids. Oikawa's has only ever been silent.
 Call Security! by DeathBelle (T)  Â
Summary:
Oikawa Tooru is attractive, charming, and irresistible.
He thinks so, anyway, until he meets the mall's new security guard.
In which Oikawa has a crush, Iwaizumi has no interest, and a chain of shoplifting incidents brings them together.
Bokuaka
(Don't) Touch Me by DeathBelle (E)Â Â Â Â Â
Summary:
Akaashi has always had an aversion to human contact, but earlier in his life it had been bearable. It isn't until his last year of high school that it becomes intolerable. By the time he enters college, any skin contact has the potential to send him spiraling into a breathtaking panic attack.
He reconnects with Bokuto in college, and he seems to be the only person with the ability to calm Akaashi down. He finds himself relying on his old captain more and more, especially when Bokuto deems himself Akaashi's own personal guardian. Despite their connection, he can't touch Bokuto, either; no matter how badly he'd like to.  Â
Upstairs by yoogiboobi (E)Â Â Â
Summary:
Bokuto first sees his neighbour at the supermarket, three days after he's moved into his new place.
[...]Â
For about a second, a heartbeat, he's met with a pair of dark, piercing eyes, with what is probably eyeliner, looking back at him. It really is just a split second before his hand knocks down three cereal boxes that hit him square in the head, effectively making him break eye contact and drop his groceries to the floor.
In which some of the first things Bokuto learns about his upstairs neighbour are the colour of his eyes and the sound of his moans.    Â
bang! now we're even by Authoress (E)
Summary:
Akaashi only has two rules when it comes to his profession. One, complete the job as swiftly and cleanly as possible. Two, never trust anyone who smells like blood.
Rule three is to shoot Owl Eyes in the face should he ever come across him, but Akaashi never tells anyone about that one.
Crisis Converted by valiantarmor (E)  Â
Summary:
Akaashi Keiji is just a normal cop with a penchant for getting himself into trouble, when quite suddenly he finds himself with a big promotion and a brand new partner.
But his habit of finding trouble hasn't gone away -- if anything, it's only gotten worse.Â
cracks in the pavement will lead you home by deusreks (M)Â Â Â
Summary:
Bokuto often thinks about Akaashi, especially when heâs running. Itâs like his legs know where theyâre supposed to take him. He grows into a habit of running a lot, just to keep that feeling going. Cracks and holes in the pavement arenât fun to jump over if the final reward isnât seeing Akaashiâs face.
An alternate universe with a little bit of magic and a lot of growing up.    Â
Ushiten
died in my dreams by MTrash (Makaria) (T)
Summary:
If anyone asked Ushijima how it came to this, he wouldnât be able to formulate a proper answer.
Ushijima likes his quiet, his order, and his solitude. That is, until a loud, talkative and a little chaotic cyber tech convinces him that that's just plain boring.
while i nodded, nearly napping (suddenly there came a tapping) by pseudoanalytics (T)Â Â Â
Summary:
Of course if there was one thing that could be counted on, it was Ushijimaâs blunt, total honesty. âDo you think Tendou is attracted to me?â
Reon froze. âT-Tendou?â
âYes.â
Tendou was notoriously hard to read, but Reon kind of figured that he wasnât the type to be anything less than painfully overt with romantic affections.
âI... I donât think you have anything to worry about. I think if Tendou was attracted to you, he would let you know,â Reon said. âI'd guess he just considers you his best friend.â He hoped his answer would satisfy whatever frenzy the guy had worked himself into so Reon could finally take advantage of his last precious hours of sleep.
But instead, Ushijima visibly deflated in front of him. âYes. Thatâs what I thought too,â he said miserably.
Oh, Reon realized. Oh no...
Executive Excursion by DeathBelle (E) Â Â
Summary:
Tendou is fun, quirky, and interesting.
Ushijima is none of the above.
It's no surprise that Ushijima is drawn to Tendou's magnetic personality. What's surprising is that Tendou seems to like Ushijima, too.
With a little support from his coworkers, Ushijima decides to take a chance and ask Tendou on a date. The results are better than expected.
fascinating facts about geckos by miracleboysatori (T)Â Â Â Â Â
Summary:Â Â Â
Ushijima Wakatoshi.
Thatâs the coachâs name. And heâs the new biology teacher on campus, so not only is he incredibly beautiful, he's also smart as hell.
Tendou can tell heâs completely doomed.
Affection, and other Quantifiable Actions by badbavarois (T)Â Â
Summary:
(He's a monster) Ushijima Wakatoshi isn't a monster. Â Â Â Â Â Â
Misc/ Other ships
but not for spring to well up by tookumade (T)Â OsaSunaÂ
Summary:
After ending a relationship with a fiancĂŠ, Suna returns home and tries to heal from heartbreak. Here, he finds friends in the form of the Miya brothers, and learns patience, forgiveness, and what happiness means to him. Â Â Â Â Â Â
the more things change by deadseasalt (E) OiKage Â
Summary:
âSo let me get this straight. You went to the Meiji-Chuo game and saw your old crush and after watching Meiji bring Chuo to a crushing defeat, you realized you were still crushing on him big time?â
Kageyama wishes he could spit in Tsukishimaâs drink. âItâs not a crush.â
Tsukishima laughs. âYou poor dumb fuck.â
Third Impression by DeathBelle (E) Kuroo x Semi
Summary:
If Semi has a type, Kuroo isn't it.
After their first meeting, Semi concludes that Kuroo is smug, presumptuous, and a little too flirtatious for his own good. Their second encounter doesn't change his mind, and Semi does his best to avoid a third.
Kuroo has other ideas, and Semi finds himself tricked into an impromptu tutoring session with Kuroo himself.
It doesn't go as badly as Semi expects.
Mannequin Men by surveycorpsjean (E) BokuAkaKuroTsukki
Summary:
The modeling world is full of hungry wolves, constantly clambering over the other, snarling and desperate. They fight, and they kill, trampling over anything in their path.
In this case, Akaashi fell in love with the wolves.
Efflorescence by h_lovely (E) MatsuHana
Summary:
"Are we flirting?" Â "Do you want to be?"
[Efflorescence (n.) a state of blooming, flowering, and development.]
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu fic recs#fic recs#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyuu#hq#kagehina#iwaoi#bokuaka#ushiten#matsuhana#oikage#sunaosa#osasuna#kurosemi#kuroo x semi#bokuakakurotsuki#bokuakakurotsukki#all of these are such great fanfics#i hope to make more of these#i still have more for each ship and for diff ships as well
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ImagineâŚyou meeting the kamaboko squad for the first timeâĽď¸. (pt.3)
No.3 : Hashibira Inosuke
Pairing : Inosuke x [fem] reader
Warnings : none , except for slicing the demonâs head part . If you do count that as violence , other than this is just fluffed <3
a/n : Ahhhh~ weâve finally come to the last part of this series ! ⨠hope you guys enjoyed this ! â˘~â˘
Synopsis : So,youâre a (you choice) rank of demon slayer.Youâve always work alone since the beginning-but then,on one fine dayâŚyour crow told you that you have to work your next mission with another demon slayer,much to your dismay-but still,you comply the orders and went off to finished your missionâŚ
ApplauseâŚ.
PraisesâŚ
These sounds resonate in your ears as people shouted a âThank you!â for you.You flicked your blade gracefully and soundlessly to clear off the lingering crimson blood before put it back into your scabbard and bowed down a little politely to the crowd.
The demon youâve just slew seemed to be so impatient and desperateâŚlike it canât waste another second to devour fleshâŚmaybe thatâs why it appeared immediately after the golden sun left the skyâŚSo lots of citizen still havenât gone home and get the chance to behold you performed your work.
âThank you for saving me and my sonâs livesâŚâ spoke the woman youâve just rescue,her son was clutching tightly to his motherâs leg as he tried to hide behind her back.
âOh!And you can rest for a night at my house too!â She offered with a kind smile and you nodded your head gently.
âThank you for your offer maâam,I really appreciate it and would love to accept if Iâm not bothering you too muchâ You smiled sweetly back at her.And she laughed-
âOf course dear!Youâre not a bother at all!Youâve just saved our lives remember?â She waved her hand as a gesture for you not to worry. âCome,darling.Let me lead you to my houseâ She beamed,before tell her son that itâs ok as she hold his hand gently and start to walk back her home.
You slowly went after her,people were still cheered for you and some even bowed down for you.You felt your heart swelling with joy and felt overwhelmed as you dragged your eyes over the crowd.You canât help but let your lips curved upward slightly at the sight youâre seeing-feeling proud of yourself for being able to protect these peopleâŚ
âHey there!â Called a voice from in front,it was the woman. âArenât you coming?â She cried again and you felt your smile grows a bit wider as you speed up your pace to catch up with them.
After you have had a good meal and a relaxing bath,you let yourself fall to the mattress and stared blankly at the ceiling of your roomâŚ
âAhâŚanother day has passed huh?Time sure travels fastâŚâ You chuckled,then heard something from outside.You immediately sat upright-headâs ringing with thoughts like âThereâs another demon?I thought there was only one,or was it something else?But I still shouldnât really let my guard down,should I?â
You grabbed your sword,preparing for whatever it is that might be âendangeredâ âŚ.
Suddenly,you heard something fall and the door just slide open.It was that timid boy that clutched tightly to his mother earlier,you realized that heâs been peering into you for a while but cracked and slipped to the floor from being careless,which also makes the door slide open and reveal the little mischievous culpritâŚ
âAh!!!!â He cried as he hit the floor,you felt your heart skipped a beat when the door slides open-before calming down and sighed a bit to yourself,feeling relieved that it isnât anything badâŚ
You got up from the mattress and walked over to help the child to his feet, âAre you alright?â Was your first question as you grabbed his arm gently while your other hand gripped on his waist lightly to pull him up.
The boy nodded slightly with trembled lips, âI-I-Iâm s-s-sorryâŚâ he stuttered out,and you sighed again while smiling at him.Your eyes were kind,and filled with adoration as you gazed down at him lovingly.
âItâs okâŚyouâve got nothing to be sorry or scare aboutâŚâ you ruffled the boyâs head lightly.
âSoâŚwhy are you here?If I may ask?â You question as you sit down to match his level.This boy is probably only about 5 to 6 years old,heâs so cute and tiny <3
âI-IâŚC-can I really s-say it?â He answered nervously,fidgeting with his fingersâŚand you nodded gently with a small smile.Trying to encourage him to tell you whatâs wrong.
âI-I saw you f-fighting with the d-demon todayâŚand I t-thought it w-was pretty coolâŚI also w-wonder if I-I could be like that when Iâm o-olderâŚâ He spoke quietly,itâs almost as a whisper,he stumbled over his own words,his eyes scurried around from side to side.He looks like he wanted to scream but doesnât have the courage to do so.This make you laughed softlyâŚ
âOf course sweetie,of course you can be like me when you get older.Iâm sure youâll become stronger and braver when the time passedâŚâ You smiled fondly as you let out your statement,you just know you adored this boy so much.
âYou s-sound just l-like my motherâŚâ he mumbled,and you laughed.
âReally?Iâm sorry if I bored you then,but your mother is a very good,kind and sweet lady.Shower her with love,ok?She cares and loves you so much more than any words could describedâŚâ You mused joyfully,and the boy look up at you with the slight confusion in his eyesâŚ
â..H-How did you know?â His voice was hesitant,but curious.
âOnly by the look in her eyes when she gazed at you was enough to tell me thatâ You grinned,âWhatâs your name dear?â.
âA-AkiraâŚâ He answered shyly, and you continued-
âGood name,my nameâs (L/n) (y/n).Akira,Iâm sure youâll be a great and strong fighter in the future as long as you believe.â You state firmly,and you swore you caught a little glimpse of twinkle in the boyâs eyes.
âY-You really believe like that?â He looked up,and you beamed.
âYes,now,would you mind telling more about your dreams Akira?â You spoke softly,he blinked before slowly nodding.His hands were clutched together tightly,telling you that he was still nervous.
âCâmonâ You said,standing up while you outstretched your hand, âYou sure donât want to stand here until your legs are sore,do you?â
He nodded stiffly again.You led him to your room and let him sit down beside you on the mattress, âSoâŚâ You started, âWhy do you wish to become like me?â
âI-I b-because you look so c-cool when you swing your b-blade!A-and your face didnât even s-shift a little w-when you sliced the demonâs head o-off!â He stuttered out,but you can sense the excitement behind his voice.
âI guess it just happens so often that Iâm used to it!â You laughed and he blinked.
âY-youâve k-killed other demon b-before?â He asked,you nodded slowly.
âReally!?I-is it is it hard?Or s-scary?â Said the boy.
âHmâŚâ You hummed, âMaybe a bit.But if I do nothing but scared,I wouldnât be able to saved people,would I?â
âOhâŚi-itâs trueâŚâ He looked down sadly with his shoulder slumped.
âYou have just saved us today tooâŚI wish was more braver and stronger so I can protect my mother and be like you somedayâŚâ He added. You canât lie the fact that youâre a bit curious about his father-but you stopped yourself.
âYou can also be like me when youâre older,I already told you that right?â You asked.
âYes..but itâs just so hard to truly believe I can be like thatâŚâ He trailed offâŚThis make you sighed.
âLetâs talk about other things-What do you like to do?Playing?Or something else?â You said. Decided to change the subject-his eyes lit up immediately with interest.
âOh!I like to play hide and seek with my friends!And a lot of other things!â He spoke quickly.From what you can see he start to get more courage to speak with you since he doesnât really stutter like he used to.
âTell me more about it thenâ You smiled and he beamed backâŚ
Thatâs how it went.Akira talked on and on about things,his passion,what he likes and dislikes and many more things else.Not that you were complaining,you were glad he has gained more confidence in speaking.Plus you have fun listening to him talking too!
Until,the boy yawned again for the third time after some moments.Making you realized it was pretty late already so you tell him that he should go back to his room and have some rest.
âAnd,(y/n)-sanâŚâ Akira said suddenly as he stopped and turn to you before he leave.
âHm?â You hummed while smiling up at him.
âYou said that you worked to killed demonsâŚâ He started,a little bit hesitation cleared in his voice. âThere were rumorsâŚabout one demon that lives in the nearby mountainsâŚThey say he looks like a boar-a very hot and short tempered boarâŚPlease be careful with it,if youâve ever encountered itâŚâ He seemed to shudder a little as he spoke.
âI willâŚâ said you, âThank you so much for this informationâ You bowed your head a little.
He nodded,before turning and leave the roomâŚ.
You blew the candles and let yourself fall to the mattress⌠âA demon who looks like a boar?â You thought to yourself, âBetter be prepared thenâŚâ You sighed.Closing your eyes before drifting off to your peaceful slumberâŚ
âââââââââââââââââââââââââ
The rays of sunlight shone through as you stand outside the house.Saying goodbye and thank you to the woman who let you rest at her houseâŚ
âYou can stay for a little longer and have breakfast with usâŚâ The woman said.And you shook your head gently,
âNo,I already owe you so muchâŚStill,thank you for your kind offer once againâŚâ You smiled.
âHow many times do I have to tell you that youâre not a bother to us at allâŚâ She sighed tiredly.
âIâm so sorry thenâŚâ You chuckled, âAndâŚMay I ask where is Akira?â You questioned.Turning your head from side to side to look for the little boyâŚ
âOh,that boy?â Said the mother, âHeâs still fast asleep inside the house.He seemed so tired so I donât want to wake him up yet,since itâs still so earlyâ She answered.
âI seeâŚâ You nodded, âMissâŚMay I also askâŚ.â You hesitant⌠âUhâŚabout your husband?â You managed outâŚ
There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of you for a whileâŚbefore she replied.
âOf course,my husband already died about a year agoâŚso Akira was pretty lonelyâŚâ She sighed quietly againâŚ
ââŚIâm so sorry to hear thatâŚâ You apologized, ââŚYour son is a very strong boyâŚâ You added.
âHe isâŚâ She nodded with a small smile, âHe seemed to like you tooâ She said- âIâve noticed his slight changed behaviorâ
You laughed, âReally?Iâm gladâ You smiled back at her one last time-before saying, âI think I better go now,thank you so much againâ You bowed politely to the mother.
âYou donât really have to bowed!â She said, âOnly thank you was enoughâ
You nodded once you were back to your original position, âGoodbye then maâam,please have a great day.â You smiled,then turn and went offâŚ
âYou are always welcome here dear!â The woman cried after you and waved her arm,you waved back and continued on your wayâŚ.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Your crow came flapping towards you before gently landed on your left shoulderâŚ.
âHello (your crowâs name),how are you?â You greeted as you scratched its neck lightly.
âGood!Your next mission is in the graveyard in southwest town!Rumors say there will be demon appeared every night there!Youâll probably reached there at night if youâre not so lazy!â The crow shouted loudly beside your ears,you feel like your eardrums would break any second if you hear your crowâs voice againâŚ
âHey,Iâm offended!Please just be a little more careful with your words next time,will you?â You saidâŚand the crow answered-
âNo!What I said is right and true!â Squawked the crow,this make you sighedâŚ
âAnd!â (Your crowâs name) speak again, âYou have to work with another demon slayer this time!â Barked the crow.
âWith another demon slayer?â You echoed in astonishment as you stared at the bird with wide eyes.
âYes!And one more thing!Beware of the boar!â Your crow cried before it lifted off and fly to the blue skyâŚ
âWait!â You tried to stopped it,but it was no use. (Your crowâs name) just go fluttered its wing freely farther and farther away from youâŚ
You sighed again, âYou could have just told me more about that another demon slayer!Or at least,what he or she looks likeâŚâ You mumbled the last part.At least even some more information about the demon is good enough for youâŚYou thought grumpily as you took another step and began to continued walking to your next destinationâŚ
âWho was that someone I need to work with?He or she?âŚIf it was a boyâŚ.â You felt your cheeks dusted some light shades of pink, âWas he handsome?â You bit your lip and slapped yourself internally, âNo no,I must not think like this.My work here is slaying demon and yes I should focus on it.Surely I can do thatâŚâ
You paused,sighingâŚ.âRight?â
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
Youâve made it to the graveyard at night exactly like what (your crowâs name) told you.After asking for ways and some informations about the demon with people who lives in the nearby village.
They say that itâs true about the rumors,there were people who strangely disappear every night whether they were just asleep or doing somethingâŚand another strange thing was that,every morning they will see blood-lots of blood scattered all over the graveyard.The smell is bad and very stinky tooâŚThere havenât been anyone who dared to come across that place as this occurred more and more oftenâŚ
ExceptâŚThere was one man,he wore something that looks like a boar mask.So they couldnât see nor remember his face-that boy was courageous,but got a short tempered and so much enthusiasmâŚHe went to the graveyard a few days agoâŚ.No one has seen him since then,they assumed that he was probably dead by ghosts,rancorous souls or whatever-
People also described that the boarâs mask man was a bit off the word ânormalââŚSome called him âcrazyâ or âmadâ from the way he went laughing and running to the graveyardâŚ.
âEhâŚa boar again??? Can everything Iâve heard about the boarâŚbe related???â You thought to yourself after you thanked the people for informations and head to the graveyardâŚ
When you reached thereâŚThe place was dark and filled with stinky smell like what youâve been toldâŚ
You covered your mouth and nose with your hand while slowly looking from side to sideâŚ.But you saw nothingâŚ
Then suddenly you heard someoneâs cryingâŚ
You quickly whipped your head towards the direction where the voice came and saw a girl crying at one stone,her head on her knees as her body tremble uncontrollably.She has no sense that she could be a demon,you sighed in relived before slowly moved towards herâŚ
âHeyâŚâ You called quietly,and she jumped as she shot her head up at you.
âAre you alright?â You asked.Her frame shook violently with fear-
âW-who are you?â She asked back,tears still ranning down her cheeks.
âShhh,donât cry.Iâm not here to hurt you-but please just tell me,what happened?â You cooed,crouching to her level and rubbed her shoulder to comfort her.
âM-my friends and I came to see if there was a real ghost in this graveyard.I-I already told them we shouldnât come here especially at night!But they wouldnât listen and now theyâre dead!I-I saw it with my own eyes-I-itâs so t-terrifyingâŚâ She sobbed harder covering her face with her handsâŚIt pains you to see her like thisâŚ
âShe was only a childâŚand here she isâŚhas to watch this dreadful and brutal sceneâŚâ You thought sadly as you watch her with sympathize. âI feel sorry for herâŚIâm sorryâŚIf only Iâve arrived here a little faster your friends wouldnât have been deadâŚâ You contemplate with anger,you were angry with yourself for not being able to protect her friends.All you can think now was that,you must protect this girlâŚ
As youâre about to ask her how long has she been sitting here-you heard a screech coming from your left.You snapped your head to see what the sound was.And your eyes met with the demonâs disgusting eyesâŚ
It has to be the demon whoâs killed this girlâs friends,from the blood that dripped down to the floor from its mouthâŚThe girl shriek in fear and you drew out your blade while gritted your teeth.
You must win this battleâŚ
The demon snarled at you and immediately charged towards you and the girl.This one seemed to be so hungry for humanâs flesh and blood but it doesnât have the desperation like the last demon youâve slew.You yelled for the girl to run as you gripped your sword preparing to killed this demon in one blow with (your breathing) styleâŚ
The girl scurried away from the demon and you raised your blade over your head,ready to swing.Just about time you swing your blade-aiming for the demonâs neck.The demon got stab to its side and staggered back clutching its wound.It pulled the blade out and throw it to the side,wincing and wriggling in pain.
You whipped your head to the way where the blade came from and met with a man whoâs wearing a boar mask as he laughed wildly with contentment about somethingâŚ
You stand there blinking in shocked as he continued to laugh and say something like, âYou see how strong I am now!?Of course!Because I am the great Inosuke!The strongest swordsman in this world hahahaha!â.
âA boarâŚa boarâŚa boarâŚ.So familiarâŚOh!That man!The one peopleâs been talking about!Heâs not yet dead?How surprisingâŚâ You thought as your mind tried to process about whatâs happeningâŚ
âAndâŚseems like the people were rightâŚHeâs something but definitely not normalâŚâ You observed as heâs still not laughing nor just shut his mouth⌠âHe didnât really seemed to care about the demonâŚdid he?â
The demonâs shook its body for a few more times before looked up and glared the so called âThe great Inosukeâ.It hissed and rushing towards him-probably wishing to end his lifeâs first.
âHa!You thought I have only one blade!?Wrong!I have two blade!Waiting to cut off your head here!So cool I know!Hahaha!â Said Inosuke,raising his other blade in his other hand to show the demon.
âSeriously?â You thought,shocked and baffled.You immediately chase after the demon but it didnât seem to care-Itâs like it want nothing more than to ripped the boar mask manâs heart out of his chest.
You quickly sliced the demonâs head off using (whatever form you like) form from (your breathing) style once you reach it and as it was about to grab the man.The boar mask man also prepared to stab through the demon body again but you steal his thunder firstâŚ
âHa!?â He cried with disbelief, âHow dare you!?I was about to finished this demonâs first!â He pointed at you,specifying.
You ignored him as you flicked your blood clean before putting it back into your scabbardâŚ
âHey!Iâm talking to you!â He bristled,and you sighed tiredly.
âI just want to finished my work.Is it that hard to understand?â You raised your eyebrow as you glance at him.
âI donât care!But you just stole my scene!I canât accept that!Who are you!?Iâm Hashibira Inosuke the greatest!And who are you!?â He shouted,so loud-you rolled your eyes at him.
â(L/n) (y/n),satisfied now?â You answered.
âNo!I demand a fight!Letâs fight to see whoâs stronger than who!?â He cried,and you stared at him for a minute,blinking.
âWhat!?â He bellowed.
ââŚNothingâŚI just canât believe how childish you actedâŚâ You spoke calmly,before turning- âAnd maybe next time for your fight.As you can see-Iâm busy right now.So please wait patiently-â You stopped,looking around.Finding for the girl-
âThere you areâ You called once you find her,walking towards the girl.
âAre you alright dear?â You asked,crouching down to her level.The girl was still a bit scared of what has just happened but she still manage to nodded for your question.
âGoodâ You smiled, âCâmon,let me take you back to your home.Where do you live sweetheart?â You demand as you take the girlâs hand.
âI-In the village.â She answered nervously,glancing around to see if there was more demons.
âItâs ok love, just stay close to me alright?Iâll protect you.â You tell her,trying to make her relaxed.And she nodded again,too afraid to speak.You gripped her small hand a little tighter.Before heading back to the village.
âHey!â Called another voice behind you,you turned around only to be met with the same boar mask man. âHow dare you ignoring me again!?â He cried,you sighed and shook your head in response.
âWill you just stand there,or come with us?â You asked him,and he seemed stunned a bit.
âCome with you?Why would the great Inosuke come with you!?â He yelled back.
âUp to you thenâ You said before continued to walk out of the graveyard.
âWait!â He cried but this time you didnât even glance back. âDamn you!â He said,but still-he ran after you back to the village.Saying that this can be a challenge of who ran faster.
âHe really isnât normalâŚâ You thought to yourself as you watch him ran towards the village as fast as he can. âIâm not taking that challenge!â You cried but he didnât seem to hear thatâŚ
âI guess waiting for some minutes wouldnât hurt for him thenâŚâ You shrugged.
As you reached the village you met with the parents of the girl.They seemed so worried and scared from the gasp and sound of happiness they made as soon as they saw their daughter.The little girl also immediately ran into her parents arms,crying.The scene was just so beautiful that you somehow that a tear might slipped from your eyes.
The girl then pointed at you saying that you were the one who saved her from the scary ghost in the graveyard.Her parents looked up with gratefulness and the people nearby started clapping and cheering for you.Shouting a big âthank youâ for their hero.This make the same feeling of your heart swelled with joy came back again.
You were so so happy at that momentâŚuntil that boar mask man came shouting towards you that you lose and he win or something like thatâŚ
âWhy were you so slow!?See!Well,Iâm the great Inosuke so of course I win!And you lose hahahahahah!â He laughed again,and you smiled dryly at him.
âCouldnât he just come to me later?â You thought sickly,before sighing.
The crowd,were shocked and surprised to see that heâs still alive.Gasping and whispering became widespread through the people.Still,the parents of the little girl offer you and Inosuke to rest for a night or two at their house.You two of course accept the offer,you thanked them politely all the while Inosuke,laughed wildly while saying something like, âOf course Inosuke the great will accept your offer hahaha!â.
At lastâŚhe didnât even thank themâŚ. -_-
ââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You sighed with contentment as you walked to stroll a bit to refresh yourself before going to bed.You decided to go and relax at the engawa (veranda).But when you go there,oh-how much did you regret your decisionâŚ
You found that boar mask man,sitting at the edge of the engawa with his legs dangling over it.You almost turn on your heels to go back to your room until you noticed something strangeâŚ.
Inosuke,or what you believe to be his name,wasnât wearing his boar mask as he usually does.He just sit there staring off into the distance with no aware that you were watching him.
And not to mention that you almost slipped on your feet once you saw his face.His face-was just so feminine that you almost thought for a second that he was a girl covering her body to look like a boy-
You were debating with yourself for quite a moment about should you go to him or not that you didnât noticed him slowly turning back as if he feels like someone was watching him.
He yelped in surprised once he saw you, âWhat are you doing here!?â
You also immediately shot your head to look at him, jumped. âHuh?Me?I-um,I was-I was just about to sit and relax at the engawa for a bit!But I didnât know that you were already here so I was just planning to leave.â You excused yourself quickly.
He eyed you,feeling suspicious-looking at you from head to toe before meeting your gaze. âThen who stopped you?Just come and sit.â He said.
You were surprised that he didnât yelled or shouted at you this time.But you sure wonât complain-you wouldnât want to make him mad and just shouted at you again.
âSo-why are you here?â You asked as you sit down.Decided to ease the tension a bit.
âI donât knowâ He answered,looking down at his lap.Seems like your plan didnât work-what about this one?
âInosukeâ You called, âWhy do you become a demon slayer?â You asked as you turned your head to face him.
âH-how did you know that I was a demon slayer!?â He demand suddenly,and loudly.
You blinked, âUmâŚit was pretty obvious since your blade can make the demon disintegratedâŚAnd that kind of blade normally belongs to a demon slayer.â You explained,hoping that he would understand.
âOh-right,and well-I just met a normal demon slayer in my mountain.I asked him for a fight and he loses,thatâs when I heard about the final selection and become a demon slayer.â He said and your eyes widen.
âYour mountain?â You repeat.And he blinked at you before nodding.
âYeah,whatâs wrong with that?â He asked.You shook your head.
âNothing, just a bit surprised.â You answered,remember your conversation with Akira,perhaps he is really the one who Akira spoke aboutâŚYou thought to yourself-deciding not to tell Inosuke about this in case it make him mad or even worse-make him praise himself againâŚ.
Inosuke doesnât speak anything after that for about 1 solid minute,he just stare intently at you all the time which start to make you feel a bit uncomfortableâŚ
âUmâŚâ You started,shifting a bit in your seat. âWh-â
âTell meâ was all he spoke,and that suddenly make you realized that he was waiting for you to tell him about how you become a demon slayer.He wanted to ask but is too stubborn to speak it himself-this make you smile and chuckled.
âSure thing,well- (You start telling your own story of how you became a demon slayer.I want to leave this to your own imagination about your past.Inosuke will listen to every single bit of your story no matter how short or long it is,please enjoyed <3)â
âI seeâ He answered, âInteresting storyâ he added and you laughed.
âYou think so?â You asked him,and he nodded.This make you smiled.
ââŚ.Do you have any family?â He questioned suddenly,you must admitted that this has taken you aback.
â(Yes or no,up to you!)â You answered, âAnd you?â
âI donâtâŚI canât even remember my own motherâs faceâŚâ He said,there was a hint of sadness behind his voice.You looked at him before sighing-
âGosh-Donât be so dramatic.You are not the only one whoâs lost,Iâve met a 5 years old boy whoâs also lost his father about a year ago-Even that little boy is stronger than youâ You said,standing up while shook your head gently. âThe great Inosuke shouldnât be weak like you,should he?â You asked,looking at him one last time before youâre about to turn and walk away.
âIâll just go to bed now-Goodnight,weak.â
âHey!Who did you just called âweakâ !?â He cried after youâve just took a few steps.Seizing your wrist tightly,the sudden movement make you lose your balance.Inosuke tried to stop your fall by pulling you to him-but how accidentally it ended up with you sitting on his lap,eyeâs wide filled with shocked and surprised.
You and him stayed there in that position for a moment,you felt your cheeks heat up bright red as youâre still shocked about what just happened before you pulled yourself together and make yourself get up from his lap.Ignoring how comfortable and warm he is or how you wanted to stay there for a little longer-But it is too embarrassing for you â˘///â˘
âI-I-I think I will just go to bed now!Sleep well!â You quickly said before turn on your heels and immediately bolted to your room.Leaving him still sitting there,dazed and embarrassed.Dark red coloured itself into his face as he stared at his palm and think back to that moment earlierâŚ
As you soon as you reached your room.You immediately fall to the mattress and stared at the ceiling,thinking.
âHe was just a friend,he was just a friend,he was just a friend,but wait-when exactly did I counted him as my friend?â You thought,then pull a pillow to shove your face into it,blushing hard.
You were screaming inside as you felt so restless, âI cannot think straight anymoreâŚâ was your last thought before you forced yourself to sleep and just forget itâŚ
But can you really?Sorry but Iâd say no.Honey-look at you,your face are still dusted with pink even when you told yourself to forget it! owo
âââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
When the next day came⌠-~-
You woke up,feeling tired and sore from yesterdayâs work.Being a demon slayer sure is very hard and tiring-and you know you have to get up now or else your crow would come and wake youâŚ
(which you surely didnât want that,you wouldnât want your crow to came barking at you to wake up,would you?)
But as you started to get conscious as you stretched your tired muscles a bit?Oh darling-you mind just take you back to that sweet,embarrassed memories youâve just witnessed yesterday-
You cheeks immediately went dark red again when you recalled it.You shook your head and slapped yourself internally once again before you got up and get ready for the dayâŚ
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
You walked out of the house after you went to say goodbye to the owners of the house.They weâre still sleeping soundlessly together with their daughter sleep in the middle and got squeezed warmly by her parents on both of her side.This make you smile before you decided to write a not and leave it on the table instead.
You met with Inosuke once you slide the door open,you felt yourself blushing once your eyes met with his frame.He turned back to look around and trust me,this boy also got a little bit of pink tinted in his face.He quickly look away,decided to avoid eye contact with you.
You greeted him awkwardly,and he greeted back.An uncomfortable silence fell between the two of you as you walked away from the house.After a while,your crow came fluttering its wings toward you and Inosuke.(Your crowâs name) immediately plopped itself on your shoulder.It surely does notice that somethingâs off as you donât welcome it as you normally do.
âYour next mission is at Tsuzumi mansion!You two did well in your last mission so we decided that you two should go and do another mission together!Now,donât be lazy and keep going until you reached your next destination!â Yelled the crow before it opened its wing and flew off into the clear sky.
You two stay there gawkily before Inosuke decided to break the silence, âSoâŚUh-Weâve to do another missionâŚtogether?â He began slowly while glancing at you.You nodded your head stiffly.
âIâŚguess?â You answered back.And he bit his lip hesitantly.
âIâŚYesterdayâŚwas-umâŚactually just an accidentâŚâ He state nervously,and you turned your head to fully look at him.
âYeahâŚit wasâŚIâm sorry for thatâŚâ You added too,and he shake his head.
âNah itâs alrightâŚitâs um-like I said, just an accidentâ He spoke.You giggled a bit at how stubborn he is to just properly apologize.
âW-Why are you laughing!?Whatâs so funny!?â He bristled with his face getting a bit more red as he heard your laugh.He wonât admit that he likes it when you laughed or even just simply smile. đ
âNothing!You were just so cute looking like that!â You stated happily with a small smirk when you saw him blushing.He got even redder at that- >///<
âC-cute!?Who!?Me!?â He asked,pointing at himself for confirmation while whipping his head around to see anybody else.
âYes you~Itâs you stupid brain!Youâre so dumb!â You teased.
âWhat!?â He cried and you laughed,run in front of him before stopped.
âYou like competition right!?Then come and catch me if you can!â You cried,turning and continued to run away.
âHa!Bold of you to challenge me!Let me tell you first-I will not lose!â He shouted back as he chase after you to catch up.
This is sure would be such a long,long journeyâŚ.
Finished ! đ Guys-I finally finished this series ! âĽď¸ Yas !!!!! â¨
Itâs been so much fun writing ! đ I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I do writing it ! đ And I was wondering -
Is it ok if I take a break for 2 or 3 weeks or more ? I want to reward myself a bit and I also want to collect more ideas and information ! đ
Like - I wonât be posting any work , but still here to chat / talk or play ask game / tag game or whatever ! â¤ď¸ Just no story writing ( but maybe except for some quick imagines or short scenario - I donât know owo )
But please know this - No Nsfw , Lemon , Smut please ! I wonât accept any of this - pls understand
And one more thing ! I think Iâll stop the posting every Sunday - after doing this series I feel like I want to write whenever I feel like it . Like I wanted to write because I wanted to write not because itâs time to write . Something like that - I hope you guys would understand ! đĽşđ
Now , thank you so much , please have a lovely day / night everyone ! Do not forget to take care too love ! <3
I do not own the art (s) nor the character (s) ! Credits to the artist ! đ
-With love,BamBamđŚ˘đ
#@bambam2550đŚ˘đ#demon slayer#kimetsu no yaiba#demon slayer x reader#kimetsu no yaiba x reader#anime x reader#x reader#x y/n#x you#inosuke hashibira#hashibira inosuke#kny inosuke#inosuke#hashibira#inosuke x y/n#inosuke x reader#inosuke x you#hashibira x reader#hashibira x y/n#hashibira x you
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YANDERE ! SHIGARAKI TOMURA x FEM ! READER
goodiebag WARNINGS: yandere, dubcon/noncon, abuse, anxiety, drugging, guilt, kidnapping, abduction,Â
FATE
It was fate. Thatâs what heâd said. It was a rather brief encounter. She woke up, in a bed that was not her own, in a dark room devoid of windows, smelled a smell she could only be describe as dust, with a man she didnât quite recognize. He lurked in the corner, quietly observing her in her slumber. Wanting so badly to touch her, because he knew he could. And he had, until that nagging feeling of guilt surfaced and he forced himself to retract his hand from traveling up her thigh and confined himself to the corner of the room. His fingers itching to touch her soft, warm skin. He admonished himself for using too much of the drug, perhaps she would have woken up already if heâd been more careful, but he figured it was a safety measure that had to be done, otherwise she mightâve woken up before heâd gotten her to his room. And what was worse was that when she did finally wake up he didnât have much time to explain. He was happy she didnât scream, but that could have been the drug. She most certainly wasnât as docile when he came back.
That was a while ago now. Or⌠at least it felt that way to him. He was so itchy. Seeing her every day. And only barely being allowed to touch her didnât help. In fact, it only made him that much more itchy. He tried his best to be kind, to be understanding. Not wanting her to grow bored in his absence. Heâd even allowed her access to his console and games, however offline. But there was hope; she seemed to have accepted the situation more now. She had at least stopped screaming and struggling and using every second on trying to escape. He felt that maybe she was more inclined to be with him now, after spending so many hours alone. He wished she wouldnât fight him. He really didnât want to make her uncomfortable, but⌠he was just so itchy.
She cursed her quirk. It had always been a nuisance. At the doctors she had to file for traditional check-ups because no healing quirk could surpass her immunity. It was a joke at best. Quirks couldnât touch her. When it came to Tomura, she definitely saw it as a cruel joke. Without her quirk he had the power to kill her on the spot, however with her quirk the monster had fallen in love with her, clung to her as though she were the only person left on earth. What was worse was that she actually sympathized with him. âIt must be a terribly lonely existence.â Thatâs what sheâd said to him under their first encounter. This, however, by no means meant she was going to willingly become his little pet. She struggled throughout the entirety of her first day, screaming her lungs out, crying her eyes out, kicking until she had no more energy to give and then fallen asleep, only to have awoken with his arms slung around her, tightly gripping onto her as though his life depended on it. That day too, sheâd thrashed and sneered when he tried touching her. However, there came the third day⌠when he snapped.
This was yesterday. She woke up with her wrist tied snuggly together above her head, more rope connecting them to the bedpost. A product of his growing impatience. She began hysterically crying once he climbed on top of her, begging him, pleading, bargaining, saying his name as though he were some type of malicious God she had to satisfy.
And although heâd gone through the lengths and extremities of threatening to kill all her acquaintances to quit her objections, he couldnât go through with it. Again, he didnât want her to feel abused. He didnât want to cause her any pain nor be the reason behind her tears. He didnât want her to fear him or hate him, he wanted the opposite. He adored her. All he wanted was some peace of mind, and she served as his only sanctuary.
He hadnât fully realized how badly he wanted her before he held her in his arms throughout that entire night. He always enjoyed sleep, but with her lying against him it became nothing short of heaven. With her wrists still tied together, there was little she could do to stop him, his death threats still lingering in the air, when he started decaying every piece of clothing. Feeling the tremors run through her. The quaking as his hands danced up her exposed skin, playing with what they found. Feeling her recoil into him each time he would, in his amateurism, pinch too hard. He thought of her continuous quivering as similar to when a puppy wags its tail, to distract himself from what it really indicated. It was easy to forget himself when she was soft like velvet and smooth like silk and warm like life itself up against him. He didnât do much more. Untying her before he had to go. Watching her rub her sore wrists made his stomach fold in guilt when he left this morning. He apologized, but she didnât answer.
Stealing her was selfish, he could admit that, but he would make it up to her if she only allowed him one little tasteâŚ
She sat on the bed when he came back, wet hair dripping onto the sheets. She showered before he came, an attempt to wash the night off her, it only mildly irked him. He couldnât stay mad though, not when she was sitting there so preciously with his black hoodie on, looking at him with such wide, glossy eyes. He kept the room dark; light irritated his skin, and he didnât want to feel anything but comfort when he was with her. Besides, maybe the dark could make him seem just a little bit more appealing. She still flinched when he made to touch her.
Not wanting to scare her, he decided to kneel down instead. Enjoying how her feet didnât meet the ground when she sat propped up on the bed. Taking her ankles, delicately gliding his fingers around them, and placed them on top of his thighs. Not letting go. He leaned his forehead against her knee, feeling as though her warm skin was absolution itself, a paradise of some sorts. She didnât say anything, but the uncontrolled breaths were loud enough to indicate her fear. She was the one person he couldnât harm, yet somehow, she seemed more afraid than anyone else. He wouldâve laughed, but it wouldnât have helped.
He dragged his fingers alongside her legs and came to a halt at her knees, wanting to part them. He hadnât given her anything to wear, not seeing the point as they would probably be disintegrated anyway. She hadnât taken the opportunity to put on one of his boxers either. All the clothes she came in were a pile of ash, thanks to him. In other words; his hoodie was the only thing she was wearing. How could he possibly hold himself back? It was almost as though she meant to antagonize him.
She felt the pressure he added to his fingertips, her knees slowly starting to spread. She curled her toes, a small whimper spluttering past her lips. She knew she shouldnât have, but she stopped him. Taking his hands in hers. He didnât seem all too provoked. Giving him a desperate look, one that was met with an even stronger, hungrier desperation. He leaned his chin on her knee, observing with a curious look as she intertwined her fingers with his. It was a weak attempt, but he seemed subdued. It was only for a brief moment.
âThis is nice...â It reverberated through her legs, his Adamâs apple bobbing up against her kneecap. âButâŚâ It came only a second later, however it sounded so much darker. It was such a heavy word, one laced with a sense of defeat, an apology. âI need more.â Heâs fast, it only took a second before she was on top of him. Quickly propping her legs up around his waist and lifting, turning them around so she could sit firmly slotted in his lap. She knew not to struggle. He was still dangerous. Slender, but not without muscle. He was lanky and tall and above all else; devoted. There was no stopping him.
Her shoulders still grazed, although she tried to calm herself. For some reason she still didnât want to hurt his feelings. Didnât want to upset him. It didnât take long before he disintegrated the hoodie, earning a tremor and a gasp from her. The feeling waved over him. He would have enjoyed it, but he was much too surprised to find yet another piece of clothing beneath. Surprised, only slightly disappointed. It was like unwrapping a present, he humored silently to himself.
He could tell it was best to go slow, in order not to break the shell. He didnât want her to cry, and he was sure if he did too much too fast, she would almost certainly start bawling. Giving into simply brushing the now settled dust off her, yet quickly getting carried away. Digging his calloused fingers into the doughy flesh of her thighs, all very slowly, enjoying himself carefully. He was still getting used it, marveling at how she didnât fall apart under his touch. Still, he wanted more, he needed more. He glid his hands up the sides of her waist and she started shaking. Trembling knees, caused trembling thighs and so on and so forth, and the feeling of her quaking against him felt nothing short of unhinging. His mouth watered and he had to swallow, trying his best to pace his breathing, failing however, it only made him sound that much more crazed.
âTomuraâŚâ It was a small attempt at a protest, especially when he quite enjoyed the sound of his name drip so sweetly off her tongue. Anyone else with the same ambitions would probably have ignored it, but he wanted her to understand. To understand that she was more than a toy to him, that she was godsend. He didnât want her hurt, he wanted something else. And thatâs why he chose words.
âPeople die when I touch them.â He didnât look into her eyes, not sure what would stare back at him. He didnât want to see plead, or⌠he didnât want to take pleasure in her pleading. âSo, Iâve kept my hands to myself.â She wasnât sure if he believed that his actions were justifiable. She wasnât sure if it were himself or her he was trying to fool. âI havenât touched anyoneâŚâ It sounded desperate. âFelt anyoneâŚâ It sounded broken. âFor so long.â It was hard not to sympathize. It was hard to be angry at him. âIâve stayed away.â She almost felt the urge to hug him. âOnly touching people when its necessary.â If heâd given her just a few more days, then perhaps she would have. âI feel like I deserve this.â It came out hungry. It was raw and untamed and wrong.
The sympathy nearly vanished at that. It wasnât her fault that he was like this. It wasnât her burden, and yet here she was, like some sacrifice to a hungry god. Her hands pressured against his chest, in an obvious strive to make him release her. His hands tightened.
âTomura, pleaseâŚâ Though he liked her voice, he didnât care for her pleas. It wasnât something he wanted to hear, because he was sure; if he tasted her begging just once, he was certain heâd find that he didnât actually mind, that he⌠would rather enjoy it instead.
âItâs either this or something highly unpleasant.â His eyes met hers.
She was shocked at how fast his mood changed; like a child when you take away one of their toys or refuse to play with them. The first tear fell at that, his hand rose from its position to wipe it away, before he planted it back on her hip, rubbing the wetness onto her skin. Feeling like a pioneer of some sorts, having never done anything like it before.
âYou know Iâve never bruised anyone.â His voice was different, wintry and empty. âNever made art on someone elseâs skin.â It only got darker. âNot without them turning to ashâŚâ His gaze fell back onto her hips, his fingers planting themselves more firmly into her. âIâve never beaten anyone to a pulp.â His eyes seemed to partly stare at what purple galaxy he could make form under his nails. âThey just up and disappear before I get the chance to.â On the other part he was staring into some unknown future; untapped desires, dark desires, violent desires. âIâve never slapped anyone.â She braced herself, expected him to spank her. âNever felt anyoneâs trembling skin.â She was positively trembling; she was quaking. âNever truly felt it.â He sounded desperate again. The icy tone was almost completely gone, turning yet again into something broken. âNot all of it.â It was only barely above a whisper. âDonât you see?â His eyes were wide, full of something akin to ambition; hope? âYou were made for me.â It wasnât hope, it was resolution.
He kept burying his nails into her hips, so much it started to hurt. She got the feeling he was waiting for her to make a move, perhaps he was struggling to do so himself? And when she finally felt herself wincing at the pain, with his blood-red eyes digging into her soul, much like his fingers on her sides, she reached out and kissed him. Whimpering and leaning in closer, yet his fingers only barely relented. Her hands; limp at her sides, made to circle around his neck, softly entangling in his silvery locks. In the briefest moment she wanted to pull at it, drag him away from her, but she didnât. She kept kissing, lightly sucking on his bottom lip. He moaned a strained groan, but his fingers only ceased their iron-grip when she pushed her chest flush against his. They then moved to her lower back, and then lower, finding their way down slowly, and squeezed at what they found down there, earning yet another whimper from her, although, when received by his mouth, much to his enjoyment, it sounded like a moan. He pulled her closer at that, grinding her against him. What she felt grind up against her, despite layers of fabric in between, scared her. His hands traveled again, this time upwards. Meeting her second shirt before there was no longer any shirt to meet, the cold air nipping at her exposed self.
As if shocked out of her state, she struggled again, but only for a moment. He was so fast. Before she even knew what was happening, she was firmly pinned beneath him, his hands locked around her wrists, tightening his hold until she gave him an apologetic look. He loosened them at that, but didnât let go, not yet. Eyes flickering between hers and her lips, his thumb rubbing over the soft skin where her veins were stored on her wrists. He went in slowly, wanting her to half-initiate it herself, when she did without protest, without him threatening her, he lost it. Crashing into her, kissing, licking, biting as though he were starved. His hands moved with him, stroking down her arms tenderly, revering at the softness of what was found beneath his fingertips. She didnât move her hands from above her head, didnât know where to place them if she did.
He went exploring with his mouth. Down her neck, nipping at her collarbone. She expected his tongue to be dry like the rest of him, it wasnât. Wet and sloppy; drooling was a better word for it. He left trails of himself down her chest. His hands, with steadily more and more added pressure, cupped one of her breasts, pinching and playing with the perky nib found there. His other hand got to work on disintegrating his pants, and then his shirt, and then nothing else was left to destroy. Except the bed, but he would break that in as well, in some other creative way. Her chest heaved more and more, frantically begging for more air; panicking. He decided to think of it as her wanting to get closer. He certainly was. Now that there was no more obstruction from his skin and hers, he struggled to not drop his entire weight onto her.
He wasnât exactly sure what he was supposed to do, but ended up not thinking about it too much, settling for doing what he felt like doing. His hands groping, messaging, rubbing each breast. His tongue fluttering at how her perky nipple tickled him when he sucked and flicked over it. Her hands sprung forward to push him off when he bit too hard, though he caught them easily, pinning them down to her sides, deciding to ignore the act and continue with his exploration.
She started crying now, trying to keep quiet as much as she could, yet he heard the sniffles and tiny hiccups. He let go of her wrists again, watching as she gripped the sheets tightly, trying to hold back. Staring at the ceiling, studying the smooth, white surface. Thinking how her life no longer belonged to her.
It was strange, he was more bothered by the fact that he didnât care whether she cried or not. Of course, he preferred it if she enjoyed herself too, but as long as he made the itchy feeling beneath his skin go away, he couldnât bring himself to feel guilty. As much as he wanted to be patient for her, he couldnât wait any longer. Grabbing himself and placing the tip of his cock at her entrance.
âTomura-â She protested, knowing how this couldnât possibly be pretty. She wasnât remotely wet, and he didnât really seem about to assist with any moisture himself. But he couldnât care more for her begging. Catching her wrists with one hand as he continued with what he was doing.
âI already told you-â He hissed, but she cut him off before he could threaten her a second time.
âLet me help.â Her voice was a soft kind of desperate. Heâd been too frenzied to realize that she wasnât really struggling or fighting him. Her large eyes found his in a feeble attempt to break through whatever craze he was in. Letting go of her wrists gave her the answer to her request. He sat up and she followed, crawling out from beneath him. About to grab her and place her back, he halted when he saw her coming back completely on her own volition. Her hands pressed softly against his chest, asking him to lower himself onto the pillows behind him. âLie down.â And, although they were worded like demands, they didnât sound that way whatsoever coming from her. He did what she said nonetheless, eyeing her every move, on high alert, ready to grab her if she were to run and lock herself in the bathroom. He was truly expecting anything else than her soft, warm and wet lips sliding down his cock in an almost loving fashion. Brows furrowed abruptly, mouth apart as he let out a long, shaky, gasping moan. Fingers stretching and curling into the sheets. Only barely keeping his wits with him to raise his pinky above the others, in order not to destroy whatever heaven he was in.
Sheâd placed herself between his thighs. On her knees with her ass raised up into the air, her head bowed and bobbing up and down on his shaft. Her hands supporting her on his stomach. Touching him. Like worship, he thought, looking down at her working hard to please him. With that thought simmering though his mind, he found the courage to ruffle his fingers through her hair. Refraining from adding any pressure, not assisting her in any way. He simply messaged and stroked and felt her eager movements on him. Heavenly sounds of sloshing and gurgling and slobbering and struggling filled the room as she continued going down, hollowing out her cheeks, running her tongue up and down, from side to side around him almost hungrily.
Toes curling into the sheets beneath him. Head thrown back onto the comfort of the pillows. He focused on the warm walls tightening around him, the wetness that slid up and down his cock, the tip of him pushing against her throat, begging to go deeper. He hadnât meant it⌠how his hips jerked in the slightest attempt to push himself further down her throat. It was far from a real thrust, but it was no less noticeable. She took the hint, choking him all the way down to the hilt, feeling him bend down her throat. Gagging on him, her knees shifted, tempted to lie down on her stomach, tears gathering in the corners of her eyes, but she held back and kept sucking, with him all the way down her throat, until she finally let herself breathe.
Mesmerized by her sudden performance, his eyes glued onto her, delighted to see a string of drool connecting her lips to his cock when she tore away. It didnât take long before she dove back in. Her one hand shifting from its place on his chest to fondle his balls, playing with them in her palm. Her tongue gliding up and down, licking the sides of him, giving each of his balls a suck and a kiss each time she went all the way down.
He was moaning and groaning fervently, his eyes nearly traveling all the way back into his skull. His toes cramping in their curled state. Being so lost in the moment. Before he even realized she had stopped, sheâd placed her knees on the outside of either side of him. Her hand continuing to stroke him, with her other hand playing and messaging her own clit, preparing herself. She hovered above him. He started feeling cold upon the lack of contact, but the chill was soon replaced as he pushed inside her folds.
They moaned simultaneously this time. His was closer to a growl, whereas hers was more of a whimper. She sat there for a second, trying to get used to his length and size inside her, trying to make it all feel more comfortable, before she started riding. Slow, deep, heavy riding, letting the cock inside her hit every spot that had her nearly mewling. Bucking her hips forward, rolling onto him, with her hands once again placed on his chest. She couldnât look at him, feeling so dirty and guilty for the building knot inside her stomach, the one that was now constantly teased by his large member inside her. She closed her eyes instead, not thinking of the circumstances, focusing on how insanely good it felt to be stretched out and filled to the very brink, despite not really wanting to think about it at all.
He, however, was staring at her as though it was the first time he ever truly saw anyone. He was so caught up in the moment, heâd forgotten about the deadly touch lingering in his fingers all together. So very spellbound by how her small, soft, delicate hands touched him, how her hair fell down her shoulders and tickled the skin on her breasts, how her brows had equally furrowed together as his own, how her lashes fluttered and lips parted even more with each beautiful moan that escaped them. He barely even registered how her hands picked his hands up and placed them on her hips for him so that he could rock her at his own tempo.
His grip didnât tighten as she had suspected them to, they didnât grope or poke as they did earlier. They hung loosely on top of her thighs, his thumbs stroking over her hips in encouragement of everything she was doing.
Placing her hands back on his stomach, she stroked up his chest and throat to lock her fingers in his silver hair. Her chest brushing up against his as she started kissing and sucking at his neck. Bracing herself by propping her feet up under her legs. Rocking her hips faster, no longer just rolling, but jumping up and down on her knees, all still rather graciously, done with somewhat expertise. He groaned at the sudden increase in tempo, his hands traveling on their own over her hips to grip at the plump flesh of her behind.
He knew he was much less experienced than her, but at least he knew what he wanted as well. Slowly getting over the surprise that had currently knocked him into shock and awe, he decided to gain more control. Especially now that he felt himself slip away and near his end. He pushed his thighs up, making her shift further up on him. She only moaned in response to him strapping his hands around her torso and lifting them both up into a sitting position, with her nuzzling perfectly in his lap. He ran his hands down her back and cupped her thighs, raising her up to tangle her legs around him. Now, sitting on his knees, he made to thrust into her and slap her back on his cock without her having any control over the new current of the motion.
He moaned savagely, feeling complete bliss befall him like a wave. She clung to him, actually clung to him for dear life, and it felt so fucking heavenly to feel her continue to nibble and suck and lick and kiss at the scars heâd created on his neck. With her arms wrapped around his back as though she couldnât bear to let go. It was too much. She was too much. He couldnât take it anymore. Couldnât last any longer. He dropped her down onto the bed again, his cock slipping out and into his grip as he pumped the last few pumps it took before he came. Ropes of milky liquid sprouted from his cock and fell over her stomach, before he collapsed back onto her. His cheek pressed against her chest. Hot and heavy breaths brushed across her stomach. Drool slipping down from his mouth and onto her breast.
She didnât dare move, despite feeling the wanton urge to touch herself until she as well peaked her orgasm. She remained still, or at least tried to, but it was hard when the fire within her stomach demanded attention. She tried to keep the quaking under wraps, but it was impossible. He hummed against her chest upon the feeling, it almost turned into a chuckle. He had clearly gained his confidence, acting all smug and cocky when he motioned his hand to rub at her clit. She jolted upon the touch, moaning and arching her back up against him. He kissed a quick trail down her stomach, everything sprawled out for him to see and touch as he so pleased. She was nearly begging when his eyes met hers. âLet me help you.â It was mockingly sweet, but she found she quite liked the sound of it. His thumb rubbing circles upon the sensitive spot, as he lowered his mouth to lick between the folds. She moaned brazenly, her fingers again tousling into his hair. He propped her one leg up over his shoulder, gaining more access.
She felt the pulsating, roaring, drooling sensation build and build until it nearly hurt, her hips lolling into him between her legs. His tongue running and delving into her, his teeth lightly and teasingly nipping at the tender flesh. Sucking until she let out that last earthshattering moan, her body convulsing in spasms and violent quakes. He gave a couple more licks to her clit and felt her panic beneath him, much to his enjoyment. He didnât torture her oversensitivity for too long, before he climbed back up and nuzzled into her neck. Happy when he felt her fingers stroking his head again; affectionately.
No more words were exchanged. The presence of night laid thickly inside the room. The both of them unable to keep their lids open, not really fighting of the sleep that soon overwhelmed them either. Skin to skin. Heartbeat to heartbeat. They fell asleep soundly. And when Tomura woke up the next day, their limbs tangled together in one comfortable knot, he felt as though it might have been the very first time he actually felt rested.
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Here's the sad pining sasuke i wrote last night... it's not finished and who knows when/if i'll finish it. university AU, not edited and there's some naru//hina and sasuke//OC bc i couldn't think of a canon character that fit. The texting part is also weird bc i wrote it all very fast lol. i'm sharing bc why not *shrugs*
xxx
It hurts, to look at them.
Sasuke canât help himself. Naruto is his best friend, after all, and heâs not yet so desperate that heâll avoid him. Itâs worse, somehow, that he canât even dislike her.
Sheâs good for him, he thinks, when heâs feeling particularly self-deprecating. Her hair is dark and her skin pale as porcelain, and thatâs where the similarities end between him and Hinata.
Sweet, and so patient with Naruto. Soft-spoken, but not a pushover. Impeccably dressed, always, no make-up needed to outshine any girl beside her. A picture perfect couple, thatâs what they are. It wouldnât be so bad if he didnât have to watch it unfold from the front row.
How her shyness turned to surety, how her eyes would catch on Naruto and look away before, but now â now she looks at him like he belongs to her, soft smile on her plump lips.
Sasuke canât even hate her, and he wishes he could.
Itâs not her fault that Sasuke is the way he is. She doesnât know, isnât doing it on purpose. And yet, thereâs a stab to Sasukeâs chest every time she takes his hand, every time Naruto tucks her silky hair behind her perfect ear.
Naruto will kiss her cheek and Sasuke will be looking, always looking. His face devoid of emotion, his voice carefully neutral. He canât be mean to Narutoâs girlfriend, though he wishes he could. Maybe if Naruto got mad at him and pushed him away, Sasuke would be free to move on.
Itâs more likely that Sasuke would apologize and do better, and heâd rather spare himself the embarrassment.
Sometimes he imagines that Hinata will find out, that sheâll start treating him with suspicion, watch his every move with her wide eyes. Feel threatened by him. But Sasuke is no threat. Heâs tired and hurting, but heâs not a homewrecker. It would be a lot easier if Naruto didnât keep nudging him in Sakuraâs direction.
Itâs not Sakuraâs fault, either. Sheâs dreaming of something she canât have, and the similarities make him sick to his stomach.
Sometimes he thinks heâll date her, live the lie to the fullest. Give her what she wants, since heâs doomed anyway. He doubts heâd last long, though. If he had even the slightest bit of interest in women â but when he looks at her, thereâs just no attraction. Heâs not sure how no oneâs noticed yet. Itâs not like heâs that good of an actor. He thinks the only reason no oneâs figured it out is because heâs so deep in the closet, and theyâre all so heterosexual. Why would they suspect heâs gay? It suits them better if he isnât.
âOh, I didnât realize it was that late already,â Sakura says beside him, breaking him out of his thoughts.
The bar is lively around them, but the music is at a bearable noise level. Sheâs looking at her phone, frowning. On the other side of the small table, Naruto pouts.
âItâs not late!â he objects, the beer in his glass sloshing around as he waves his hands around. âWe just got here!â
âWeâve been here for three hours, I think,â Hinata says, leaning her cheek on his shoulder.
Sasuke wonders how she manages, the way he moves around so much. Perhaps her body is as soft as her voice, easily following him.
âI told you I have to get up early tomorrow.â Sakura sighs, irritated. She fishes her bag up from the floor, putting her phone inside it. âI really have to get going.â
âIâll walk you to the station,â Sasuke offers. Not because he particularly wants to, but heâs not in the mood to subject himself to third-wheeling Naruto and Hinata. âI should get going, anyway.â
âWhat?â Naruto looks disappointed, more disappointed than when Sakura announced her departure. âI thought you were free tomorrow.â
Rolling his eyes, Sasuke swallows down the last of his drink.
âDoesnât mean I want to stay up all night,â he counters with, easing out of the booth. âI still have to study.â
âYou study too much,â Naruto mutters, giving Hinata a smile like an afterthought when she squeezes his arm.
âMaybe if you studied at all you wouldnât need to panic before every exam,â Sakura nags at him, coming around the table to wait next to Sasuke. âSome of us care about our grades.â
âNerds.â At least Naruto looks a little happier, and Sasuke hates to think that itâs because he thinks anythingâs going to happen between him and Sakura. âDonât get lost, you two!â
They say their goodbyes, and Sasuke tries to pretend he doesnât notice how Sakuraâs cheeks fill with color when they step outside the bar. Sheâs put a jacket on, but Sasukeâs fine in his sweater. Itâs not cold enough that her blush can be blamed on the weather.
âThanks for walking me,â she says, hefting her bag higher up her shoulder. Sheâd joined them straight from the library, researching her latest paper. âYou didnât have to.â
âItâs fine,â he tells her, hands tucked into his sleeves.
He doesnât want to run the risk of her attempting to reach for his hand. As much as he dislikes her attention, itâs safer if she thinks heâs just playing hard to get. He wonât have to explain, then, why he hasnât outright told her to give up. He should, he knows. But Naruto would just nudge him towards some other girl, would bother him about it until Sasuke started going on actual dates. Itâs touching, how worried he is over Sasuke potentially being lonely.
Too bad Naruto himself is the cause of it.
âYouâre not doing anything tomorrow, then?â Sakura asks, stepping aside as they meet a group of half-drunk businessmen. âIâm working until fiveâŚâ
It would be so easy to invite her out. To suggest a movie, or trying out that new cafĂŠ near campus. To watch her eyes light up with hope, watch her mouth stretch into an excited smile.
âI really do need to study,â he says. âAnd Iâm almost out of clean clothes.â
None of it is a lie, technically. Heâs just not sure heâll actually do either of those things tomorrow.
âOh.â
She tries to hide her disappointment, and Sasuke is an expert by now at pretending he doesnât notice. They walk the rest of the way in silence, waving a quick goodbye at the ticket gates as Sakuraâs train is due to arrive in just two minutes. Sasuke buys a drink from a vending machine and takes small sips as he waits for his own, mindlessly scrolling through social media. He almost ignores the text Naruto sends.
> Wanna hang out tomorrow?
He contemplates it. On the one hand, yes, of course he wants to. On the other, having an entire day to himself has its appeal.
> Iâll be busy
> Ooh, with sakura?
The train arrives, and Sasuke snags a seat next to a couple too caught up with each other to pay attention to him.
> No
> Got studying and laundry to do
The reply is instant.
> Thatâs too boring!!! Iâm coming over for lunch
> Whatever
He pockets his phone, and stares down at the bottle in his hands for the rest of the trip. It doesnât help against the warmth rising in his chest. At least he doesnât do this to Sakura â doesnât invite himself into her space, ignorant of her feelings. It doesnât make him feel better.
xxx
Sasuke doesnât have a lot of friends. Heâs got Naruto, and then thereâs his small group of friends from high school. Naruto is the only one who still lives nearby. Rather, Sasuke had ended up staying in Konoha like him. Itâs a big enough city that most of his classmates are strangers, although slightly less so in their second year. He stayed with his parents for his first year, but when one of his cousins moved abroad for work he took the opportunity to stay at her apartment instead. Itâs closer to his university, and if he, potentially, wanted to bring a guy home then no one would know.
He doesnât think his parents would mind, but there wouldnât be any privacy. He relishes in it, and Naruto does, too.
âI should just move in with you,â Naruto groans, spread out on his couch. âYou wouldnât believe how annoying my mom was this morning.â
âI think I can believe it,â Sasuke tells him, cleaning up after their lunch. âAnd just to be clear, Iâve never said youâd be welcome to live here.â
âStingy,â Naruto grumbles. âHow long is your cousin gone, anyway?â
Shrugging, Sasuke dries off the counter just for something to do with his hands.
âA year at least. Weâll see. So itâs not like Iâll be living here forever.â
âBut still!â
âWhere would you even sleep?â
Naruto happily pats the couch. When Sasuke scowls at him, he simply grins.
âCome on,â Naruto says. âI want to watch a movie.â
âI wasnât lying when I said I need to study.â
Still, he gives in too easily. Naruto lifts his legs to give him room, dumping them all over Sasukeâs lap once he sits down. Itâs things like this that makes Sasukeâs heart refuse to give up. He leans his elbow on the back of the couch, cheekbone pressed to his closed fist. He doesnât say anything when Naruto picks a drama at random, letting him comment on the plot as much as he wants. Watching movies with Naruto is certainly never quiet, and he winces as Naruto kicks his legs as he shouts his anger at the main character.
When the movie ends, Naruto doesnât start a new one. Instead he chews on his bottom lip, playing with the remote. Sasuke considers getting up to use the toilet, maybe suggesting going to the corner store for snacks, but then Naruto clears his throat suspiciously.
âWhat?â he asks, irritated when Naruto takes his time.
âSo, how are things going with Sakura?â
He resists the urge to pinch his nose. He still lets out a heavy breath, not quite a sigh but close enough that Naruto frowns.
âI mean,â Naruto continues, âyou could just ask her out. Sheâs definitely going to say yes.â
Sasuke shifts, uncomfortable. Narutoâs legs are still on top of his. His socks have little frogs on them.
âIâve told you Iâm not really into the idea of a relationship right now.â
âUh-huh.â Naruto rolls his eyes, pushing himself up and finally removing his legs, crossing them at the ankles instead. âSounds like excuses to me.â
âJust drop it, Naruto.â
âBut if you get together things will be so much easier,â Naruto insists, poking at his arm. âWe can go on double dates, and stuff.â
Sending him a glare, Sasuke pulls a leg up to his chest. It wonât prevent Naruto if he decides to get comfy on his lap again, but it might make him think twice at least. Narutoâs only wearing shorts, and all that naked skin isnât good for his heart. Itâs definitely too cold for it, but Narutoâs never been one to care about the weather.
âWe already go places together.â
âYeah, but itâs not the same!â
Sasuke pinches his lips, looking away. If heâs not careful, those large blue eyes will convince him to cave in, and then heâll find himself with a girlfriend. He does a lot for Naruto, but there are limits.
âIâm not going to ask her out,â he mutters, knowing it will only lead to more questioning.
Sure enough, Naruto makes a noise of protest.
âBut you havenât rejected her either!â
âShe hasnât asked me out either.â
âItâs obvious she likes you.â
âThatâs her problem.â
Naruto kicks at his thigh, using his heel. He looks properly annoyed now, as if Sasuke is a petulant child, refusing to do whatâs best for him.
âIf you got over yourself for a minute, youâd realize what a catch she is!â
He doesnât reply. Let Naruto think heâs just stubborn, or an asshole, or whatever. Let him think Sasukeâs just stringing her along, keeping her attention while refusing to commit. Itâs better than the alternative.
âLeave it, Naruto,â he warns, getting up and moving to the kitchen. âWeâre not talking about this.â
At least Naruto doesnât follow him, though it doesnât make much of a difference. The apartment is small, no wall separating the kitchen from the living room. He searches through his cabinets, locating a forgotten bag of wasabi peas. He throws them at Narutoâs head.
âEat these and shut up,â he says.
To his relief, Naruto does as told.
xxx
He picks up the call from Karin half-distracted, mind still stuck on a question for tomorrowâs seminar. As usual, she doesnât wait for him to say hi, making her wince with the volume of her voice.
âDo you have any idea how tiring it is to listen to Naruto whine about you?â she starts with, the background noise suggesting sheâs outdoors. âCanât you just tell him youâre gay and put me out of my misery.â
âNo thanks.â He drops his pen on his desk, rubbing at his eyes. He regrets not going to the university library, at least then he wouldnât have been able to pick up the call. âWas that all? Iâm kind of busy.â
âYou know, this is exactly why I moved away,â she continues, ignoring him. âI thought I could get away from all the high school-level drama. Just get yourself a boyfriend, and go on those stupid double dates my cousin is so desperately yearning for. How hard can it be?!â
He can feel a headache incoming, and he rubs his fingertips between his brows. Naruto had sulked for hours the day before, until Sasuke got sick of it and threw him out. It was definitely backhanded of him to call Karin and complain.
âIf you really wanted to be left out of it, why are you calling me? Thatâs the opposite of not getting involved.â
âBecause itâs really painful and Iâm morally obligated as the only person with functional brain cells to tell you to move on. Juugoâs too nice to say it and Suigetsu would give you terrible advice and sit back and watch. Iâm being nicer to you than you deserve.â
âBy telling me to move on,â Sasuke deadpans, wondering why his parents couldnât have settled down somewhere else.
âWell, someone has to do it! Clearly Iâm the gay cousin in the family, so youâre screwed. Might as well get over it and get laid.â
âI really hate you sometimes, you know that?â
She huffs at him, traffic and broken conversations filtering through the phone. Thereâs the jingle of a shopâs door, and the noise cuts off.
âYour pining is just getting sad,â she eventually replies, distractedly. âTrust me, I know my cousin. Heâs not worth it.â
Something unpleasant churns in Sasukeâs stomach. He wants to argue with her that he is worth it, but he doesnât want to land himself in an hour-long lecture if he can help it. He rolls his neck, making a face. Sheâs got a point, but he doesnât enjoy hearing it. His life would be a lot simpler if he could find someone who made him forget about Naruto. Heâs just not sure itâs fair to expect someone to instantly replace a lifetime of friendship.
âI donât think I should have to come out just because Naruto irritates you,â is what he says instead, leaning back in his chair. âWhat if my parents find out and disown me? You want to be responsible for that?â
âSasuke,â she sighs, âyour brother is literally gay and your parents love his boyfriend.â
âSo?â
âStop. Making. Excuses.â
He bites his cheek, holding back a denial. Heâs not worried about his parents, heâs worried about Narutoâs reaction. That things will change between them. That heâll think Sasuke has feelings for him, which would be correct but would also ruin absolutely everything.
âIâll⌠consider it,â he concedes, after a long silence, during which Karin has finished buying whatever it was she needed.
âReally? Because Iâm going to hold you to that.â
He sighs.
âNext time Iâm not picking up when you call me.â
xxx
A few weeks pass, and not much changes. Naruto still takes up too much space in his head and life, Sakura continues to drop hints but refuses to make the first move, and Hinata is still as lovely as ever. She doesnât seem to have much of a personality other than being Narutoâs girlfriend, but to be fair Sasuke hasnât precisely paid attention or tried to get to know her. Narutoâs birthday is drawing closer, and he canât bring himself to do anything to break the status quo before then.
Heâs been considering it, though. It would be a relief to stop pretending. He canât imagine himself finding a boyfriend, though, because where would he even meet someone? Itâs too awkward to use a dating app, and heâs not precisely social. He doesnât have any experience, either, if you donât count those childish games they played sometimes when they were younger. And that one time Naruto kissed him by accident when they were twelve.
Because of this, heâs really not expecting it when one day in class, just as the lecture ends, his eyes fall on the messenger bag that the guy next to him has just finished packing. Thereâs a rainbow pin on it, and Sasuke blurts out his question before he can stop to think about it.
âAre you gay?â
He only lifts his eyes from the pin when the surprised silence stretches out a bit too long. Their eyes meet, and the other boy is staring at him like heâs not sure how to react.
âUh,â he says eventually, fingers clenching around the bagâs strap. âI mean, yes? But if youâre thinking about the pin itâs just a regular rainbowâŚâ
He trails off, and Sasuke feels his cheeks heat up a bit. He canât believe he just asked, when he himself has gone to such lengths to make sure no one made such assumptions about him.
âSorry,â he apologizes. âI shouldnât have asked.â
âItâs fine.â
Maybe he should know the guyâs name, but he doesnât. Heâs pretty short, hair dyed a light brown and glasses perched on his nose. Cute, but Sasukeâs not sure heâs his type. Heâs not sure he has a type, other than Naruto.
âAre you gay?â the guy asks him, eyebrows rising above the frame of his glasses.
Sasuke licks his lips. He could say no, but to what end?
âI am,â he forces out, breathing in a deep breath.
âOh.â Thereâs red color blooming on the other boyâs face, his eyes flickering to the side for a moment. âI was kind of hoping, but, um⌠I mean, hoping sounds weird! Sorry, I just wasnât expecting you to ask outright.â
When Sasuke stands up, he realizes heâs almost a head taller than him.
âIâm Sasuke,â he offers, clicking his laptop shut and slowly sliding it into his bag.
âI know. I mean! Iâm Hiroshi. Nice to meet you.â
Sasuke nods, and awkwardly turns to leave. Hiroshi stops him with a hand to his arm, though, and Sasuke swallows nervously as the turns back. Heâs not interested in Hiroshi, not really, but heâs never been asked out by a boy before and the novelty of the situation is getting to him.
âDo you, um, are you busy right now? We could have lunch?â
He weighs the pros and cons in his mind. As nervous as Hiroshi looks, thereâs a determined glint in his eyes that sways Sasuke over.
âOkay,â he says, and just like that heâs doing what Karin told him to do.
Heâs trying, at least.
xxx
Over the course of a week, including having coffee together and a visit to the aquarium, Sasuke learns a lot about Hiroshi. Or Hiro, as he likes his friends to call him. They donât have too much in common, but theyâre both gay and studying agricultural economics. Once Hiro gets over his initial shyness, Sasuke finds heâs got a great sense of humor and wonât hesitate to poke fun at him.
Itâs a breath of relief, to spend time with someone who doesnât know him from before. He didnât realize how much he needed it â just being able to be himself, without constantly keeping himself in check.
He canât fool himself to think itâs enough to replace Naruto, but maybe he doesnât need to replace him. Maybe itâs enough that Hiro seems to like him. He doesnât really think about it, when he invites Hiro over on a Saturday night, after theyâd had dinner at a nice udon place.
âOh, wow,â Hiro says as he steps into Sasukeâs apartment, making an impressed face. âNice place.â
âItâs my cousinâs, so no need to sound so impressed.â
Hiro rolls his eyes, taking off his shoes and jacket and following Sasuke inside.
âAlright, Iâll try to keep it in,â he teases, sitting on the couch when Sasuke motions him towards it. âBut it must be nice, to have your own place like this. The dorms are fine, but I canât exactly bring guys there.â
Humming his agreement, Sasuke grabs two cans of soda from the fridge, handing one of them to Hiro when he sinks down on the couch next to him.
âWant to watch something?â
Hiro nods, and Sasuke brings the TV to life. Heâs not expecting anything to happen â theyâve only known each other a week. Heâs still coming to terms with having a friend other than Karin he can talk to like this, and she doesnât really count since there was never the potential for anything to happen between them. Hiro is⌠potentially someone Sasuke could date. At least thereâs nothing wrong with him, not yet, and Sasukeâs easing himself into the idea of getting to know him better.
He finds a movie at random, some sci-fi that doesnât look terrible. The movie turns into background noise as they talk, Hiroâs eyes watching his face more than the screen. Itâs nice, in a new, exhilarating way, to have a guyâs attention on him like this. Heâs not sure what to do with it. When Hiro moves closer, knee touching Sasukeâs thigh, hand resting on the back of the couch and occasionally touching his neck, Sasuke canât find it in him to move away.
It feels like a secret, shared between the two of them. He thinks of Naruto for a long moment, allows himself the pain lacing through his chest as he imagines light brown hair replaced with blond, dark eyes replaced with blue. Then, he pushes it away, tells himself he can have this. The emotions are only his own.
Itâs all happening too fast when Hiro grows bold, leaning in to press their mouths together, but he doesnât care. Itâs no oneâs business if he spends the evening on his couch with a boy in his lap, a boy who isnât his best friend.
The pain is easier to swallow if he tells himself that heâs the only one hurt.
#at this point i'm just writing whatever's in my head#something is better than nothing#i hate tumblr's formatting
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Showers and Cuddles and Blood, Oh My! | The Mikaelson Boys
Hey lovelies! Coming at you with another Mikaelson boys sharing fic because the last one seemed to go over well! I'll probably continue on that route if the response stays the same. I mean, heck, if I can have all three I'll take all three so why not! Hope y'all enjoy! Stay tuned for more, I have some juicy stuff in the works ;) Much love <3
Description: Elijah and Klaus leave Y/n with Kol for the weekend while they're out hunting enemies, all is well until they return, scared and hurt. Y/n works her magic Y/n powers and makes it all better. Happy ending yay!
Pairing: The Mikaelson Boys x Fem!Reader, leaned in Klaus' favor
Warnings: THIS IS AN 18+ ONLY FIC!!! Angst-y, mentions of blood and battle, Smut (not full, just foreplay things)
Word count: 3909
Tags: FLUFF, angst-ish, smut
(Photos not mine but the mood board is :) )
âKol, pass the popcorn,â you yell at him from across the living room without dragging your eyes from the television screen, not willing to miss a second of The Bachelor just because heâs hogging the snacks.
Heâs had the bowl in his lap for the vast majority of the show, slowly munching away on the goodies you had made. If he was on the couch with you there wouldn't be a problem, you could just scoot over and you wouldnât have to look away, but heâs on an armchair across the room. To be fair, you had made him sit there. You didnât want him to distract you. Kolâs attention span is worse than a kindergarteners and when he gets bored he gets touchy. Literally. One caress from Kol would pull all your attention, a risk you were not willing to take.
You can feel his gaze on the side of your face but you remain strong, âwhy donât you come get it, huh princess? Isnât it lonely over there?â
Heâs bored and trying to make you cave. His words hit hard in the pit of your stomach and your thighs clench. Your cheeks flame but you refuse to pull your eyes from the scuba date this bachelor has taken his date on. You canât remember her name. Sheâs blonde and tall, but so are all the others girls on the show. Youâre only a couple episodes in so youâre yet to really lock down the details. To be honest, you donât ever really remember the names until the last couple episodes.
You can hear him start crunching again and you swear you see red for a second, âKol, damnit, give me the popcorn. Now!â
All he does is laugh, pushing you over the edge. One second you're on the couch and the next youâre across the room, ripping the bowl from his loose grip. You donât eat it, though, you just resist the urge to throw it across the room before setting it on the coffee table. His face is smug as you stand in front of him, simmering with something hot. Itâs not rage though and that pisses you off. He won and he knows it.
He leans forward, pulling you by your hips towards him, a sultry smirk on his face, âcome here.â
He scoops you onto his lap, pulling your mouth to his and wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You sigh into his mouth, your legs dangling over the edge of the chair. Your hands find his hair and tug gently at the roots. You can feel him smile against your lips.
âItâs impossible to watch anything with you in the same room,â you mumble as his lips trace your neck, stifling a traitorous moan, âthis is the third time I've attempted this episode.â
âIâm sorry,â no heâs not, âI just missed you.â
How he could miss you even slightly right now you have no idea. Elijah and Klaus have been gone for a few days, off hunting an enemy they refused to tell you about, leaving you to the youngest Miakelsonâs wills for the entire weekend. To say youâve left his sight for even a few minutes would be lying. Not that you didnât soak up every second of time with him. Itâs not everyday you get to be alone with one of them without feeling bad about ignoring the others. Itâs a tricky situation.
His hands grip the edge of your tee, ready to pull it off, âyouâve had me to yourself for three days. An hour without touching me will not kill you, Kol.â
Even as you say it you cant help but attach you lips to his neck, leaving a few small kisses before sucking harshly at the base of his throat. His hand grips your hip and you know that if you were still a human it would have left bruises. The other wraps in your hair, pushing you against him a little bit harder.
âAh, fuck, yes it will, princess.â
He starts lifting your shirt when the front door opens. Heavy footsteps land in the front hall and the smell of mud and something sharp hits your nose. You pull back from Kol slightly and he doesnât protest, just as intent on listening.
âI, fuck,â you hear Klaus hiss from the near the door, causing your heartbeat to spike, âIâm not healing as fast as I should be.â
As fast as it had spiked, your heart stops, âitâs the wolfsbane, she knew it would slow the process.â
You look into Kolâs eyes, your blood running cold, a feeling you had forgotten existed. As soon as he nods youâre flying out of the den and into the front hall where you stop dead in your tracks. There you find Elijah. At least, you think itâs Elijah. Itâs hard to tell who it is by the sheer amount of mud caked onto their body. Head to toe, mingled with something bright red. You already know what it is. Wherever there isn't mud on his body thereâs blood, still wet in some places. You can smell the metallic tinge in the air and your heart breaks.
Whatâs worse is his face. His eyes look shattered. Like all the life has been drained from them. Your chest squeezes painfully at the sight. Your Elijah, your rock, ready to crumble. His hands shake at his sides. He just stands there, looking at you like youâre about to disappear. Klaus is no where to be seen.
âY/n,â Elijah falls to his knees, the thud echoing through the silent house, âbaby.â
His voice is small and, if itâs even possible, scared. In less than a second youâre in front of him, hugging him impossibly tight to your stomach. His arms wrap around your waist as he clings to you desperately. Heâs trembling in your arms. You feel like someoneâs hand is wrapped around your heart, crushing it. You move to sit down, pulling him against your chest.
âEli, what happened honey?â Your hands bury themselves in his hair and you wish for his sake that it was under the same circumstances as it was with Kol.
âThere were too many, Y/n, they must have had close to a hundred men,â he pulls you onto his knees, burying his face in your neck, âthey weakened us before they attacked. I donât know how. Magic, maybe. Sealed off the land so we couldnât get out. They just kept coming, Iâve never seen anything like it. Even after their hearts were out they kept coming.â
For a man who has seen the very worst that war has had to offer, he speaks like he canât comprehend the battle he was in. Like all the wars before this one, even combined, were nothing compared to what he just witnessed. His words make you cry for him. They make you angry like youâve never been before. You clutch him tighter to you, placing a kiss to his matted hair. His relieved sigh brings some comfort but not enough to make this all better.
âI was so scared, baby,â he chokes on his words, his voice dripping with cold relief, âI thought I was never going to see you again.â
You sob at his words, burying your face against his head. Somehow, beneath all the mud and blood, there's still a hint of Elijah. This faint pine scent that makes you crumble against him and hold on for dear life.
âThey did something to Klaus,â your heart drops further in your stomach, âthey injected him with something. I think it was wolfsbane but I donât think thatâs all. Heâs not healing as fast as he normally does.â
You gasp at his words, âElijah?â
He shifts, pulling back slightly. There are tracks on his cheeks, glimpses of skin, where he had been crying. You reach to wipe some of the dirt from his face, letting your own tears flow freely. He turns his head into your hand, closing his eyes for a moment and kissing your palm. For the first time since he got home you see him smile slightly.
âHe needs you, baby,â always the noble one, your Elijah.
You look at him, reluctant to leave him like this, âElijah I-â
His warm lips cut you off. You revel in his taste. It hasnât changed and for that youâre eternally grateful. He kisses you slowly, his hands cradling your face carefully. You savour every second his lips are on yours, memorizing every line and curve. You could stay in this moment for a life time.
But Klaus needs you, too.
âGo, I'll see you soon,â he places one last kiss to your lips, smirking slightly, âbesides, I really need a shower.â
You run your hand over his hair one last time, pulling out of his hold and making your way up the stairs to Klausâ room. Any of the relief you had felt from Elijah disappears as fast as it had come. There are muddy boot prints leading to his door, his jacket, sopping and caked in grime, dropped on the floor. His flannel, less caked in mud and more so in blood, piled a few feet away from the jacket. It brings tears to your eyes once more. The part that makes your heart stop, though, is the scent. You can smell the blood before you're even halfway down the hall, hot and tangy.
A sharp bang sounds from inside his room, followed by a pained groan. You knock lightly on the door, unsure of whether or not to just walk in.
âGo away, Elijah,â he sounds angry but his voice lacks itâs usual passion.
âItâs not Elijah. Itâs me, Klaus, itâs Y/n,â your voice is quiet but you know he can hear you.
He pauses for a moment and your chest constricts, wanting nothing but to hold him and make it all better.
Then you hear it, heâs crying, âY/n?â
As soon as he says your name, sobs your name, youâre through the door. At the sight of him, as it was with Elijah, the wind is knocked from your lungs. Heâs on his knees, a ghostly parallel to his brother, but heâs bleeding. He is coated in blood from head to toe. His arms got the worst of it, soaked to his elbows like a pair of crimson gloves. There are slices all the way down his torso, deep ones. His head rests on his hands, his shoulders shaking furiously from the cries wracking his body. Klaus has never been small but right now, curled on his bedroom floor, he looks undeniably smaller.
âOh, baby,â your voice is a hoarse whisper and he looks up at you with tortured eyes, his mouth falling open.
You run to him, falling to your knees before him, letting him pull you against his chest. His skin is hot, working in overdrive to heal the cuts. You rest your face in the crook of his neck, kissing his skin softly. Your arms wrap around his chest, trying to avoid his wounds but itâs impossible. Theyâre everywhere.
He clutches you tightly, his body shaking uncontrollably, âit was mother, she turned these hybrids into something else. Dark magic or something. They were dead but they kept coming.â
When he pulls away slightly to glimpse at your eyes, your breath catches in your throat. Up close you see them, bites. All over his arms and chest. Huge hunks of skin torn from parts of his body. Thankfully, they appear to be healing but not nearly fast enough for your liking. Your eyes well up again and you let the tears drop with his. Heâs terrified. Your soldier is painfully afraid and it breaks your heart for the millionth time today.
âKlaus, what can I do, you need to tell me what to do sweetheart,â your hands cup his face, trying to wipe the droplets but they keep coming.
He sighs into your touch, his shoulders relaxing slightly, âjust stay with me for a little while. Please, love? Donât leave.â
Your heart aches for him thinking he even needs to ask, âof course I wonât. Iâm not going anywhere. Itâs just you and me, darling.â
He nods, standing on shakey legs. You follow suit, letting him pull you into a proper hug. Now that heâs on two legs, he towers over you, his face pushed into your hair, breathing deeply. After what feels like hours, he stops shaking. You just stand there, your arms tied around his waist, rubbing circles on his back. He still feels strong under your touch. Heâs still your Klaus. Just a little bit worse from the wear.
âCome on, letâs get you cleaned up, yeah?â
You run your hand over his face before grabbing his hand and pulling him with you to his attached bathroom. He follows without protest, moving his hands to your hips as you lead him towards the glassed in shower. You let him go for just a second while you start the shower which elicits a groan of protest. You turn the dial to a gloriously warm stream before going back to the muddy blonde. Your muddy blonde.
You reach up, drawing his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. He dips into your touch, pulling away to lean his head on your shoulder. You reach for the button of his jeans, popping it open with both hands. He places a soft kiss to your shoulder, just as you had earlier. Youâre pushing him to keep touching you. It will ground him. You tug the zipper down before stepping away.
You give him a millimeter smile and revel in the way that, despite everything heâs been through, his eyes still dance over your figure when you pull the tee over your head. Your chest swells in pride that you can make him forget some of the pain and let it give way to love. You step out of your leggings next, letting them pool at your feet. His eyes roam every dip and curve of your body, igniting some of the fire that has been missing.
Standing in front of him, youâre left in nothing but your black bra and matching panties. He pushes his own jeans down his legs, leaving them as he walks back to you, twirling you so your back is to his chest. Itâs working. His hands on your back make you shiver. His fingers trace your spine lightly, trailing up until they stop at your bra clasp. His lips land on the back of your neck, pushing your hair to the side as he nips lightly at the skin. His fingers skillfully undo your bra, pushing the straps down your arms until it falls, joining the growing pile of clothes at your feet.
His arms circle around you, pulling you flush against his hot chest, âso beautiful, love.â
You release the breath that you didnât know you were holding at the sound of his voice. He sounds better, a little more Klaus like. A little more in control. His hands are flat on your stomach, dragging down you abdomen. His thumbs hook in your panties as he pulls them down your legs. They, too, join the pile at your feet. He grips your hips with strong hands, pressing another kiss to your shoulder, pulling your skin back into his mouth and biting down harder with blunt teeth.
You spin in his arms, drawing his face down to yours once more, âCome on, darling, waterâs getting cold.
You press a quick kiss to his parted lips before scampering into the shower, a cheeky grin plastered on your face. He wastes no time in pushing the boxers down his legs and joining you under the warm water. He hisses quietly when the water hits the bites, closing his eyes. You pull him into your arms for a moment, allowing him to adjust to the pain. You canât imagine what heâs going through right now.
When he opens his eyes again, you grab a washcloth thatâs hanging idily to the side and a half empty bottle of soap. The label says ocean breeze and you canât help but giggle. You lather the soap, which, for the record, actually smells pretty good, over the cloth before bringing one of his arms to your chest. Thatâs where you start, rubbing the material gently over his stained fingers, watching the stream of water pool deep red at your feet before swirling down the drain.
When you finish with his first arm, you move to the next. Over his bicep, down his forearm, caressing his wrist and palm like you had the other. He sighs when you place a kiss to his knuckles, gently putting his arm back by his side. Somewhere between his left arm and his right he had let his head fall back against the shower wall. Your heart soars to see him finally start to relax.
You move next to his chest, beginning at his collar bone. You run the cloth over the nastiest bite, one of the only ones still left healing. Klaus grips your waist when you do, clenching his jaw tightly.
âI know hun,â you coo to him, kissing his tensed face, âI need to do it, though. Itâs almost over.â
He doesnât answer, not verbally at least. He just wraps his arm around your shoulder, placing a kiss to the side of your head and letting you continue. You do your best to rub the dirt away quickly before leaving it be. You move down his chest, over his defined muscles, swirling the cloth over his skin lightly, drawing some quiet groans from his lips. They arenât pained this time, however. They're something else. More familiar. Hotter.
You run the cloth down his toned stomach, savouring every crevice and dip, drowning in the praises that are flowing louder from his mouth. Heat grows rapidly in the pit of your stomach and before you know it youâre holding back your own sounds. Your head falls against his chest, his hand wrapped in your sopping hair, as you pass his belly button.
âFuck,â he yanks your head up, crushing his mouth against yours deliciously.
The cloth falls from your hands, replaced with his shoulders which your grip furiously when he flips you around, pushing your back against the tiled wall. His mouth moves to your neck, sucking harshly and drawing the first moan from your lips. His fingers draw down your shoulders, tracing the curve of your breasts, his thumbs rolling over your nipples, pulling a gasp from your mouth.
âKlaus,â youâre panting and heâs hardly touched you, âthis is supposed to be about you.â
âTrust me, love, it is,â he says before placing his mouth over one of your breasts.
Your hand flies to hair, holding his head against you, the other clutching desperately at the shower wall behind you. His hands find your hips, holding you against the wall beautifully. He bites down lightly on your nipple before running his tongue over it soothingly. Your whole body feels like itâs on fire, everywhere he touches you white hot. His blue eyes find yours through the water streaming around you, shining brilliantly for the first time since you found him.
His hand dips down, trailing fire down your stomach, until his fingers swipe over your clit once, then itâs lightening. His eyes are on you, watching every little movement you make. He does it again, drawing closer to your core, his thumb circling your most sensitive part. He stands up fully again, his lips finding your ear, tugging it between his teeth.
âGod, Klaus,â youâre a mess at his touch, âplease.â
He smirks at you, pausing his actions, his voice a husky whisper against your skin, âwhat should I do, love? Tell me. Shall I take my time or finish this now?â
Heâs back. This is the Klaus that youâre used to. Fully self-aware and dominant. Strong. Above all though, heâs undeniably yours and yours alone.
âI- Klaus,â you tug his hair, pulling to try and regain a semblance of control, âI need you.â
He kisses your earlobe once more, his voice low and sultry, âas you wish, darling.â
* * * * *
What feels like hours later you emerge from the shower, dripping and sensitive but beyond happy, a pleased Klaus trailing close behind you. His hands refuse to leave your body as you lead him into his bedroom. There he opens his dresser, pulling out a black t-shirt that will most definitely swallow you and a pair of boxers and handing them to you before choosing a pair of grey sweatpants for himself. You pull his shirt over your still wet hair, revelling in his scent. You follow it with his boxers, fully embraced in all things Klaus.
âNow that is a sight that will never get old, love,â Klausâ breath tickles the back of your neck as his arms wrap around you.
You lean into his touch, playing back the memories of his body tangled with yours under the shower once more.
âBack at you, Sweetheart,â and you mean it, he looks positively eddible in those sweatpants.
He growls lowly, sending another incessant wave of heat through your body, âlove we need to leave this room before Elijah tears the door of itâs hinges. Iâve been listening to him and Kol pace for the better half of two hours.â
âKol,â you say loud enough for him hear from anywhere in the house, which isn't very loud honestly, âcan wait. He has had three days. He needs to learn to share.â
You swear you can hear him pouting from the kitchen as Klaus chuckles softly. Footsteps echo up the stairs, stopping right outside the door. You smile up at the blue-eyed blonde in your arms, knowing exactly who it is. He kisses your forehead, mouthing that heâll meet you soon.
You open the door to face a tired but grinning Elijah, âKol can wait but I'm just about done, baby.â
You canât help but admire him, standing in the doorway in a simple hoodie and shorts. This is the side of him that only you get.
âWell, sir, how can I argue with that?â
âUh huh,â he shakes his head at you, pulling you into his arms, making you erupt with giggles when he walks away, leading you back to the den where this all began.
You wave to Klaus, who winks back at you, mirth laced deep in his irises. You tuck your head into the crook of his neck, closing your eyes, finally at peace.
The night ends with the four of you cuddled on the largest couch in the den. Your back is against Elijahâs chest, his arms circled tight around you, not letting you go for anything. Klausâ head is in your lap, his legs sprawled behind him on the remaining length of the couch. One of your hands is laced through his hair. His are clutching your legs. Heâs fast asleep. Kol sits on the floor, your other hand resting around his shoulder, pulling him to lean back against your side. There's a fresh bowl of popcorn on his lap. He still isnât sharing any of it. The television screen shows the image of a man and a woman scuba diving together. You couldnât be happier to finally relax with all three of your Mikaelson men.
#elijah mikaelson x reader#the originals#the vampire diaries#tvd#elijah mikaelson#to#klaus mikaelson#kol mikaelson#klaus mikaelson x reader#kol mikaelson x reader#klaus mikaelson smut#tvd imagine#reader insert
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*SFW* Sunflower (Momo)
In retrospect, you may have had a crush on Momo from the moment you officially met her. That wouldâve been your third year of school, when you came to Japan.
You were born in America but the hero programs in any state didnât compare to UA, so your parents moved to Sakai to pursue your education in the hopes that itâd give you an edge. And thatâs how you met Momo, instantly making friends with her as she seemed like she needed one.
Naturally youâve always been extroverted, Momo being a more reclusive child meant that it was a perfect contrast of excitability to her peacefulness.
For some reason you were enamored with her, youâd follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked it of you. A strong bond formed that way, that promise to be there for each other goes both ways. Honestly you might be in love with her at this point.
Itâd be difficult to say you werenât, everything she did seemed perfect to you. Sheâs incredibly smart, adorable near constantly, admirable in her goals, there isnât a thing you would change even if you could.
Today has gone the usual pace, extremely boring until combat training, and extremely boring after. Taking English seems a little unnecessary to you right now, but you do understand that a large part of marketing depends on western audiences since theyâre the ones who tend to go overboard on obsessing over such things.
All in all, you find it worth it since Momo loves the current unit studying the Shakespeare play âromeo and julietâ.
âItâs just so romantic!â, Momo gushes before taking a sip of tea, âI canât stop thinking about that quote, âA rose by any name would smell as sweetâ.â
You nod, âIt really is.â
The both of you are relaxing in the dorms common room, idly watching a show youâve never seen before on TV. Sheâs sat next to you on the couch, legs crossed with her plate for her cup resting on her upper thigh, you sitting as unladylike as humanly possible per the usual.
âRoses are romantic in general, Iâd hope to encapsulate their atmosphere of love and dedication. Maybe someday Iâll remind someone of one.â, she says wistfully.
You shake your head with a chuckle, âWell youâve never reminded me of one, I think theyâre overrated. You remind me of a sunflower.â
âIs that a crack at my height?â, she quips dryly, putting her cup down with a quiet âclinkâ.
âNah, Iâm pretty sure Iâm an inch taller for one,â, you say passively as you sit up, invested in the fight scene playing out, âand for two itâs because of who you are as a person. Theyâre tall, sure, but nobody really thinks of that first when they think of one.â
âWell what do they think of?â She asks curiously, more focused on you than the TV.
âWarmth. Comfort. Strength. A rose is delicate, they need a specific type of dirt, a specific allotment of water per day or theyâll wilt and die. Sunflowers are resilient and function with anything thrown their way. They root themselves in rocky soil, they withstand hostile wind, itâs common for them to be the only sunflower in that particular spot despite all those aesthetic pictures of âem in fields.â You arenât thinking about what youâre saying, just letting it all flow freely without the usual censoring you do. âTheyâre a beautiful flower no matter what, but they handle themselves with a composition that roses couldnât ever hope to achieve. When I think of a rose I think of a borderline sickly and needy little thing, when I think of a sunflower I think of tenacity and adaptability.â
Too absorbed into the show, you donât see the pink across the bridge of her nose or the way her eyes are wide open, unsure of how she should respond, so she doesnât. You barely remember youâve said anything at all, time passing smoothly for you.
Though you lose interest once all the action is over, turning to see what Momo is up to since sheâs been quiet for a while. Like she usually does when lost in thought, sheâs got her eyebrows knitted together as she stares a hole into the carpet, drumming her fingers along her cup.
âWhatcha thinkin about?â, you ask as you scoot closer to her, breaking her out of her mental labyrinth.
She blinks a few times and offers an odd laugh, âO-Oh! Nothing, just⌠Nothing! Itâs nothing.â
âOkay?â, you say with a drawn out O, âYou absolutely sure itâs nothing?âÂ
With a nod she stands, dropping the cup's plate onto the floor. She swipes it up before you can even bend over for it, hurriedly shuffling off towards the dorm kitchen without another word.
You just sit in place, seriously confused over the abnormal behavior.
⌠Did whatâs playing on TV bother her? Sometimes she thinks about the logistics of certain things too hard but thereâs nothing that happened that should upset her like that.
After a solid ten minutes passes and she doesnât return, you follow her into the kitchen to see if sheâs still there.
She is, just as you suspected, leaning against the counter with a hand at the side of her face as sheâs gotten lost in thought again.
"Hey?", you say to announce your presence, which doesn't work to get her attention so you stand beside her and give a concerned hum, "Momo?"
That works well enough, her jumping slightly. "Y-yes?"
 "Are you okay? You're not usually like this, what's wrong?", worrying for her well-being leaks into your words, tone drenched with it.
"... It's just...", she pauses to give a frustrated grunt at her inability to express herself how she internally wants, "Just, I can't stop thinking about what you said."
Your heart sinks into your stomach at that, what did you say to her!?
"I guess I didn't see how much I feared that I was fragile, I tend to stiffen up sometimes and I'm more sheltered than others because of my well off background. It means a lot that you said what you did, validates me more than I thought I needed." She smiles and sighs, "More so, I don't understand why it's making me react like this." It's now that you notice how her cheeks are tinted pink, her awkward posture adding to her cute appearance.
"Huh, I'm glad I could help you feel better then.", you say as you force your eyes off of her and onto the coffee pot across the room.Â
"Hearing that was nearly hypnotizing, I couldn't stop staring at you!", she giggles as she speaks, "It's like that made me fall in love with you even more!" At first you were going to laugh with her but that second sentence has you frozen, sight locked onto her as you turn bright red.Â
She meets your eyes and neither of you can do anything now, locked into a standstill as her words hang in the air. You're looping it over and over in your head already, only able to remember bits and pieces of what you'd said to her earlier despite how desperately you're tugging at your memory.
Does... She feels the same..?
You open your mouth to speak but only huff with a nervous chuckle, rubbing at the back of your neck as your brain turns to mush. A second attempt proves just as successful, until you decide to just go for it. Fuck it, you've been holding back on this for years now.
"Momo," you say tenderly as you take both of her hands into yours, "I think... N-No, it's definite, I know that how I feel about you is concrete."
Her eyes glance down to your lips briefly, tempting you to do the same, finding that it makes you light headed to indulge in thinking about how plush her lips are. She takes care of herself extremely well, her skin is always so ungodly soft and you know those lips have to be the same, it's a guilty pleasure of yours to daydream about what it'd be like.
Here's your chance.
Taking the lead, you lean in close with hesitance, gauging her reaction. Like a deer in headlights she stands in place, though when you stop moving you notice that she'd been leaning in too. Your heart feels like it might pop from the tension, her hands squeezing yours in anticipation.
"Heya, kero.", chirps Tsuyu as she wanders into the kitchen innocently, not noticing the moment she was now a part of because she's making a line straight for the fridge, unaware of the position you're in.
Just as your lips brush against hers you recoil to turn towards your friend, letting go of Momo as you turn tomato red, ears burning with embarrassment.
"Hi!", you nearly shout back with way too much volume, smiling tensely, taking a step away from Momo.
Tsuyu grabs a can of soda and closes the fridge, opening it as she looks directly at you both. "... Is everything okay here?"
"Yes! Perfect! Couldn't be better!", you nearly cut her off with your over-enthusiastic response. You go to spare Momo a glance only to watch as she flees the scene, making you jealous and lonely at the same time.
Tsuyu hums sarcastically, âSure. Better go say something to her before the moment passes.â
âWhat moment?â Even you have to admit that youâre a terrible liar.
She rolls her eyes as she pops the tab on her can, calmly walking towards the common room.
You give yourself a second to panic before you lightly jog towards the girls wing, knowing sheâs likely smothering herself in her bed right now.
When you get to her door, you find yourself hesitating.
Sheâs your best friend! You can totally talk to her about this!
⌠Except that you just confirmed your feelings for her, something youâve never talked about in any way.
Neither of you have ever discussed having a crush with one another, it just didnât happen intense enough to merit a conversation. You make a jokes about how youâre likely a lesbian, does that count?
Ah why is this so difficult! She was about to kiss you, she feels the same way you do! Unless she didnât⌠Oh god what if she wasnât doing anything because she wasnât into it. Oh god! How can you ever be near her again if she actually did mean that comment as a joke?
Is that why she ran off? Does she need time alone? Would you be intruding? Is this crossing a line?
In the middle of your anxiety digging a hole into your brain, her door opens, snapping you out of it.
There she stands, as pink as ever, fidgeting with her hands as she keeps her sight firmly on the floor. You try to say something but your words catch in your throat, rendering both of you useless for the moment.
âI-I think Iâm in love with you!â, in blurt-mode you say that at an unacceptable volume for such a phrase, hands balled at your sides to help you force it out. âNo one compares to you in my life, t-thereâs never been anyone like you that Iâve even heard about! And, and I just, god, Momo I wanna kiss you so bad itâs stupid,â
Like a caveman pouring her heart out, you put it all on the table, awaiting the response of the potential love of your life. Sheâs not fragile physically but emotionally she really can be, for a moment you contemplate whether you ruined everything by being so upfront.
Though itâs all dismissed when she surprises you by closing the gap and kissing you, grabbing at your forearms to keep balance. Your eyes are wide, secretly enthralled by how determined her expression is, her eyes tightly closed.
When she pulls away you follow closely to give her one of your own, face aching from the continual blushing youâve done for the last ten minutes. She doesnât stop you, soft hands cradling your jaw as you wrap your arms around her, her knees going weak prompting you to take a few steps into her room to keep her standing.Â
This time you allow her to pull away, heart once again dropping to see that sheâs on the verge of tears. âAre you okay?â, you ask as you loosely let go, not moving any.
âY-Yeah! I umâŚâ, she clears her throat, blinking away at the water blurring her sight, âFor so long Iâve been so scared you didnât feel the same, a-and I got scared I was projecting onto you. But, this is happening, and⌠It feels really goodâŚâ
Youâre moved by that, sniffling with a wide smile. âJeeze, and here I was thinking the exact same thing. Kinda dumb of us both, huh?â
From the doorway Mina laughs, âWeâre lesbians, I think it comes with the territory to be stupid.â
âGod damn, is every girl here gay? My gay-dar doesnât work at all.â, you ask yourself with a huff, pinching at the bridge of your nose.
Momo shoves her face into your shoulder and mumbles to herself, âWhy canât we just be aloneâŚâ
âWait! How long have you been there!â, you ask with confusion, turning to look towards your pink friend.
âLike two seconds, I just sensed something happening when I heard yelling and had to come see! Iâm so glad you two talked things out, it was so intense waiting for this.â, she says with the usual excitement reserved for a reality show.
âAre - were we that obvious?â Incredulous, you raise your eyebrows as you sift over what this all mustâve looked like from a distance.
âMhmâ, she takes her cellphone out as she talks, âI thought you guys were already dating until I found out you werenât! Everyone is gonna be psyched!â
âEveryone!?â, both you and Momo exclaim, filled with dread at the prospect of becoming a piece of gossip to be spread around. Well, spread around for the second time apparently.
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Deceptions and Daisies (4)(m)
words 4.5k this chapter is pure smut and angst 𤥠(p.s. sorry this took so long, life has been crazy lately and I had some writers block I had to work through. Anyways, hope you enjoy!)
chapters (one, two, three )
After that last âfightâ you and Wooyoung had, youâve been spending a lot of time with San.Â
heâs been stopping by after classes just to say hi, or even bringing your favorite snacks, since he, unfortunately, knows that you tend to forget to eat when youâre stressed. Sometimes he doesnât really need a reason, he just likes to just relax with you, talking about everything and yet nothing.
Heâs come to learn a lot about you in the past few weeks and youâre always amazed at how well he can read you and your emotions. Youâve been feeling so bare and open around him, and surprisingly itâs been a welcoming feeling, itâs been nice to just be⌠well, yourself again. It might be too soon, but he feels like one of your closest friends already. Honestly, San has even been around more than Wooyoung lately.
Your boyfriend would often visit his âexâ and âjust a dance friendâ then rather see you, it felt like.
although, after you had confronted Wooyoung, you feel like he has been putting in at least a little more effort for you both. It may seem pathetic to some, but you werenât ready to give up, not after eight months of being happy and loving him. You admit you were feeling close to giving up, but after talking things over for hours and hours, you decided to give him another chance. Obviously, not everything was perfect and you werenât expecting that, but the ups and downs are always what made you both stronger together, at least you feel that way.
âWoo.. youâre so different lately. Are you really here with me? even when weâre together lately, I just feel so⌠aloneâ insecurity laces your voice.
He sits across from you on the couch, letting your words sink in.
He looks at you and instead of denying it this time, he just puts his head in his hands and exhales.
He looks up after a few seconds, looking uneased.Â
âI donât feel like myself lately.. and I guess I was just hoping you didnât noticeâ he confesses.
âReally? because Itâs all I notice. I thought we didnât keep things from each other, Wooâ you say surprised, mumbling the last words softly.Â
And for the first time in a while, he isnât looking defensive over your honesty.
ây/n, I havenât been.. completely honest with you.â he sounds anxious and you stare at him nervously, waiting.
âIâve been seeing Hana after work sometimes.. when I donât come hereâ he sounds ashamed, and in your current state of mind, he should be ashamed. You didnât fall in love with this Wooyoung, the one who lies.
âWhy? Why are you seeing her, Woo? No more lies or weâre done, I swear. I canât keep doing thisâ you try your best to sound confident and not let your hurt show.
He looks at you with guilt and swallows hard âI swear we arenât doing anything, not like that. Weâve just been talking and Iâm helping her to danceâ he says like he hopes to convince you.
âThen why? And why do you look so guilty?â you implore.
â...She said she still loves meâ he confesses.
Your heart sinks. You werenât an idiot, you could tell there was something deeper left between them, but it still really fucking hurts.
âAnd do you love her?â you ask weakly.Â
âI love youâ he replies quickly and with certainty.Â
âThatâs not what I asked, wooâ you feel your eyes start to water and you try desperately to keep him from noticing.
He stares at you so softly yet cautiously ây/n, listen to me. What I had with her.. It wasnât ever really as genuine as I thought at the time. If Iâm honest, I think we only got together because she was lonely. Besides that, she is my past and you are my now. I want this, I want you, and I want us.. For a long time, if youâll still have meâ he meets your eyes.
Your chest is aching.Â
even if his words are reassuring, you know you canât just keep forgiving him so easily.
âI want us too, but I canât keep going on like this. I canât pretend it doesnât hurt anymore when you are with her more than me. Iâm not dumb, Woo. I knew you were with her and I just... I canât. This isnât me, iâm not some cliche jealous girlfriendâ you trail off in a frustrated tone, feeling some tears drop from your eyes and meeting your cheeks. This isnât how the talk was supposed to go, but is anything ever easy lately?
He pulls you into his arms and rests his head in the crook of your neck. âJust one more chance, Iâll do better. Iâll be the boyfriend you deserve. Iâll be good for you.â you feel yourself tremble in his hold. his voice heavy with emotion, he breathes hotly onto your neck and presses a wet and gentle kiss against you âI love you, y/nâ you sigh and try to hide a slight sniffle âI love you too.. Please donât make me regret thisâÂ
San tosses a french fry in your direction, it pulling you from your thoughts.
He sits at the edge of your bed with a small fast food bag, staring at you expectedly.
You can tell he just got out of class by the way his hair is slicked back and his cheeks are still a bit flushed. He's dressed in a loose tank top, which must be some of his workout clothes. He must have come by straight after teaching and that thought makes you all tender for some reason. Itâs just that you know that San likes to go straight home after work or school, but instead, he went and got you some food and chose to spend time with you. It may seem little, but it means a lot to you. Itâs your day off from work and even if you told him to just head home and relax, having him here feels really nice. Youâve spent the day in your pajama shorts and a baggy shirt and if it was any other friend then youâd feel nervous and under-dressed, but you know that San doesnât care.
âIf you donât eat your fries, then I willâ he shoves some fries in his mouth messily, being an absolute goof.
You toss the fry back at him and it hits his chest, he looks at you offended. âShush. Now whereâs our ketchup?â you tease him and he smiles, his dimple showing.
He tosses you the bag softly. âYes, princess, and I got your extra ketchup too. You know, I get some weird looks for taking over 25 ketchup packets, so you owe me.âÂ
You scoot towards him and hug his back âyouâre the best, Sannie, you know that?â you say in a sing-songy voice. You suddenly feel your breasts rub against his back through your thin shirt and you stiffen, feeling embarrassed. Youâre just hoping that he didnât notice. (Heâs just thankful you canât see the blush on his face) He nudges you off of him and you fall back gently on your pillow âI mean something I actually wantâÂ
you poke his back with your socked foot in offense âHey! I give good hugs. youâre sweaty anyways, so fine, whateverâ he laughs at your sassy behavior. âCome sit with me?â you pat the pillow next to you, he obliges.Â
he rests his head against your headboard and shuffles a bit to get comfortable.
'so..' he tilts his head at you 'is Wooyoung coming over later?'Â
you nod a bit shyly 'yeah, he has tomorrow off so he's going to spend the night.' you smile, getting excited to spend some time with your boyfriend.Â
He gives you a small smile of acceptance âso things are back to normal?â
You shrug âI mean.. no? But heâs trying, weâre trying. He hasnât been seeing⌠her as muchâ you mumble carefully, not wanting to say her name. He understands, he doesnât like her either.Â
âShe hasnât been around the studio either. Maybe Woo finally stopped being an idiot.â
You chuckle âthat idiot is my boyfriend, but yes, heâs an idiot, my idiotâ
You both finish snacking and put on some anime on your laptop, watching it together on your bed. Youâre both resting against your headboard when Sans phone goes off. He says to ignore it but then his phone keeps buzzing over and over, he sighs, looking irritated, he runs his hand through his blonde hair âIâll be a minuteâ he says sounding agitated and heads out of the room. You figure it must be important, so you pause the anime and wait for him.Â
After a few minutes, you get bored and grab your phone. You notice a few messages from Wooyoung.
Woo ⼠Canât wait to see you, sweetheart
Woo ⼠Just a couple more hours âĽ
Woo ⼠Want me to bring any food or snacks?
You see that his last message was about ten minutes ago and you decide to reply
sent Just bring yourself ⼠I just got some food, but thank you~! San brought me a burger and fries đĽł!
You get a response pretty quickly after sending that, surprisingly.
Woo ⼠Why is San there? Tonight is supposed to be our night.
Is he actually jealous right now? You arenât sure what is going through his head so you send him another message
Sent Because heâs my friend? and he wanted to see me. Weâre hanging out before you come over then heâs heading home, not that it even matters.
You send back, feeling slightly irritated.Â
Woo âĽ
I just wanted you all to myself tonight, sweetheart. I canât wait. Besides San has a date tonight, I'm sure heâll be leaving soon.Â
You read his message over again, feeling taken aback a bit.
Before you have time to reply to Wooyoung, San makes it back in the room. He puts his phone on your dresser and relaxes against your pillow, he exhales tiredly.
Does he really have a date tonight? And why wouldnât he tell you?Â
âEverything okay?â you ask him softly.
âYeah.. Yeosang just keeps trying to set me up on these blind dates and he doesnât take no for an answer.â he sighs.Â
âI take it you got roped into one?â you chuckle, feeling a weird sense of relief that he chose to share this with you.Â
âThis would be the third actually, He keeps picking his sisters friends and itâs already so awkward when we see him and his sister at parties, I guess she doesnât take me not wanting to date her friends so easily.â he looks tired.Â
You pat his head gently âiâm sure when the right person comes along, youâll knowâ
Heâs laying on your pillow while you have your back rested against the wall, your laptop sits in between you two.Â
He meets your eyes âI think so tooâ he smiles, so damn sweetly. God, that dimple makes you so soft and you swear that he knows.Â
You both settle and watch some more anime, after a few episodes, he decides to head home, looking tired from his long day.Â
âBe safe?â youâre at your door telling him goodbye.
âAlways, princessâ he bows all cheesily.Â
You punch at his arm for teasing you and he catches your hand. âToo slowâ he laughs.
âOnce I get better reflexes, youâre done forâ you respond with far too much sass.Â
Heâs still holding onto your hand when he pulls you in for a hug. The position youâre hugging him in has your arms wrapped around his neck rather than his waist. His arms wrap loosely around your waist.
Somehow, this hug feels⌠different
Your heart starts to beat faster. Of course, you donât let yourself think too much into it, you canât. Besides, this is San, one of Wooyoungs best friends.Â
He pulls you closer and your face rests against his shoulder.
âIâm here if you need me. Iâll stop by again soonâÂ
You both pull away from the hug tenderly.
âSame, but I think you need might need me more, you know, to rescue you from your datesâ you offer and he gives a small laugh.Â
âIâll remember thatâ he waves with a grin and heads out, the door clicking behind him.Â
Youâre really glad he came over today.
After waving him off you head to the bathroom to take a shower before Wooyoung heads over, which should be in about an hour. The shower is calming yet exciting. Just knowing that youâre about to see your boyfriend has you so energetic.Â
After getting out, you put on some vanilla lotion (knowing that it was Wooyoungs favorite) and blow-dry your hair, you dab on some light lip gloss to finish it off. You decided to put on a sheer baggy sweater with a tank top underneath, knowing that you look cute. You kept your sleep shorts on, though. they are your favorite after all.Â
You pick up your apartment a little before he heads over, and of course feed your fish baby, Clem. Sometime after you finish cleaning you hear a knock on your front door and your heart jumps. Excited but anxious to see your boyfriend.
You pull open the door to see a tired and sweaty looking Wooyoung in front of you, in his hands he holds a small bag and a single red rose. You already feel yourself grinning at his antics.
âReally? Are you trying to impress me, Mr. Jung?â
He smirks âdepends, is it working?â
You pull him into your apartment and plant an aggressive kiss on his lips.Â
After pulling away, his lips try to chase yours again immediately.
âSo impatient alreadyâ you tease.
âItâs been 3 days, baby. Iâm past impatient at this point.â he whines and puts his bag down.
He hands you the rose and you blush a little bit. âThanks..â you mutter feeling slightly shy and he just softly kisses your forehead.
He heads towards the couch and pulls you with him. You end up sitting in between his legs as he lays on the couch. His black fluffy hair is parted so you can see his eyes.
âYouâre so pretty, sweetheart.â he says with affection and you turn your head, feeling shy under his gaze. He notices and you being shy and pulls you down on his lap for a kiss.
Youâre truly in awe of this man and god.. youâve missed this so much. Just the both of you, no drama, no lies, no Hana, just the both of you being with one another.
With you on his lap and kissing him he eventually starts to slowly grind into you, his bulge already thick and hot. You realize soon after that he isnât wearing anything under his loose joggers.
âReally, Woo? Nothing under here?â you ask in surprise and reach your hands down to where the outline of his briefs would be and he just smirks at you and grips your hips.
âI missed you, sweetheart..â and you let yourself fall into him, getting lost in lust and feeling some wetness drip out of you.
He puts his hands under your shorts and massages the swell of your ass with his fingers. You shiver at his touch, whining in his hold âreally? Already?â not expecting sex this soon.
âReallyâ he replies, voice thick with arousal. Suddenly he moves one of his hands lower and cups you through your panties, feeling the hotness of your cunt radiate. You moan needily and he slips a few fingers inside your panties, running his fingers through your obscene amount of wetness. It takes him far too long to slip the first finger inside of you and when he does, you absolutely crumble against him. You feel yourself soaking his hand and you couldnât care less. He has two fingers curling against your insides and you want nothing more than to sit on this mans thick dick and have a mind-blowing orgasm.Â
Of course, he doesnât let you cum yet, he just teases you until youâre about to scream in frustration. So, you find yourself reaching for his pants with a whine, trying desperately to get them off of him and you hear him chuckle at you. âShut up.. Need you..â you say deprived.
After a few more minutes of kissing and him having you at the precipice of an orgasm, he has enough and tugs your shorts off aggressively and with zero care where they end up.
He pulls your sweater off and you practically rip his shirt off of him.
âPlease?â you whimper, him under you, watching you already fall apart for him.
He lowers his joggers just enough for you to get to his dick, moving quickly. You can tell heâs eager to get inside of you.Â
âShitâ he says breathily when his dick rubs against the slit of your wet and puffy cunt.Â
âCondom?â he asks gruffly and it surprises you. You and Wooyoung donât use condoms⌠You havenât since you both got tested, two months into your relationship. Also, youâve always been on birth control, but youâre far too drunk with lust to think properly or question him so instead of replying you just grab his dick and angle it towards your entrance and drop down on him.
The moan he lets out reverberates through your apartment. He fills you up so perfectly. His thickness stretches you out and before dropping down on him again, you bring your fingers down to where you are both connected and whimper at the feeling. He must get be getting impatient, because he grips your hips hard enough to bruise and thrusts up into you, fully sheathing himself inside of you.
Sweat drips from his forehead as he starts to fuck you harder, and after a few minutes he gets impatient and you get on your knees for him, anxious for him to get back inside of you, your wetness dripping down your thighs. You both sigh in relief when he finally gets back in.
Heâs pounding you from behind and you feel his fingertips already bruising your hips, but you honestly love it. The way his cock drags against your insides has you nearly in tears and you whine, pushing back on his cock. He catches your hips mid-thrust and helps guide you back onto him even harder. The meat of his thighs slaps against your ass so deliciously.
Heâs grunting behind you, holding onto you possessively âyeah? Like my cock, sweetheart?â he asks huskily. You trail off in response, sounding a pitiful mess, almost in tears âyes, the bestâ tears fall from your eyes and you can tell from behind you that heâs getting close already. âNo one can make you feel this good?â he asks again, his tone dominant and intense, his voice deep. âJust you..â he knows how easily he can make you fall apart. you grip your hands harder onto the couch and youâre having a hard time thinking straight with him fucking you so hard, just then he reaches his hand towards your front and starts to rub circles onto your clit. You are delirious at this point. He knows that youâre close and spreads your legs further, giving him room to abuse your puffy clit. Your peak is coming and you canât form words at this point âonly I can make you feel this goodâ he whispers in your ear with certainty and determination. Youâre not exactly in the right state of mind to wonder why heâs being so dominant, with your orgasm at arms reach. Youâre whining and writhing under him, and with a slight pinch to your clit you find yourself cumming on his cock. You practically scream form the strength of it and he moans loudly behind you, fucking into you ruthlessly, his sweat dripping on your back. Just when you think heâs about to cum, he pulls out of you and finishes outside of you. Moaning loudly, he milks himself onto your ass. You feel cold all of a sudden.Â
Why did he pull out? He is obviously oblivious, basking in his afterglow. But youâre laying there confused.
âThanks, baby.. I needed that.â he grabs some tissues to clean you up and softly flips you on your back on the couch. You see him all flushed and red from fucking you, his hair curled slightly from sweating. â...I did too. You didnât come inside, thoughâ you say with a pout, feeling almost silly. He smiles at you âwas my little slut wanting to be filled up?â you turn to your side and he senses your mood slightly shifting, he comes to sit next to you on the couch. Youâre still laying there mostly naked with his cum still dripping down your thighs. âI wasnât even really thinking. I just know it can get messyâ you turn to him âwell, donât do that.â he chuckles at you. âNever again, my love.â after that, you both take a shower together, he rubs your back and kisses at the back of your neck, which has you giggling and pulling away. Being ticklish isnât exactly romantic, you feel like.
He stays in the bathroom a bit longer and you decide to get your laptop and put on something for you both.Â
You hear a buzzing coming from the living room, realizing itâs Wooyoungs phone. With things being more at ease now, you feel comfortable grabbing his phone and heading to the bathroom door to knock âWoo, your phone is going off. Is your hair dry yet?â
After you say that it buzzes again and by accident you see who itâs from, only seeing a snippet of a couple of messages.Â
Hana Are you done yet?
Hana I miss you.
The last message is what shocks you the most.
Hana Why wonât you just tell her already??
You drop his phone loudly as he opens the bathroom door, some steam coming out.
âHey, whatâs wrong?â he sees you looking pale-faced and stunned. He looks worried.
Ha, worried? You thought.
âI saw your messagesâ You say bluntly. Youâve had enough with being timid and calm about this. Youâre done.
He suddenly looks nervous âmy messages?â he asks, looking confused.
âYes, your messages. Now get the fuck out of my apartmentâ you say with conviction.
He just stares at you, his jaw slightly dropped.
âI donât think you read what you think you didâ he says calmly.
You scoff at him, looking at him like he thinks youâre some sort of idiot âreally? Because according to Hana you have something to tell me, what might that be?â
âLook, y/n, we need to talk but -â
You cut him off in frustration âI canât with these lies. I fucking canât anymoreâ you break off and feel some tears of frustration fall out of your face, which you try hiding from him. âdid you really come by just to fuck me and then leave me?â
he looks baffled âwhat are you talking about y/n?âÂ
a few seconds pass and he decides to try again.
âCan we please sit down and talk?â he asks exasperatedly.
âWhy? So you can tell me that weâre over, or that you did in fact cheat on me?â âI trusted you, I really did. You knew what I went through.â
Instead of responding he just stares at you sadly. He has the audacity to look guilty, to look upset at this.
âPlease leave.. Please. I canât do this, not tonight, not any moreâÂ
ây/n, please listen to me, just hear me out-â he tries to explain, at least you think heâs trying to explain, but you canât bear to even hear his voice right now.
âPlease! Please leave!â you wail.
âI canât leave you like this, I canât.â he says desperately, trying to reason with you. His body trying to inch closer to you and you pull back quickly, not wanting to be touched by him.
You let out a wet laughÂ
âSure you can, youâve done it before.â you know it was a low blow, but you honestly donât fucking care how he feels right now.
âLeave. Iâm calling San.â he scoffs at you, looking far too pissed off, something changes in his aura at the mention of his friend. âwhat a fucking surprise. The moment I leave, you call San, just like clockwork. You know for getting mad at me for spending time with someone else, you look pretty fucking hypocritical.â he seethes.
Before you can even think it over, your hand meets his cheek. He stares at you in complete shock. âI would never do anything to betray you, Wooyoung. I love you so fucking much it drives me insane. I let you in, I never do that. I would never stoop that low. oh, and San? Your best friend? Heâs a good person, and fuck you for thinking that he would do something so maliciousâ you say then fall onto the floor and break into a sob. Barely able to breathe. this snaps Wooyoung out of his sudden anger and again, he tries to come comfort you and you just beg him to leave. Regretfully, he gives up and leaves, knowing that he canât do anything to help you, not now. he did this to you, and as much as he wants to comfort you, he doesnât deserve to. he tells you how much he loves you and how fucking sorry he is before he leaves in shame and remorse. You need time, heâll try to give that to you. in the meantime, youâre left on the floor, in an absolute mess, having trouble breathing from the strength of your cries.Â
After catching your breath finally muster some energy to call San, trying to calm down enough to talk.
He answers after a few rings âHey you, I was just thinking of you, I saw the weirdest goldfish at the -âÂ
He stops talking when he realizes that you arenât responding and he just hears harsh breathing on the other line.
âYou okay, princess?â you just sob in response and that was all that he needed. âIâll be there in ten minutes. Just breathe. Can you unlock the door for me? Thatâs all you need to do.â he says gently. âUnlocked alreadyâ you sniffle.
âJust ten minutes.â and he hangs up after a minute, promising to hurry.
There was some slight traffic, so San ends up getting there about 20 minutes later. The sight he finds upon entering the apartment is you on the floor, at the edge of your bed, curled into a circle with a bra and your sleeping shorts on, hickeys covering your neck and chest.
He doesnât even need to ask to know that whatever happened was Wooyoungs fault.
He carries you as softly as possible to your bed, doing his best not to wake you since he knew whatever happened - youâd need the energy later to deal with it.
All he knew, was that he was about to break his friendâs nose.
#ateez angst#ateez smut#ateez x reader#wooyoung angst#wooyoung smut#san angst#kpop angst#kpop smut#kpop reader#ateez fanfiction#ateez#ateez fluff#EVENTUALLY#wooyoung#san#fanfiction#ateez fanfic#đ¤Ą#deceptions and daisies
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Jin Rusong Lives / On AO3
Jin Rusong has some questions about his father
Having enjoyed dinner with both of his uncles once, Jin Rusong decided that he now wanted this to happen every night. Nie Huaisang, for once, tried to resist his ward's demand. For a day or two, he found excuses to avoid such a torture until Jin Rusong came to find him in his office one afternoon, demanding more firmly that they all eat together.Â
Nie Huaisang, somewhat awkwardly, explained to him that Lan Xichen would probably not like this at all. In response to which Jin Rusong immediately insisted that they go ask Lan Xichen's opinion.Â
Lan Xichen opened his door to them with a polite smile, clearly surprised to see both of them when Nie Huaisang still half avoided him, and listened with great interest to Jin Rusongâs request.
"I would love that," Lan Xichen announced, still weak to Jin charm.
Jin Rusong grinned triumphantly at Nie Huaisang who barely refrained a grimace.
âZewu-Jun, donât force yourself,â Nie Huaisang complained. âIf we give in to all his demands, heâll be spoiled.â
âAnd Iâve told you before that I miss having time with you,â Lan Xichen retorted, his smile turning sharper. âWhy would I deny A-Song something I want as well? If you do not want this, then we will respect your preference of course," he added. "But donât pretend the decision comes from me.â
After the argument theyâd had just a few days before, Nie Huaisang was startled to hear Lan Xichen still wanted to reconnect. It made him hope for something he knew he wasnât allowed to want anymore, something they had both agreed long ago needed to be buried and forgotten. So if he had been a reasonable man, Nie Huaisang would have lied and demanded to be allowed to keep his distance from Lan Xichen.
Lying would give a bad example to Jin Rusong though, and he couldnât do that of course. He had to be honest, not because he had desperately missed the way things used to be with Lan Xichen before his brotherâs death, but because Jin Rusong deserved better than to be raised by another dishonest liar.
âZewu-Jun, you know how I enjoy your company,â Nie Huaisang sighed, giving in. âIf really you donât mind, then I would be very happy to have dinner with you and SongSong whenever it pleases you.â
Lan Xichenâs smile went soft again upon hearing this, before he winced when Jin Rusong shouted in victory.
âWell, heâs yours for now,â Nie Huaisang said, pushing the child toward Lan Xichen. âIâll see you later. I was working, you know, before someone came to disturb me!â
Jin Rusong grinned without shame, while Lan Xichen chuckled.
âYou could bring your work here and take care of it while I play with A-Song,â Lan Xichen offered. âI wouldnât mind.â
âTempting,â Nie Huaisang had to admit. âVery tempting. But if I did that, I donât think Iâd actually get any work done, and then Nie Funyu might scold me.â
âAnd we wouldnât want that,â Lan Xichen agreed, sounding almost teasing for a moment, before turning more serious again. âItâs good to see you take your responsibilities to heart, Huaisang. I always used to wonder how you could struggle so much when I know how clever you are. Iâm glad you no longer have to hide.â
Feeling a deep blush creeping up his face, Nie Huaisang promptly excused himself and ran back to his office, wondering if maybe he shouldnât have said he didnât want to be near Lan Xichen after all.
-
That doubt only became stronger the more he found himself in Lan Xichenâs company. Because while Nie Huaisang was determined to be polite and respectful and to rebuild their friendship from scratch, Lan Xichen was equally determined to resume certain games they used to play, back before Nie Mingjue died.Â
It wasnât flirting, not quite, but it also wasnât... not flirting.
Lan Xichen would say something a little too complimentary, followed by a look that lingered a little too long, a smile a little too knowing. Back when they were young, Nie Huaisang used to take it in stride and shamelessly returned the attention, until Lan Xichen became flustered and was forced to drop the game before Nie Mingjue became unable to pretend he couldnât see what was happening.Â
Now though, Nie Huaisang was the flustered one, and entirely unable to respond in kind for fear heâd take the teasing in a direction Lan Xichen couldnât possibly intend.
To make things worse, spending so much time again with Lan Xichen was reminding Nie Huaisang of all the reasons why he had once hoped their friendship might turn into something else. Lan Xichen was still the same man after all, polite to a fault to everyone he encountered. He even chatted easily with Wen Ning when the fierce corpse came to check on Jin Rusong, who seemed quite happy to chat back even though he wouldnât say two words to Nie Huaisang if he could avoid it.Â
The Lans too had taken part in the slaughter in the Burial Mounds, but having raised the lone child who had survived seemed to balance it out in the eyes of Wen Ning.
Aside from being polite to all, Lan Xichen was also clever and well-read. Nie Huaisang, who hadnât had anyone to talk about art and literature for ages, found himself debating with the other man more than once, usually until Jin Rusong became bored of the conversation and interrupted it.
Living in close quarters this way was also giving new reasons to feel what he shouldnât have felt. Seeing Lan Xichen playing with Jin Rusong, or teaching him something, never failed to make Nie Huaisangâs heart race in his chest. Worse still, sometimes Jin Rusong, exhausted from lessons with the Nie disciples and with Jin Yixin, would fall asleep on Lan Xichenâs lap while having his hair pet tenderly, a perfect picture of happiness.Â
Lan Xichen would have made a great father, given the chance.
He still might, once he was done recovering from what had happened with Jin Guangyao. It wasnât as though Lan Wangji was going to marry a woman after all, and someone had to ensure the line of succession was preserved. Nie Huaisang tried not to envy that hypothetical woman who would get everything heâd once hoped for. Just having Lan Xichenâs friendship again was already more than heâd have expected.
It went on that way for a handful of weeks. Nie Huaisang, after years of carefully crafted loneliness, enjoyed that company with more abandon than was reasonable.Â
He should have known something would happen to disrupt that fragile peace.Â
That night, they were having dinner in his quarters rather than Lan Xichen's. There was no firm rule established, but they tried to alternate so they could both have plenty of time with Jin Rusong in the mornings.Â
Jin Rusong who had been rather serious all evening since Nie Huaisang picked him up from where he was playing with other children, and surprisingly silent as well. Nie Huaisang, worried, had asked many times if there was a problem, only for his ward to get more and more upset each time. Trusting it would come out in time, he had decided to drop the issue and chatted instead with Lan Xichen about some sect business for which a second opinion would be welcome.
They were putting away their dishes for the servants to take later when at last, Jin Rusong couldnât hold it anymore.
âWas daddy a bad person?â he blurted, looking up at the two adults sitting opposite him.
Nie Huaisang nearly dropped the bowl in his hand, his blood turning to ice. He stared at the child who looked back at him with big, pleading eyes.
Heâd thought theyâd have a little more time before that conversation. Things had been so good, Nie Huaisang could almost have pretended that theyâd never again have to talk about Jin Guangyao.
Heâd thought wrong.
Next to him, Lan Xichen was equally shaken, but appeared to recover a little better and even managed to smile weakly.
âA-Song, is there a particular reason youâre asking this?â
Jin Rusong shook his head, then slowly nodded.
âWhen I was playing hide and seek with everyone, I heard some grown-ups talking about daddy,â he confessed in a small voice. âAnd they were saying how he should have died a long time before, and how awful he was, and how everyone should have seen it.â
âDid you recognise these people?â Nie Huaisang snapped, anger replacing shock.
Heâd given strict instructions to his disciples. Nobody was allowed to speak about Jin Guangyao in any way within the walls of the Unclean Realm, precisely to avoid such a situation.
Again, Jin Rusong shook his head.
âThey werenât from here. They didnât wear Nie colours,â he explained. âUncle Nie, is it true? Was daddy bad?â
Unsure how to answer, Nie Huaisang glanced at Lan Xichen, only to find him looking back at him, equally awkward.
âSongSong, thatâs a bit of a difficult question to answer,â Nie Huaisang said at last, fighting an impulse to open his fan and hide behind it. âYou see, your daddy⌠well, first of all, your daddy loved you. He loved you very much. More than anyone ever knew. And he saved you when you became too sick. But he also⌠well. Your daddy did some very bad things, yes.â
It wasnât the answer Jin Rusong had hoped for, and tears started pooling at the corner of his eyes.
âWhat bad things?â
Nie Huaisang hesitated, glancing again toward Lan Xichen who was still too shaken too speak.
âThings that you are a little too young to be told about,â Nie Huaisang said. âYour daddy has hurt a lot of people. And some people have... died because of him. Thatâs why there are people who are very angry at him, and who think it is right that he died.â
âBut you donât, right?â Jin Rusong pleaded, a few tears spilling on his cheeks. âHe was your friend, right?â
A third time Nie Huaisang turned to Lan Xichen, nearly panicking at the idea of having to explain everything that had happened. This time Lan Xichen took Nie Huaisangâs hand, and looked at Jin Rusong.
âA-Song, we thought that your daddy was our friend,â Lan Xichen explained. âHe was very good to us, most of the time. But he also hurt us a lot, and tried to hide from us the bad things he did. Even if he were alive, we could no longer call him our friend.â
His hand tightly squeezed Nie Huaisangâs, who could only squeeze back.
âDo you hate me too?â Jin Rusong sobbed, fully breaking into tears. âIf you hate daddy, then you hate me too?â
Both adults rushed around the table to hug him, Nie Huaisang who was closer pulling him on his lap while Lan Xichen knelt next to them and wrapped his arm around both of them.Â
"SongSong, we love you so much!" Nie Huaisang promised. "My precious little SongSong, how could I ever hate you?"Â
"You are not your father, A-Song," Lan Xichen added. "What he did has nothing to do with you. So don't worry, we won't stop loving you."Â
"E-even, even if I'm b-bad?" Jin Rusong bawled, burying his face against Nie Huaisang's chest. "Even if I'm sp-spoiled?"Â
"You're not bad, A-Song," Lan Xichen replied. "Not that spoiled either, even if Uncle Nie jokes about that sometimes."
"I spilled ink on your robes the other day," Jin Rusong whined. "And I don't eat food when it's green and bitter."Â
Nie Huaisang chuckled nervously.Â
"That's just little things, SongSong," he said, carefully petting his hair. "The things your daddy did, they're much bigger things, much worse. You wouldn't do these big bad things like him, and even if you thought about it, we'd notice and ask you to stop. We wouldn't let our SongSong become a bad person, not now that we know what it looks like."Â
"But what ifâŚ" Jin Rusong insisted, only for Nie Huaisang to cut him.Â
"There's no what if. You're a very good little boy, SongSong. Things like what you said are just⌠Well, everyone does a little bad sometimes, right?"Â
"Even you?"
Nie Huaisang froze at the question, thinking of a hopeless young man living in a shed, of Qin Su holding that dagger, of his brother's fierce corpse used as a weapon in a last effort to eliminate Jin Guangyao. If it had been up to him to answer, there was only one thing he could have said.Â
Thankfully, Lan Xichen spoke faster.
"We are only human, A-Song," he said. "And all humans have the potential to do good and bad equally. Nobody can go through life without causing harm. And the harm we've caused⌠It might be bigger than what other people did. But we tried to do good as well, and we've learned from the bad things we did."
âBut youâre good?â Jin Rusong insisted.
âWe try to be,â Lan Xichen sighed. âThere are people who would say we are as bad as your daddy, and others who would say what we did wasn't bad at all, that it was very good. Sometimes, when you're grown, it's hard to know for sure what's wrong or right. It might beâŚâ
Lan Xichen hesitated, his arms tightening around Jin Rusong and Nie Huaisang.
âMaybe someday, when you are older, you will decide that the bad we have done is too great for you to still love us,â Lan Xichen carefully said. âJust as happened between us and your father. We wouldnât blame you for that choice, and we will still love you, no matter what you decide.â
âNo, Iâll always love you!â Jin Rusong cried out, burrowing his face harder against Nie Huaisangâs chest, holding to his waist tight enough to start hurting a little.
Nie Huaisang silently pet the child's hair, trying to soothe both of them at the same time. Such an incident was a grim reminder that someday they would have to fully explain to Jin Rusong what had happened to his father. It wouldn't be easy, but he'd find out sooner or later, and it would be better for the truth to come from them rather than to be overheard from strangers.Â
Another day though.Â
Nie Huaisang wasn't ready yet to give up on Jin Rusong.Â
The three of them stayed like that for a while, hugging on the floor and comforting one another. A few times, Lan Xichen's hands brushed against Nie Huaisang as they tried to comfort Jin Rusong. Nie Huaisang was too shaken to flinch away as he might have done at other times, and so the touches continued, offering him some comfort as well though he wouldn't have admitted it.Â
After some time, Jin Rusong started yawning, exhausted by that too emotional conversation. He did not fight when Nie Huaisang picked him up and walked him to his bed. By the time Nie Huaisang was done preparing him and tucked him under his blanket, the child was already half asleep.Â
Returning to the main room alone, Nie Huaisang found that Lan Xichen had finished putting away the remains of their dinner. It made him smile in spite of his rattled nerves, and a painful warmth spread through his chest. It could have felt like a very domestic moment, if things had been different. His husband tidying while he put their child to sleepâŚÂ
But Lan Xichen would never be his husband, and this wasn't their child, but the son of a man they had murdered together. That was the reality of their lives, and Nie Huaisang couldn't afford to forget it.Â
"Huaisang, how are you?â Lan Xichen asked.
Startled by the question, Nie Huaisang looked at the other man to find him closer than before, and staring at him with obvious concern. He shrugged in answer to the question, which earned him a small grimace from Lan Xichen, acknowledging that it had been a silly thing to ask. After such a conversation, neither of them could have felt good.
âI must say you impressed me, Zewu-Jun,â Nie Huaisang commented, trying to distract himself from what had happened. âSuch a nuanced understanding of right and wrong isnât very Lan, is it?â
âThinking in absolutes has done me little good,â Lan Xichen retorted, bitterness piercing through his voice. âBecause I knew Jin Guangyao had done good, I refused to accept he could do wrong. Because Wei Wuxian had done such wrong, I struggled to understand why Wangji saw such good in him. I aim to have more nuanced views of others from now on.â
âHow wise of you,â Nie Huaisang said. âI wish I could do that,â he added with a bitter laughter, âbut Iâm just not kind enough.â
Lan Xichen gave him a long look.
âYouâre not like him,â he said at last. âI know you think you are, Huaisang, but it isnât true. Your methods might have been similar, but your motivations are different.â
âNot so different,â Nie Huaisang scoffed. âAnd maybe the good he did outweighed the bad, which is more than I can say. Still, he killed my brother, made him die feeling betrayed by all of us, in the exact manner Da-ge always most dreaded to die⌠He didnât want to go like our father, and Jin Guangyao knew that, yet he stillâŚâ
He shivered at the thought. Jin Guangyao had to know how scared Nie Mingjue had been. Nothing less than terror over dying in that way would have convinced him to accept the help of a man he otherwise no longer trusted. Jin Guangyao knew, and heâd made things worse on purpose.
âWhatever good he did was build using blood as mortar,â Lan Xichen said. âAnd that will forever taint his legacy. Unless someone fights for them, I fear his watchtowers will end up abandoned, simply because they were his idea.â
âProbably. Itâs almost a shame,â Nie Huaisang sighed. âThey did a lot of good. Maybe Jin Rulan will try to do something about that⌠though I wouldnât blame him if he didnât. He has enough to deal with already.â
It really was a waste that common people would lose this system which had helped so many, and in a way, Nie Huaisang took it as another reason to resent Jin Guangyao. If he had played a little more by the rules⌠or else, since the rules had been stacked against him, if Jin Guangyao had realised sooner that his father wouldnât change his mind about him, if he had killed Jin Guangshan first and left Nie Mingjue aliveâŚ
It had been such a waste of a brilliant mind that Jin Guangyao had spent so much time and effort trying to please a father who never saw him as more than a thorn in his side. Nie Huaisang couldnât understand it anymore than Nie Mingjue had when he was alive. He never would understand, he suspected. His youth and Jin Guangyaoâs had been too different.
âHuaisang, I want to talk about something,â Lan Xichen said in a too careful voice that made Nie Huaisang tense.
âCan it wait? It has not exactly been a very good evening, and Iâm thinking of going to sleep early if I manage.â
Lan Xichen hesitated, staring at him to decide whether or not whatever he had to say was worth prolonging that difficult evening. When Lan Xichen eventually shook his head with a serious expression, Nie Huaisang felt his shoulder tense painfully and braced himself for the worst.
âIâve forgiven you for not telling me about what Jin Guangyao did,â Lan Xichen announced. âEverything else is either not mine to forgive or never required forgiveness, but that is something I did resent you for. I still wish you had told me, but Iâm not angry anymore.â
Nie Huaisang stared at him with wide eyes, surprised to hear those words and so touched he half feared heâd break into tears. He had to turn away to hide his face, in case he couldnât contain his emotions. Gaining Lan Xichenâs forgiveness was simply...
âYouâre too kind, as always,â Nie Huaisang huffed, fidgeting with his fan. âDa-ge used to say you spoiled me and Iâm starting to think he was right.â
âYou know why I used to spoil you,â Lan Xichen softly pointed out. âI still would, if you let me. Thereâs a reason Iâm still unmarried after all, and you know it.â
Nie Huaisang startled.
âI know youâve had your own reasons for staying single,â Lan Xichen continued, stepping closer. âFar more unpleasant than my own. Still, I canât help but hopeâŚâ
âZewu-Jun, we said we couldnât,â Nie Huaisang hurriedly whispered, still avoiding to look his way. âWe agreed it wouldnât be possible to marry, not with both of us being sect leaders.â
âI do remember that day, yes,â Lan Xichen said, coming closer still, his voice so soft it made Nie Huaisang ache.
He too remembered that day, of course. First, because it had been the day of his brotherâs funeral, and that alone would have made it memorable. Second, because after the ceremony heâd broken down. Lan Xichen, the only person whose presence heâd tolerated at that time, had stayed with him and comforted him until he calmed down, and thenâŚ
It probably made Nie Huaisang an awful person that he had kissed Lan Xichen that day, for the first and last time. But he had wanted it for years at that point, and he had lost so much time with games, making Lan Xichen chase him, playing at flirting, thinking there was no urgency to their little romance. That day, after kissing, they had a long conversation and concluded nothing of the sort could ever happen again, that they would be friends and nothing else from then on.
Maybe it had been for the best that things had never progressed beyond flirting anyway. It really would have made things so difficult if they had made more efforts to move things forward, if they had been engaged or even married when Nie Mingjue died. Leadership of the Nie sect would probably have gone to someone else, someone who might not have noticed what Jin Guangyao had done, or worse someone who would have seen it and tried to openly attack him, which would only have led to more trouble, more death.
And yet Nie Huaisang, selfish in this as in other things, still wished to this day that it had happened that way, that he could have spent that last decade at Lan Xichenâs side. They would have been happy, he was certain of that.
âIâm not saying we didnât have good reasons to make that choice back then,â Lan Xichen said. âYou made some very reasonable arguments at the time. Too reasonable, perhaps. We donât have to marry to be together.â
âXichen!â Nie Huaisang exclaimed, scandalised enough to look at him again, only to find Lan Xichen smiling as peacefully as if they were discussing the weather. âXichen, Iâm pretty sure this goes against a number of your sectâs rules. In fact, I know for a fact that it does! I could never make youâŚâ
âI think Iâve given enough of my life to my sect to be allowed some infractions,â Lan Xichen noted with clear amusement. âIâve noticed that Wangji is a lot happier since he allows himself a little leeway, and so I have thought of following his example. Besides, Iâm tired of denying myself the things I want. And what I want, Huaisang, is you.â
Lan Xichen said it as if it were an evidence to him, and nothing in the world could be more obvious. Considering how unsubtle heâd been recently in flirting, perhaps it really was that obvious, and only Nie Huaisang could have needed it spelled out this way.
"Won't you regret it if you break those rules because of me? And what if things don't go well? I don't want to risk having you resent me. I can't lose you again, Xichen."
Lan Xichen came closer, one hand cupping Nie Huaisang's cheek with a tenderness that nearly left him breathless, while the other wrapped around his waist.Â
"We stayed friends the first time we decided it wouldn't work," Lan Xichen pointed out. "Even through secrets and misunderstandings, we stayed friends. You won't be rid of me so easily, Huaisang, not unless it's what you want."
Feeling nearly dizzy from this closeness he'd thought impossible, Nie Huaisang had to grab Lan Xichen's shoulders, his fingers clinging to white robes as if his life depended on it. Without thinking, his eyes flickered to Lan Xichen's lips, only to see a smile form on them.Â
"I've told you what I want, Huaisang. I think it's your turn now."Â
"You," Nie Huaisang whispered. "I want you. I've never stopped wanting you, Xichen."Â
Lan Xichen's smile widened, warmer and happier than it had been in years. He looked almost too beautiful to behold like this, with that smile on his lips and a cheerful flush on his face. Nie Huaisang tried to look away, overcome with emotion after having confessed this, but Lan Xichen's hand slid from his cheek to the back of his neck, keeping him in place as Lan Xichen leant forward toâŚÂ
"Uncle Nie!"
Both men jolted apart like schoolboys caught doing something bad and turned to the door of Jin Rusongâs bedroom.
âUncle Nie, please come here!â the child cried out from inside.
His heart still beating too fast, Nie Huaisang glanced at Lan Xichen who gave him a half smile, then hurried to see what Jin Rusong needed.
His hopes that he might take care of the little boy quickly and return to his conversation with Lan Xichen died when Jin Rusong, fighting tears once more, begged him to sleep with him that night, saying he was scared of being alone. Nie Huaisang gave in of course. He only briefly left his ward to go explain the situation to Lan Xichen who understood and bid him goodnight, then returned to Jin Rusongâs side who fell asleep again clinging tight to him.
There would be time later to continue chatting with Lan Xichen, anyway.
#jin rusong#nie huaisang#lan xichen#xisang#mo dao zu shi#jin rusong lives#jau writes#at fucking last I update this yay#and tomorrow I should have a prompt fill#funny how I'm writing more when work doesn't exhaust me for just two fucking days
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A Treasure Hunterâs End - An Epilogue
Mood music
âSo....howâre you two holdinâ up?â
It was one of the quieter evenings at The Hard Place as the four of them sat at a mostly clean table, drinks before them. Orion, Câravi, Leila, and Raihâa were all that were left of the Blackhawks now. Galahad had turned to monkhood, pleading his body and soul to Rhalgr to atone for all heâd done. According to Leila, Jajaya had âfucked offâ when things started getting too weird. Elias, the mage theyâd hired to fill the talents left by Orion was dead...as was the manipulative, power-hungry woman from whom the group had gotten its name, Alyss Blackhawk.
âIâm...not sure.â Leila idly swiped a thumb against the perspiration on her glass as she considered Orionâs question. The markswoman met eyes with Raihâa for a brief moment. The four of them had mostly recovered from the events of the week prior, at least physically. Câravi and Leila had a few new scars, the former mostly from being flung into a crystal pillar, while the latter from having to fight back some Shades that had gotten too close to her. Raihâa, however, had visible bandages peeking out from beneath his clothes; getting stabbed and being left to die by your own boss tended to take longer to heal, on all fronts. Orion, somehow, managed to look the best of them all despite being the one to actually die.Â
âI want to hate her for everything she did. I really do. Part of me though...thereâs a part of me that still thinks about her...and misses her. I know intellectually that what she had for meââ, she looked to Raihâa then, âfor us, wasnât love. I know she just wanted people to control and keep around her to make herself feel better, but...I donât think that changes how I felt for her once. At least, not yet.â Raihâaâs own eyes fell down to his drink, wordlessly agreeing with Leila.Â
Orion looked to the pair of them, but struggled to find the words to respond...so instead he looked to Câravi, the more emotionally adjusted sibling.Â
âFeelins are complicated.â The younger sibling spoke, sparing Orion a glance. The latter merely rolled his eyes, as if to say âWell I couldâa said that much.âÂ
âBut it sounds like youâre makinâ the right steps by even acknowledginâ that much. I think, like with a physical wound, itâll just take time for how ya feel tâsettle.â Ravi offered the pair a sympathetic smile.Â
âYeah, what he said.â Orion added helpfully. âAnâ uh, you know, if you ever wanna talk about it or some shite...Raviâs always available.â There was a thud from under the table as Ravi kicked Orionâs foot, eliciting a well-deserved âowâ. âMe too, oâ course.â, he added hastily.
Raihâa rolled his eyes, albeit with a smirk. âHow kind of you to offer.â, the gaze said. âThanks, Ravi.â Leila offered the younger sibling a warm smile. âItâs a good thing at least one of the Coeurl brothers got the brains.â The table erupted into laughter then, even Raihâaâs raspy voice could be heard amidst the din. Orion, meanwhile, rolled his eyes and knocked back a third of his drink. The tiniest upturn at the corner of his mouth did not go unmissed by Ravi, however. The group got a couple of stares from the few other patrons who were trying to have an undisturbed evening of lonely drinking.
âSo Rhanvir, whatâs next?â Leila leaned forward on the table with her arms crossed.
âWhat do ya mean?â The older Seeker cocked an eyebrow.
âYou know. I know you two are going to Radz-at-Han for a bit, but I mean if I know you, youâve already got your eyes set on something new.â As Leila pressed, Raihâa too showed his interest by leaning forward. Ravi also looked to Orion then; heâd posed his brother the same question a few days ago, but had gotten nothing.Â
âWellâŚâ Orion looked between the three of them. âIâm thinkinâ it might be time for a slight career change.â Raihâa nearly spit out his drink then.
âWait, Rhanvâ, Ravi began, brows knit together, âyouâre not sayinâ youâre...quittinâ treasure huntinâ, are ya?â
âMaybe heâs still possessed.â Leila offered, only half-joking as she scrutinized the man. Raihâa leaned back in his seat and watched quietly.Â
âCurious.â âItâs...somethinâ Iâve been thinkinâ of since my friends anâ I went down into that Gelmorran colony.â Orion rubbed at the back of his neck. âI dunno. It just doesnât feel...right anymore tâtake things, even from the dead. One oâ the things I think Iâve learned after everythinâ that went on is that...well, dead doesnât mean gone.â
Ravi had twisted to the side, leaning against the table with one arm as he watched his brother, astonished.
âSo what, youâre gonna pack it all up and find a boring life...I donât know, I canât even come up with an example because I canât imagine you doing anything other than diving into ruins. I know you only really got into it because...Alyss took you in, but that aside it really did seem like that kinda thing was your calling.â Leila continued to eye him dubiously.Â
âWait wait wait, who said I was gonna stop doinâ all that?â Orion interrupted, âI just mean Iâm not gonna take anythinâ thatâs not mine tâtake...no matter how good it might look on my shelves...âÂ
Raihâa gave a small snort, âThere he is.âÂ
âSo then...what are you gonna do?â The younger sibling inquired, sharing Leilaâs perplexed look.
âWell, one oâ the other things I learned is that there areâ, Orion sighed then, putting a hand to his forehead as he shook his head, ââWanderer...Iâm gonna sound like Khronââ he muttered, âplenty oâ stories out there left tâbe uncovered; some oâ them might need puttinâ to rest, even. Thereâs a ton oâ magic out there in the world it seems, some of it wild anâ causinâ trouble, anâ I dunno. After what we did underground...it felt...good, like real good, tâbe able tâset all those trapped souls free anâ help âem move on. I wanna do more oâ that. Who knows what other kinda shite like that is goinâ on that no one knows anythinâ about?â Orion paused then, looking at the other three to gauge their reactions.Â
âWell, color me impressed. It looks like a coeurl really can change his spots.â Leila snorted, crossing her arms.Â
âThat sounds...real dangerous though, especially alone. What if ya get hurt?â Ravi probed with concern.
âWell, I wasnât really planninâ on goinâ it alone. I was gonna wait âtil after we got back from Thavnair anâ after Iâd thought on it more, but I was thinkinâ Iâd ask the three oâ youâanâ some oâ the othersâif youâd wanna uhâŚâ, he gestured vaguely with his hands, âyâknowâŚâ
Ravi smirked triumphantly then, the smugness on his being palpable, âYouâre goinâ tâhave tâsay the words, Rhanvir.â Â
Orion sighed, shooting his sibling a weary look, â...If youâd wanna help me out.âÂ
Leila and Raihâa looked at each other then.Â
âI thought you wanted to go straight?â Raihaâs eyes seemed to say.
âWell, it sounds like our old coworkerâs found a way to make that a lot less boring than I thought itâd have to be.â Leila stated in response aloud.
âTrue...but is that really the life for us? After everything?â
âItâs kind of all we know. Besides, itâd be kind of nice to see the world just to...see itâ
âAnd not because someone has something weâshe wanted?â
âYeahâŚâÂ
Orion and Ravi watched the conversation, even if they only heard Leilaâs side of it. While the siblings had spent enough time with Raihâa to be able to read him to some degree, only Leila truly understood the mute Keeper.Â
âI suppose...itâs better than being alone.âÂ
âYou wonât be. Not again.â Leila reached over and put a hand on Raihâaâs, squeezing it gently.
âThanks.â Raihâa smiled before casting a glance in Orionâs direction, who offered him a broad, hopeful grin in return.
â...Heâs gotten frustratingly handsome since the last time we sat down like this.â Raihâaâs eyes rolled, a subtle blush dashing his cheeks.
Leila let out a small, scandalized gasp then. âIâm going to tell him you said that.âÂ
âDonât you dare.â Raihâaâs gaze smoldered, brow creasing tightly.
âTell me what? Whatâd he say?â Orion asked, raising an eyebrow. âIf heâs said somethinâ mean about me, Iâve got the right tâdefend myself. Whatever he said, itâs wrong.âÂ
Leilaâs face tightened as she struggled desperately to hold back the laugh that shook her body then, before ultimately shaking her head,
âHe just said heâs in.â The woman smirked, wrapping a hand around her drink. âI am too. Sounds like a lot of fun.âÂ
The Seeker beamed then and raised his glass to toast before pausing and turning to Ravi,
âWait...what about you, Ravi? Youâre inâŚ.right?â Orionâs voice quieted a bit as he asked his sibling. Things still werenât perfect between them; theyâd talked some more once they got back from the Aetherial Sea and while Orionâs actions there had done leagues to prove to Ravi that Orion was a changing man, it wasnât easy to bridge years of being apart. That awkwardness still lingered, albeit much less so now than before, and it was something each of them felt.Â
âIf it means finally gettinâ tâsee the world with ya like weâd set out tâdo all those years ago...then yeah, of course Iâm in.â The younger sibling smiled warmly at him before raising his flagon to clink it against Orionâs. âBesides, youâre gonna need me. Like Leila said, Iâm the one that got the brains.âÂ
The table of former thieves broke into a cacophonous laughter once more as the evening wore on.
#[Plot | Relics of the Past]#[The Blackhawk Vagabonds]#The epilogue to the plot I just finished running#[Drabbles | Orion]
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Notes from a Brown Boy - Kansas Diaries
*Authorâs Note:Â Some peopleâs names have been changed to protect their identities
The rain was the first thing to greet me when I landed in Wichita. Overhead the gray clouds loomed, shadowing the farmland that yawned in the distance. Distance. At first glance, the city seemed like one long stretch of prairies and cracked parking lots, occasionally punctuated by billboards of grinning injury lawyers and lit up restaurant road signs.
If you spend enough time here amid the crumbling old buildings, watching the weeds sway in the vacant lots, youâll feel the slow, inevitable creep of dread or something like it.
Itâs easy to feel lonely here.
But, if youâre receptive enough, youâll run into many friendly folks. Sometimes too friendly.
For example: During my first week, I went to Freddyâs, a local fast food chain, and ordered a crispy chicken sandwich with fries. The cashier, a young woman with glasses and short blonde hair, suddenly started confessing her fear that her 8-year old chihuahua wouldnât live a long life.
âI still think of him as a teenager,â she said.
âDonât worry,â I said. âHeâs a chihuahua. They live long lives.â
Out here, in the most middle-of-the-road cities, you sometimes get a chance to show an act of passing kindness. While waiting in line at one of the hip, new cafes downtown, a place called Milkfloat, a tall elderly gentleman recommended which coffee and pastry to get.
âMy wife says this place has the best cold brew in town.â Afterwards, grabbing his pastry and coffee, he wished me a good day. Most folks here always do and you better hope it comes true. Because here, like elsewhere, a day is filled with ordinary heartbreaks.
I will simply call her âTita.â She works as a tailor at a department store, the only tailor working there, hemming and tapering racks full of suit pants under fluorescent lights. The nature of the job requires exact measurements and a keen eye for detail. She works hard, often skips lunch, and comes home dead tired. Her husband is recovering from 4 broken ribs after a car repair job went awry. Nothing can be done but wait until he gets better.
They live in a languid suburb on Wichitaâs east side, a street with few sidewalks but plenty of lawn.
And noise. Plenty of noise. The neighborhood sits next to a car dealership. The skies overhead rumble continuously with airplanes and thunderstorms. Dogs bark at anyone who gets too close. A pickup truck blasts a corny country song as the cicadas and frogs belt out their lonely mating calls. Occasionally, a childâs laughter rises above it all.
Gossip is one of the great pastimes in towns like these. Even if you shut yourself up in your home, stories trickle in.
The neighbor across the street shot himself in the head.
The elderly couple that used to live next door got committed to a nursing home.
A fellow around the corner is on his third attempt to grow weed.
A college student starves himself morning to night so that he can save money for college.
Down the street, a kid lifts weights and punches the heavy bag hanging on his front porch.
Here, dumb luck seems, more so than in the big cities, the providence of God.
A man told me he got a job installing new carpets at a friendâs house. He was in desperate need of money, having sent most of it to his mother back home, who proceeded to gamble it away. When he ripped out the old carpet, he found a bundle of $10,000 dollars just lying there. His co-worker said, âWe should split it.â
âNo, no, we canât take it.â the man said. He gave the money to his friend.
Sometime later, he went to the casino and couldnât stop winning jackpot after jackpot. He brought home close to $16,000 in one night.
âSo, if you do something good,â he told me, ��God will remember that.â
Many people have come to live and die here, all of them wrapped up in the melancholic churning of faded ambitions and familial obligations.
Some people here have found something that returns them to the placidity they once felt in their youth. Sometimes thatâs enough to keep them going.
For example:
I met Phil Uhlik, the namesake of the music store on E Douglas. He heard me playing an old Martin acoustic in one of the rooms. He shuffled in slightly hunched over, wearing a blue paisley shirt and brown shorts. He looked at the sunburst guitar in my hands and said, âItâs got a little beauty mark there.â He pointed to a small nick just above the sound hole. âAll girls have beauty marks.â He pointed to his cheeks and smiled.
Uhlik started this music store 51 years ago and enjoys every moment of it.
âWhen you go to work for Boeing, thatâs work,â he said. âBut this, it doesnât feel like work.â He motioned to the instruments all around him.
âHowâd you get started?â I asked.
âI started off playing one of these,â he said, taking one of the accordions off a nearby shelf. As he strapped it on, all the years seemed to disappear. With a big crooked-teeth grin, he breathed life into the old accordion, his hands dancing up and down the keys. The smile never left his face as we bid farewell to each other.
I wish everyone in this world were as lucky as Phil.
Iâm always seeking indie bookstores when I travel. Eighth Day Books provides much needed shelter from the summer heat. The shop was built 33 years ago and used to be located about half a mile east, in Clifton Square Village. About 17 years ago they moved to their current location, a 1920 Dutch-style colonial house on the corner of E Douglas and N Erie. Its blue trimmed windows peek through the foliage of neighboring trees.
When you walk in, youâll see shelves of books on Christianity and Theological studies, most notably in the Eastern Orthodox tradition. Iâve never seen a bookshop with a section dedicated to Iconography.
Wichita, despite its size, feels like a small place. And with that cramped spaciousness, youâre likely to run into someone you may remember or who may remember you. Here I ran into my girlfriendâs 8th grade English teacher. A bald, bespectacled man with a gentle demeanor. After a bit of catching up, he said to us with a smile, âI hope all your dreams come true.â
The short story writer, Raymond Carver, once wrote: âDreams⌠are what you wake up from.â
Wichita is a land that hypnotizes you; it makes you dream, dream of something beyond the miles of strip malls and airplane factories, beyond the shocks of wheat and windswept plains, beyond the doldrums and ennui. But it also shakes you awake, reminds you that youâre in it, that you better stop dreaming.
Iâm not the religious sort anymore, having survived the regime laid down by my Catholic parents. But there is something enthralling, maybe even inspirational, when I look at the rows of beautifully painted portraits of saints and martyrs. Such solemn faces surrounded by golden halos. According to the Eastern Orthodox tradition, such paintings transcend art; theyâre supposed to be windows through which you can glimpse the divine. They remind me of my grandparents with their judging eyes and moral seriousness.
My book haul for the day:
Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata
The Diary of Anne Frank
Earthly Signs: Moscow Diaries by Marina Tsvetaeva
Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector
In that last book, I found this lovely little passage:
âŚâin the Revolution, as always, the weight of everyday life falls on women: previously--in sheaves, now in sacks. Everyday life is a sack with holes. And you carry it anyway.â
From Earthly Signs, P. 40
According to the 2019 United States census bureau, 15.9% of Wichita's population lives below the poverty line. Thatâs higher than the state average, which hovers around 11.4%. Thatâs not the lowest nor is it the highest in the country. As befitting its location, Kansas is right in the middle.
The minimum wage in Kansas is still $7.25 despite efforts to increase it to $15. When Covid-19 hit, city and service workers bore the brunt of the impact. You can keep all your empty slogans like  âWe Love Our Frontline Workers.â Congratulate me all you want for my hard work but whereâs my pay?
When you see that business here has returned to normal--people freely walking around without masks, no longer socially distancing--it still feels all too strange; we spent an entire year under lockdown. Thereâs still a pandemic by the way.
Loved ones fell ill, died alone, hooked up to ventilators in closed off hospital rooms. I believe every interaction now carries the weight of all those deaths. My family, like so many others, didnât escape unscathed from the pandemic. My grandpa, Amang, caught Covid. Since he was an elderly citizen (and suffering from emphysema to boot), he was among those considered most at risk. We all feared the worst. Somehow he survived. The doctors called him a âtrailblazer.â
Now, with businesses back to 100% capacity, Iâm afraid that, just like the 1918 Flu epidemic, the past will fade like a nightmare upon waking. But it was so much more than that; it was an avoidable tragedy.
If you want to know what this pandemic has done to people and their livelihoods, is still doing to them, take a ride through downtown.
Things were already going bad before Covid hit. Back in 2004, the writer Thomas Frank wrote,
âThere were so many closed shops in Wichita⌠that you could drive for blocks without ever leaving their empty parking lots, running parallel to the city streets past the shut-down sporting goods stores and toy stores and farm implement stores.â
Whatâs the Matter with Kansas: How Conservatives Won the Heart of America, P. 75
What led to all this blight? Frank attributes the decline to:
âthe conservativesâ beloved free market capitalism, a system that, at its most unrestrained, has little use for smalltown merchants or the agricultural system that supported the small towns in the first place.â
-P. 79
The same story happens in a lot of places. A megacorporation keeps eating everything around it and leaves nothing else at the table.
The people are left hurting, a pit in their stomachs, and some asshole somewhere profits off of it.
While at the DMV, I overheard this:
âYou have a good day now,â the security guard said.
âIâll try my best,â a woman said.
My girlfriend heard them too and laughed.
âYou really do have to try your best in order to have a good day here.â
At some point, we hit the town with a couple friends: Monica, and her boyfriend Will. Both are musicians trying to carve out their niche in a place that, on the surface, seems apathetic to creative pursuits.
Itâs impossible to not be captured by their energy. As soon as we walk into their house, Monica, with her dark blonde hair draped over her shoulders, reached in for a hug. Will, a tall and bearded fellow with a bear-like presence, also went in for the hug.
âReady to experience some Wichita nightlife?â Monica asked.
What is the nightlife here like? A group of high school punks wanted to fight us over a couple movie theater seats. Bored kids play rounds of âChinese Fire Drillâ at stop lights. I heard a nazi biker gang rolled into town at some point during my stay. Regular things like that.
At a low-key bar downtown called Luckys, I met a guy named Cory. He told me how he met a 15 year old kid loitering here, looking lost and forlorn.
âI donât know what kind of advice I can give you but Iâll do the best I can,â Cory said.
This is the spirit Iâve often come across during my stay: A sort of slightly intrusive compassion. For a cynical Californian like me, the behavior seems a little strange, maybe even a little annoying. But Iâve come to appreciate the candor of it.
âGuaranteed weâll know half the people here,â Will said.
Right away, he shook hands with the bartenderâa high school friend of hisâand asked him how his band was doing. Afterwards, we sat down and talked. Talking, after a year of pandemic lockdown, has become a lost art to me. But a little alcohol loosened the lips and suddenly I talked as though Iâd known these people my whole life.
Will sipped his whisky on the rocks and told me:
âIf everything in this world is meant to break down eventually, then any act of creation becomes an act of defiance.â
It may sound naive but to me, itâs true. I think about the words of the writer, John Berger:
Compassion defies the laws of necessity. To forget yourself and identify with a stranger has a power that defies the supposed natural order of things.
--The Shape of a Pocket, P. 179
Making art has to be, in some way, a compassion act, because it involves letting the environment and the people you meet speak for themselves, allowing a collaboration.
âWhen a painting is lifeless it is the result of the painter not having the nerve to get close enough for a collaboration to start⌠Every authentic painting demonstrates a collaboration.â
--The Shape of a Pocket, P. 16
You need to open yourself up, feel what someone is saying behind their words, and hopefully, feel what they feel.
Art, like Compassion, is defiant.
Among the 4 or so Asian markets here, you can find all the ingredients you need to cook up something good. During my first week, I stopped at a place called Grace Market. Like a lot of small Asian markets, itâs family run. A father from Taiwan. A mother from Korea. The son usually helps out when he can. Today (June 23), On this warm Wednesday morning, the son is manning the cash register.
âYouâre from California? Iâm from there too,â he said.
âWhere at?â I asked.
âSacramento. How about you? So Cal?â
âNah, Bay Area.â
âFunny. Thatâs where my parents met.â
âSmall world.â
On a different day, we met the father, a jovial man who never fails to say hi when you walk in. He came here over a couple decades ago from California, doing work for the US Army in Garden City. Once his service was over, he decided to stay in Kansas.
âI think you know why,â he said.
More and more young folks these days are leaving California. The high cost of living is presumably whatâs driving this exodus. I told him I was also thinking of leaving the Golden State, as much as I love the place.
âWell, a town like this has a lot of potential if you want to save money,â he said. âIf I tried to start this business in California, I donât think I couldâve done it.â
The summer heat can, with the suddenness of a lightning flash, give way to thunderous storms. Speaking as someone from California, whose home has gone through excruciating periods of drought and wildfire, these nightly downpours are a startling yet relaxing sight.
The distant boom of thunder in the distance reminds you of how much of our lives depend on the weather, how small we are in comparison, how we are never separate from the goings-on of nature. The rain doesnât come down lightly here. At night, it smacks and drums against the window pane with all the force of an animal trying to get inside.
But I donât find myself frightened by it so much as awed by the combined power of wind and rain colliding against our rickety old house.
Kansas lies in the Great Plains, where layers of cool and warm air often combine into a low-level jet stream. Unimpeded by any natural obstacles on the wide flat plains, the wind roars across the expanse. Thunder growls over the prairie. And lightning flashes on the horizon in a fearsome red tinge.
The storm rages throughout the night, the only source of light in an ocean-sized plain.
âIn general, the gods of the Wichita are spoken of as "dreams," and they are divided into four groups: Dreams-that-are-Above (Itskasanakatadiwaha), or, as the Skidi would say, the heavenly gods; and (2) Dreams-down-Here (Howwitsnetskasade), which, according to the Skidi terminology, are the earthly gods. The latter "dreams" in turn are divided into two groups: Dreams-living-in-Water (Itska-sanidwaha), and the Dreams-closest-to-Man (Tedetskasade)â
From The Mythology of the Wichita, P. 33
If you go downtown, youâll see a sculpture called âThe Keeper of the Plains.â
Itâs almost 9 oâ clock when I get there, so large crowds have gathered to watch the ring of fire lit around its perimeter.
The statue was designed by indigenous artist and craftsman, Blackbear Bosin. Born in Cyril, Oklahoma, but living much of his adult life in Wichita, Kansas, Bosin was of Comanche and Kiowa descent and almost entirely self-taught as an artist.
When you come upon the Keeper of the Plains, standing tall on the fork of the Arkansas and Little Arkansas Rivers, you canât help but feel a mix of admiration and sadness. Itâs a striking statue, especially when set against the beautiful orange and lavender hues of the setting sun. But monuments like these end up reminding you of the Wichita peoples who were killed, displaced, driven from their land, and left to die in reservations, forgotten. The tribes that once lived here along the southern plains still show traces of their culture but now, youâll see it mostly as a memory in a museum or as art hanging on the walls of a library.
I learned from a video by the Wichita Eagle that the last speaker of the Wichita language, Doris Jean Lamar, died back in 2016. It must be indescribably lonely to be the last speaker of a language. There is no one to have a conversation with, no one to whom you can confess your hopes or your regrets. But in the video, Lamar, even knowing that she is the last speaker, expresses hope that future generations will know what the language sounded like.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ScPkN_xGRI
Is forgiveness even possible when injustices are still committed today against native peoples everywhere?
Not enough can be said about the skies here, which seem at times so brilliantly marbled with peach and lavender colors that you begin to walk with your head perpetually craned upwards.
Itâs this aspect, the overwhelming sense of the sublime, that will probably stay with me long after Iâve left Kansas.
I think again about the nature of dreams. It isnât such a sin to dream about things, about things that havenât happened yet, and about things that have happened. To quit dreaming seems too cynical, like admitting from the outset that everything is screwed, that you should stop trying.
During my stay here, Iâve met many people who arenât so irony poisoned yet, people who are achingly sincere and kind. They havenât stopped trying. There isnât much room for cynicism here. I appreciate that a lot.
Farewell to you, Kansas, you and your clumps of cumulus and vast fields of cows and grass. Iâll see you again.
Check out Willâs music! Itâs gloomy, melancholy, and LOUD!: https://teamtremolo.bandcamp.com/album/intruder
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There are many stressors in a modern day lifestyle.
Usually these include the looming threat of death, the monotony of working for currency that stopped being useful years ago and deer.
There are so, so many stressed people. Made worse by the apocalypse that didnât happen, the riots that most definitely happened, and the negotiations that have been âin progressâ for the last few years.
The amount of rapid budget changes are stressing out some people. The amount of rapid cultural exchange is stressing people out. If you work in any field, any field at all, you are likely to be stressed as all hell.
Eventually, they have to pick someone on the ship to be shown as an expert negotiator. No one is prepared for this. Most of them are middle men, most of them donât have a clue what theyâre supposed to be doing, and all of them are panicking.
So they drew straws. The most important decision of all time is made by dumb luck, and honestly thatâs a pretty good metaphor for everything happening right now.
Name someone on their haphazard crew and they will have a conflict of interest. Name one member and they will be grossly under qualified.
America has four ambassadors out of the eight chosen. Not because theyâre the most presentable, or the most qualified, or the best possible choice, but because they overpaid for a privilege nobody wanted.
If all of this goes to hell they're getting the blame. And if they get the blame the only plan is to point at whoever was voluntold to be leader and pray for leniency.
Every part of this is a desperate attempt to stall before the actual powers back home have found a way to bullshit having any actual control of things.
It shows.
It really, really shows.
So, who was the unlucky scapegoat for the possible downfall of all of humanity?
If you guessed Samantha who wasnât supposed to even be on this ship, you would be correct!!
Seriously, she was the back up for someone who was almost conceivably qualified. Sort of, if you squinted and ignored the fact they were only there via nepotism, only to be pulled out once everyone realized they were sacrificial lambs.
And then the replacement was also saved from this bullshit via bribery and blackmail and probably some other third sketchy thing she doesnât know about.
So, here she is, Samantha who had planned on changing her name before realizing she wasnât getting out of this. Samantha, the replacement for the replacement who was chosen by a lottery held only for the illusion of equal opportunity.
There are literally billions and billions of people whose lives will be affected by whatever she ends up doing. Countless children, parents, lovers and friends and siblings. All of whom would either die or live by whatever ends up happening.
Luckily, she has one coping mechanism which never fails: Repression!!
So she thinks about literally anything else. Thinks about her favorite song as the ship nears the giant towering shape of the Galactic Senateâs meeting place. Thinks about fluffy dogs as she is led by the hand through walls and portraits and treasures with descriptions she canât read because there are no translators yet.
Thinks about her mother, thinks about her sibling, thinks about the fact everyone could literally die and it would be her fault, and wow sheâs already here.
The meeting place has a mouthful name that she could only pronounce if she managed to dislocate her jaw, grow a new set of teeth, and get a proboscis. Everyone calls it the Meeting Place, because again, there are no working translators, they all have to rely on vague equivalents.
The Meeting Place is a moon sized ship, so incomprehensibly large that any species will be able to fit. It has a dock, and a large empty room with nothing in it except for alien leaders who could slaughter them all at a whim.
There are no chairs. The temperature is set to âMildly unpleasant but liveable.â Unity and democracy means that everyone is equally uncomfortable, because this exact temperature is workable for most species.
Samantha feels a chill down her spine, both from the cold and the fact that so many of them are glaring at her. She is in the center, her crew is placed too far away to help her, and their borrowed ship is miles away from where they are now.
She prays to the gods she doesnât believe in and hopes she can stall well enough for the clusterfuck back home to get their shit together.
âHâŚâ she starts eloquently. She tries to refind where the rest of humanityâs first impression was stationed, but her view is blocked by the hundreds of giant aliens. âHe..llo?â she finishes.
Thereâs a click, and she flinches back because what if thatâs a weapon. A small cube clatters to the ground in front of her, before popping up and showing a hologram.
She would be visibly impressed, in awe, if it werenât for the fact sheâs half sure these diplomats could take any reaction as an insult.
She wouldnât be able to explain herself either, itâs too early for any sort of translator to have been made, itâs too early for anything about human body language to be common knowledge.
The crowd surrounding her rustles, fins are raised and noises are made and colors are changed. It means something, probably, but she canât tell what.
The hologram cube makes a loud, ear splitting sound, like a mix between a flatlining heart in a movie and a fire alarm going off. It snaps her out of her spiraling.
There are two large lines pointing at a screen that is pulsing with the most neon red sheâs ever had the unfortunate luck of seeing. She stares at it, and realizes itâs a quiz.
Well, more like a shitty rushed powerpoint. Like something you would make in under an hour for the fun of it.
It says, âWhat Human Want [Ask],â and she has the sneaking suspicion that whoever made this wasnât trying very hard. Underneath are barely recognizable butcherings of numbers, listing answers from one to three.
â1. Want hurt. Want no us. Lone want.â
â1nd. Want love. Want share. Want us help.â
â1rd. Want no meet us. Want late meet. Want lone.â
All of it isâŚ.confusing to say the least. At this point she doesnât even know if this is a joke or not.
Then again this wasnât supposed to be her job, she doesnât understand them either, and maybe they were genuinely trying here. But then again there are so many of them, they probably have enough resources to make at least a dozen Earths and this meeting took multiple years to take place.
The red that flashed before flashes again, than flashes a disturbingly real fingerprint on top of the answers.
She presses the second one, and wills herself to not regret it immediately. Love, sharing, help, all of that sounds good.
Except what if the help is from humanity? What if their definition of help, share, love is killing everyone ever living and she just doomed it all?? What if it meansâ
â[Greeting] [Greeting Happy] [Greeting Love] [Greeting Happy Angry Bored] [Greeting (Deragotory)]â a voice drones through a translation of the crowd. Samantha wonders when this will be over, and if sheâs going to die of anxiety before that happens.
â[Greeting Small Childish] [Greeting Sad Fear] [Greeting (Endeared)] [Greeting Pain Hurt] [Greeting Love Fear Pain]â it doesnât stop, running through every risen scale and moving limb to translate some vague approximation.
The aliens have translators. The translators are awful. This is taking so much time, which is good for the mission of stalling and bad for Samanthaâs sanity.
â[Species Name (Derogatory)] [Mother (Derogatory)] [Criminal (Deragotâ]â the whole crowd is making noise, some like barks and some like tweets and some like a monster out of hell.
And all of them seem to be arguing? Or insulting each other? Either way it continues on for a long stretch of time with nothing but noisy aliens and a robotic voice reciting nonsense that always ends in â(Derogatory.)â
â[Wrong: Too long.] [Wrong: Too fast.] [Wrong: No word Human.]â The sounds are longer, most of the crowd making them rising and puffing out to be bigger. â[Plea Slow.] [No Word for Our Word.] [New Local Child Pet Ally speak.] [No word for Our Word.]â
Samantha realizes once again, that she shouldâve left when she had the chance. And never entered that stupid lottery.
â[I hate every single one of you.] [Stop! The Ally-New-Child-Local may hear.] [You are all stupid [Species Name]]â the noises transition into understandable sentences. â[The small Diplomat-Traveler will be confused. Stop.] [They are doing fine. They will not understand our words.] [When is that useless translator going to update, Myy-Rrr-Pl?]â
Humanity as a whole can only take so much. One human as a whole can only take so much. She is halfway to a mental breakdown, fully confused and honestly she just wants to go home. This is the kind of wonder she would love if she didnât have to personally deal with the consequences.
So she goes the way of most unqualified, underpaid workers, and gives up. She isnât going to scream or sabotage anything, but her ability to feel was already warring with the tempting concept of not giving a fuck.
She speaks, for the second time. âI can hear you. And I donât much appreciate being called a child.â
â[.....]â the crowd is finally silent. She basks in the peace.
â[I told you to stop confusing the Ambassador.] [Shut up Myy-Rrr-Pl. You didnât even get these made right, we had to make a presentation, thatâs how awful you and your tech were.] [It's working now, okay?]â The peace was lovely while it lasted.
âHumanity wants, uh, to not be dead,â she says. âAnd to not be enslaved either. Or like used as food.â
â[Can you understand it?] [Of course I can, Iâm the one who learned the language.] [You barely learned it. You put half that presentation into a free-use translator.]â they keep talking, keep barking, chirping, hissing over her. â[This is a disaster.] [Itâs not that bad. My presentation went over well enough.] [Myy-Rrr-Pl shut your beak about that [intercourse (derogatory)] thing.]â
âCAN YOU BE QUIET FOR ONE SECOND??â Samantha shouts above the arguing ambassadors. There is only so much she can tolerate, the noise alone is irritating but the senseless, contextless bickering is unbearable
âThis is ridiculous,â she continues. âI donât even know whatâs going on, none of you dropped us an explanation. Why can I suddenly understand you? Who the hell is Meer-er-pull? And what the fuck is going on?â
There is no more translation, and nothing to translate into constant robotic rambling. There is no peace in the silence, just an underlying tension as every alien in the room turns to stare her in the eyes.
She wonders if sheâs fucked up, if sheâs doomed literally all of humanity because she couldnât tolerate it all and lashed out. Thereâs an apology on the tip of her tongue, but she canât manage to push it out through the indignation and fear.
No one breaks the silence. None of them speak. Samanthaâs momentary confidence wavers and she considers making a run for it before realizing there are more of those giant aliens stationed at every exit.
â[....Aumko, I think we may have [intercourse (deragotory)] this beyond fixing.] [Feces (Derogatory) Feces (Derogatory) Feces (Derogatory)â]â Luckily, it doesnât sound like sheâs going to be executed for this. Unluckily, the aliens are just as unprepared as they were, and it wasnât going to get any less confusing, was it?
â[I told you [Anatomical Feature (Exapserated)] that we shouldâve started with a smaller group of diplomats. Instead of a âproperâ meeting with everyone involved, we shouldâve picked one from each of the 3 species, then gone from there. That wouldâve beenâ]â
âIâm not getting any less confused here!!â Samantha cuts off the alien. âIâm not getting any younger either, Iâm sick of your childish bickering, get over it and give me an explanation. Please, for the love of god.â
Thereâs a moment of pause as the translator spits out a bunch of meaningful white noise. It takes a couple moments before one of the birds speaks up.
â[We should cancel this until another time,] the bird chirps. Which isnât satisfying, which isnât an explanation, but hey it does technically fulfill the mission of stalling. And honestly sheâs taking any win she can get from this. â[Weâll meet up with one of their diplomats, in a less noisy location. Theyâll meet with one ambassador from each of our species.]
â[That doesnât make sense though!!] [How will we even choose?] [A smaller meeting would be a sign of disrespect, we must show that we donât view the New-Ally as lesser.]â the noise starts up again immediately.
â[SHUT UP!!]â roars one of the giant bears in a show of irritation that she can relate to on a spiritual level. â[Myy-Rrr-Pl will serve as the [Error: No suitable translation]âs ambassador. Iâll be the second ambassador. The third will be Kssâta.]
There are ruffled feathers, low growls, no outward arguments but no agreements either.
â[I will quite literally fight anyone who decides to waste my time any further.] the bear is...puffing up? The mane of fur around its neck is puffed up like the pelt of an angry cat. â[Myy-Rrr-Pl is the only one who can even half speak the language, and who has the most context. Even if her presentation was awful.]â
â[Iâm going to be there personally to ensure this doesnât happen a second time. And KssâTa is the only one of you [Species Name] [Intercourse (Derogatory)] who doesnât argue around in circles.â
The crowd is unhappier than ever. The bear speaking sounds done with it all. Samantha is too exhausted to give a shit at this point, and just decides to be glad itâs finally over, for now.
â[Is everyone here agreed with me?â] it flares about the room, ears pinned flat to its head and mane big enough to engulf the whole of its neck. All of the crowd flinches back, no one argues too vehemently, though complaints are muttered.
The bear turns to Samantha. â[You have my apologies for my own behavior, and the behavior of these [Species Name (Derogatory)]. Weâll escort your ship back to your station.]â
Relief hits her in a mix of âitâs finally over,â and âthank fuck no one died.â
Everyone leaves, with the mission sort of accomplished, with the peace talk sort of working, and a compromise no one is happy with. Except for Samantha.
But then she learns sheâs the ambassador for humanity again, and a piece of her dies at the revelation.
Humanityâs welcome to the galaxy was chaotic, idiotic, ill prepared, and an overall clusterfuck of literally galactic proportions.
At least no one died.
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A miya osamu scenario where heâs having a quality time together with fem s/o in a quiet little coffee shop đđđ Thaaaaanks
A/N: miya osamu. your hand in marriage. now. ALSO SPOILERS IF YOU HAVENT READ UP TO CHAPTER 378 OF THE MANGA.
apricate. | miya osamu
word count: 2040
warnings: MANGA SPOILERS, slight hints of sexual content
(v.) to bask in the sun
The silver band wrapped around your left ring finger glittered warmly at the amber beam of light streaming from the tiny shopâs window. From behind the mosaic counter adorning the back of the cafe, the aroma of caffeine and freshly baked fruit tarts poured between the tables in the room. At this hour of the day, the establishment was unusually quiet, but you werenât exactly complaining about thatâ
âOsamu, I wanna go home.â
You were almost apologetic that your husband was into his third sigh of the day. At some point of time, you would be the reason behind his slowly settling wrinkles. âY/N, itâs only been 5 minutes since weâve sat down.â
It wasnât like he could blame you for it. You werenât just upset, you were distressed. A parent to three rambunctious children, and you had left them with the family shop on their own. Though it was only for the dayâand seeing that they had demanded that the both of you âgo and enjoy your day offââyou didnât get much of a wink of leisure.
âA-Are you sure itâs alright to leave Setsuko to take care of her younger siblings?â you rattled, a soft image of your precious ten-year old daughter forming in your head. âOooh⌠what if Eiji causes her too much trouble and insists that he keeps workinâ instead of eatinâ ? And âSamu, did you remember to tell her where Kaoriâs diapers are kept? M-maybe, I should call her just to checkâŚâ
As you unclasped your purse to look for your cell phone, your face paled at its obvious absence from where it shouldâve been. When you looked up to meet Osamuâs lax face, his expression had said it all.
Raising your âmissingâ phone in his hand, he crossed his arms and shot you a smirk that said: I took precautions.
âYâknow, if Secchanâs been pesterinâ us to get out of the house for so long, she knows exactly what youâd do to her if we came back to the house up in flames. Plus, Eiji and I had a talk the other day about over-workinâ himself, so rest assured, he ainât going to be doing that for a loooong, long time⌠And yes. I did tell Setsuko that Kao-chanâs nappies are on the bottom drawer of her room. âS all good. Anything else, Miya Y/N-san?â
Now it was your turn to sigh. âTheyâre my children, âSamu. Canât help it.â
âHey, Iâm also a part of the family. Why ainât I stuck on your mind all the time too, huh?â he said gruffly, a tone reserved to cheer you up whenever you needed it.
Thatâs right, you could never help it. They were your babies, the angels that were growing up too fast for your liking. It felt like it was just yesterday that your firstborn Setsuko, now at a double-digit age, was curled in your arms. Practically attached at your hip 24/7. The moment sheâd bashfully asked you to stop plaiting her hair for her, you swore you could hear your heart shatter.
Moreover, it didnât help that eight-year old Eiji (despite still being pegged as a âMamaâs boyâ) was becoming more and more of a carbon copy of his fatherâtoo hard-working, but too oblivious. You werenât one to scold your children about their grades, but with Eijiâs frightful progress at school, the lingering thought of your son saying that heâd consider dropping out of school to âbe an adultâ so Osamu would let him work full-time at the shop hindered you from any good nightâs sleep.
But Kaori⌠Oh, your darling treasure Miya Kaori. Just a year old, fresh from your womb. Like so, âKao-chanâ was the apple of your older childrenâs eyes and the jewel of her fatherâs heart. The lone salvation of your livelihood was her innocent youth and you were desperately begging the gods to keep it that way. As soon as Kaori would start tying her own shoelaces and everything, you were sure you were going to turn into stone.
Your knees bumping under the picturesque, wrought iron table, Osamu gave you an endearing smile. âRelax. We have Fuji-san to keep an eye on âem in the shop, right? That guyâs got more nerves than his own body. If weâre worried about anythinâ, itâs that the kids would get bored with him telling them to sit still.â
Your mind drifted to the thought of the young but unusually high-strung college student whoâd been working part-time at the onigiri shop for two years. Osamu did make a point though. The bespectacled Fujiwara Chiaki was probably more dedicated to working than your own husbandâa trait that he had likely passed on to your only son Eiji. The idea was concerning, but not to the extent where your head throbbed from it.
âThey say if you think too much, youâll grow old faster,â Osamu poked teasingly, while pushing a plate of a fragrant confectionary towards you. âYou didnât even notice that Iâd brought back your favorite cheesecake.â
At the mention of the dessert, your eyes shot downwards to the platter. It looked just as sweet and luscious as it always did. From the first time you had it in high school as a âthank-you giftâ from Osamu for helping him study for his exams, down to your wedding party where your friends had surprised you with an entire tower of it. You were sure Osamu wouldâve been sick of tasting the velvety cream for 20 years and counting, but there was another suspicion you had that heâd feel gratified whenever he got it for you.
Holding out a forkful of cake, he said smugly at your twinkling gaze. âOpen sesame, Y/N-chan.â
You didnât hesitate for a second. When was the last time you got to enjoy yourself without any sniffles or pleading demands from your children? Theyâd inherited you and their fatherâs affinity for eating after all; a meal would never go untouched when it came to the Miya household. And if youâd brought this cake home, you know theyâd bulldoze it down before you could grab a slice for yourself.
âSo goodâŚâ you murmured, savoring the lightness of the dessert. Tangy and tethering on the border of being sweet and too sweet, this was indefinitely your next favorite thing after your family.
Osamu chuckled as you ate, tucking the loose strands of hair behind your ear. âAinât this getting too sugary for you? Yâknow, I only gave you this the first time because Iâd felt my teeth would fall out if I ate a bite of it.â
âYou practically bribed me with it so Iâd date you. If you think about it, you used this to bribe me into a lot of things!â your pout did not mask your amusement at all.
âLike how I used this so youâd finally catch a break from coddlinâ Secchan and have a better âtimeâ with your lovinâ husband? Iâd say that it was a profitable compromise, my dear.â
You scoffed. âProfitable until you learn that having a second child was harder that youâd thought. Howâd it feel tryinâ to feed Eiji the first time, huh?â
âIt was a coincidence that Eiji just had to be a picky child growing up,â he shrugged. âShould I point out that you made it harder with spoilinâ him rotten, Mama Miya?â
You gave him your best, dramatized expression of offense. Oh, two could play this game. âExcuse you, Papa Miya. But who was the one who bought Setsuko an entire 50,000 yen-pretend kitchen as soon as she gave them one small tug on the sleeve?â
âCâmon, Y/N, you knew if I could afford it Iâd buy it for her, no questions asked! The face she pulled when we brought it home could add ten years to my lifespan. Thereâs no way I would want to miss it,â his cheeks flared a vivid crimson. Hiding a snicker, you wondered how long it had been since youâd last seen that look on him.
âMiya Setsuko, the heiress of Onigiri Miya, already interested in the way of the stove at four years old! I couldnât believe it. Ainât she pretty darn cute in that apron we got in the set? Nah⌠thatâs probably because Secchanâs pretty darn cute herselfâŚâ He was rambling now, eyes glossed over at the image of his daughter. Six years ago, sheâd happily hopped into his lap when heâd finished tying up the frilly, daffodil-yellow apron, and gave him a hug that nearly pushed him to tears. Oh, how you wished you were there to see it.
âOsamu⌠Your gap moe* is showinâ.â
âOh, hush!â he spat, averting his gaze from yours as your leaned back on your chair, nearly doubling over in laughter. Though part of his face was covered by the large, ornate coffee mug, you knew he was smiling through and through.
The soft tinkling of the fake crystal chandeliers in your wake, your insides felt tingly in a way you havenât felt for so long. What felt like hours, you spent talking with your husband about your little family, the shop, his brother (though this was quickly interrupted by another conversation about what Kaoriâs first word would be), and all the things youâd never had the time to talk about since you were both so busy. It was just like high school all over again, only less melodramatic and more⌠wrinkly. But just as colorful as it always had been.
However, when Osamu fell silent, you knew something had gone terribly wrong. Setting down your fork, you leaned over the small table to observe his wallowing features.
âOsamu, whatâs wrong? Are you okay?â
As if he was being forced to shove an entire rock down his throat, he whispered, â⌠I miss âem.â
You stared at him, then did a double take. âS-sorry, say that again? Didnât hear you.â
With reddened cheeks, he repeated himself anyway. â I miss âem! All this talk about the kids⌠I know itâs only been a couple of hours but I miss Secchan already! M-my baby. My princess. Y-you know what itâs like, right, Y/N?â
You felt like a colossal force had lifted from your back. Grabbing your husbandâs shoulders from across the table, you shook him while exclaiming, âMe too! I miss âem too! God, the entire time I was wishing I was feedinâ this cake to Eiji instead of myself. The way his cheeks puff up when he chews something⌠I have to see itâŚ! And especiallyââ
âKao-chan.â
âKaori.â
And just as the planets aligned, your cell phone that had been sitting in Osamuâs coat the entire time rang. Taking it out of his pocket, he showed you the screen, displaying the name of the caller. Fujiwara Chiaki.
With your husband pressed close to your side, both cramped on one dainty seat of the cafeâs chair, you listened closely to the other side of the phone. âHello? Fujiwara-kun?â
Chiakiâs meek but strangely jovial voice responded through the speakers. âAh, Y/N-san, you picked up. The children wanted to speak with you about something. I think youâll like thisââ
âChiakiii! Youâre takinâ too long on the phone~ Hi, Mama! Can Papa hear me too?!â
Looking at your husband, you exchanged a smile. Eiji. Leaning his head on your shoulder, he cooed at your son. âIâm right here, Eiji.â
âGreat! Because we have some ultra, big, super, important news to tell youâ!â
A pop, a crackle and Eijiâs exuberant voice turned into Setsukoâs huffy, light one. âEiji, Mama and Papa put me in charge so Iâm gonna tell âem! âŚMama, Mama, Mama, you wonât believe what happened!â
âOh? What happened, Setsuko?â you giggled, heart softening at the lilt of your daughterâs voice.
âKao-chan said her first word today!â
Literally swiping the phone from your grasps, Osamu, practically gleaming from the announcement, excitedly quivered as he spoke. âR-really? She did that, Secchan? What did she say? Was it âPapaâ or âMamaâ?â
âHmm⌠I think it wasââ
âSecond thought, donât tell us. I want to see and hear it for myself.â
That was your cue. Unravelling your right arm into the air, you shot the waitress your biggest smile. âCheck, please!â
ââââââ ââ
â ââââââ
Glossary:
gap moe - when someone does something that is the complete opposite of their habits
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu scenarios#miya osamu#miya osamu x reader#miya osamu imagine#miya osamu scenario#inarizaki x reader#sfw#osamu x reader#bruh haikyuu writing
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Lately it's like I'm no longer alive
Laying in my bed, staring at the ceiling
No fire in my eyes
No ignition or a spark to light this darkness of mine
I'm in the darkest corner of this cold room
And I don't want to survive.
Every morning I open my eyes
But don't move in the slightest
The park outside is empty
And the sun ain't the brightest
Today is dull and grey like yesterday and all those before
Yet everyday I look at the same shit but I still wonder what's in store...
For me, it's like the world is filled with leeches because I've been feeling drained
And the wind is filled with whispers,
This breeze is driving me insane
My heart has more scars than me
But I guess I can't complain
I thought what we were was strong enough, but I guess I'll take the blame
I'm alone again
I find it strange because
I feel like I'm at home again
Sorry if I don't attend this party
But I need a friend
Sorry if I say something's that hurt you it's not my intent
I just want to find some love
Instead my heart wants to take revenge
The way my chest feels broke and old
It's no wonder why I've felt so dead
I fell in love...
But I lost myself in this descent
I forgot who I am, am I worth much?
How much did I forget?
I swear it's like I always break down in tears
When no one is near, because I have nothing left!
This cold heart turns my tears to snow
Hold out your tongue and you can taste all of my regrets
And once my tears turn to a blizzard
Everything I've done! I think I must repent
Take me back to church!
Because I'm cursed with this broken heart in my chest
Because I always see her face
Someone save me before it's
too late...
My winter days are all the same
Hoping for a paradise when the cold plays
But maybe a message from a friend could keep this heart warm
But it's inevitable...
Because I could be in the centre of 1000 people
And still feel as lonely as ever
What a twisted heaven...
So I'll just sit somewhere that's peaceful
The only place I know
The path that leads over the horizon
Where I can sit in silence
With my head in both hands
So all my emotions can break through the walls I built to hide them.
On this same bench...
This same bench I sit on to gather my thoughts
Is the same bench I sat on where I cried for my loss
Which is the same bench where I watched the amber spotlight fall under the hills,
And I watched the stars shoot across
I've seen the burning sky fade into the night
Giving these beautiful stars a chance to shine bright
Helping me forget my issues,
Helping me feel... just fine
Just for now
I look down from these stars
Looking over this town
This city of bright lights from the moving cars
Help me feel like I belong
Because there are days I don't want to hold on
I don't mind where, but send me to somewhere beyond
Somewhere I feel accepted
Somewhere I can get a response, that can last a lifetime
Send me somewhere I can feel less alone
Send me to a place I can finally call my home
Because I'm tired
I am sick
I am terrified!
of being on my own...
I hate my voice
Why do I continue to try
All the music I've been making
Maybe I've been wasting my time
I'm trying to get ahead
But I keep tripping over these regrets
All of them are shackled to my ankle
And I can barely take a step
Like I'm trying to make a living
But I'm sprinting with these anchors!
So maybe I should stop my singing!
And I was never cool enough to be a rapper!
I ignore so many calls,
Sorry I was busy breaking down
But I'll stop that for a minute
So you can tell me what you're doing now
Who? Me? Nah! I ain't done much
I've just been busy that is all
I'll tell you next time
But next time will never come around!
So now I'm back here yet again
In a bed filled with all my emotions that I leave behind
Shattered memories, pieces of my heart, some forgotten pieces of my mind
Two rings that sit on top of a wet pillow
Each ring holding a promise
And the pillow holding when those promises are broken.
But this isn't just about me
This is for anybody who is torn
Anybody who would set themselves alight
Just to keep somebody warm
And all the sacrifices you made
Because they made you feel reborn
I swore to you
Forever and always!
Every second of
every 365 days
You gave me hope
And set my heart ablaze
You left me in the ashes of all your lies
You had me getting third degree burns from the moment we got engaged
So is it me?!
Am I desperate?!
Did I cling too soon? Am I to blame?
My heart is reckless!
I always fall into this pit that we call "love"!
That's why I'm helpless!
Because nobody can stop a broken heart
From finding comfort and save it from always falling apart!
Love & life is precious!
Never let someone come along and bore a hole where your chest is
I heard the lights will guide you home and fix you
They'll only lead you to your death bed
Had a chat with a wiseman but didn't listen to a sentence
Because I had a devil by my side, taking control of all my senses
Using this broken gullible heart against me
Used the biggest shard of depression as a weapon
Now my mind and soul has this overwhelming pressure
One more crack and this whole thing might be over
When will I understand my lesson?
Who am I?
What am I?
Wait...
I understand it now
It is me!
I am flawed!
I am broken!
I guess I can't ever fix this body of twisted emotions!
I can't go back in time!
I can't call those I had cut from my life.
I can't apologise
I'm never tough on anyone other than me!
I can no longer close my eyes and dream, of a perfect world where the girl I love is laying beside me!
So no more lies.
No more burning bridges just because there's a fire in my eyes!
No more days where I'm unhappy to see the sun
I believe in myself more
My voice is better than I thought
My guitars and awards, hang on walls because I'm proud of what I've done!
What I've become!
Who I am! But I just can't!
Because the world rips open my eyes again!
And all I can see!
... is a ceiling...
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